Are you ever going to text me?

This episode is best listened to with a tuna fish salad on white bread and mayonnaise, a tab, and a couple of Twinkies.

The guys celebrate Jason's birthday with lists of their favorite birthdays in movies.

Joseph selects two films with identical premises that go in two very different directions.

The guys lament on how they used to think 44 was really old.

The Donger need food... and other offensive references makes it in the list.

Nothing like celebrating Jesus' birthday with a "magic show" at zero nine-thirty.

You're CRAAAAZZZZZY MAAAAAN!

Andy is freakin' 36 years old. Let that sink in for a bit.

Which actor is disliked by PETA for picking on little ponies?

Did everyone get to see the cake, before we divide of this island country?

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This episode has chicks carrying swords and sticks.

• Jason, Jim, and Joseph cover some of the best female movie character who kick butt.
• Bad AI! Bad AI!
• Everybody wants the new Jason transitioning action figure.
• Jim gets in trouble with wives using AI for a poorly executed joke.
• Jason is all for female empowerment (as long as they're hot).
• She can take a punch. She just can't take a stool.
• She's so tough she can beat you with one hand. Mostly because she only has one hand.
• Mr. F!!!
• Rogue One: you can't remember anything about it, but it was great.
• Apologies to Milla Javovich or however you say her name.
• Kill Bill really missed a great opportunity of not including Raymond Burr.
• Jim dumps on San Antonio.
• Which is the worst episode of The Office according to Jim?
• How did Alien 3 ruin Aliens in just the opening scene?

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This episode does not include any obsessed Greeks.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph walk down the aisle and propose their best movies with weddings in them.

• May your first child be a masculine child.
• Hollywood elite Will Ferrell steals Jim's daughter's wedding suite.
• Jason identifies himself as the worst kind of dog-owning neighbor.
• Alcoholism is just not as funny as it was in the 80s.
• Slappin' da bass!
• Who learned how to be a responsible pet owner from Jason Segel?
• What's a wedding without an awkward, drunken toast?

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This episode gets a little verklempt.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph get a little teary eyed over their choices of best emotional movie scenes.

Jim describes his triumph at South by Congress.

Talk amongst yourselves.

Joseph is a kvetch about getting verklempt.

Jim ran the Philidelphia Museum steps like Rocky and was promptly ridiculed by the locals.

Jason boldly accuses Spielberg of being a hack.

It's a stupid cartoon, but it chokes Joseph up every time.

All complaints regarding this episode should go to Jason@crispycoatedrobots.com

Dogs proves to be the emotional Achilles heel to guys watching movies.

Which femme fatal was wrongfully omitted from the femme fatal episode?

What movie does the Meeker household find entertainment in watching Jason cry?

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This episode doesn’t like taking naps.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph try to find happiness by selecting their favorite depressed characters in movies.

I’m Joseph Johnson. I’m an AV man.

Prozac and Skittles

I misjudged you. I’m not perfect. Buy the box.

The best grandparents take their grandchildren to see movies about sex and suicide.

The power of the ham sandwich!

Oh, Bother!

Why do bums have amazing hair?

What does Taoism have to do with Poo? More importantly, who cares?

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This episode is very sweaty (or at least has a lot of sweaty references).

Jason, Jim, and Joseph rumble over the best jungle movies.

But the ass is real.

Joseph reveals his youth ambition to be Boy, but he just ended up being a monkey dancing to a singing orangutan.

Jim gives some love to Eddie Grant's rejected theme song to great jungle movie.

Jason takes offense at Joseph for taking a "dinosaur dump" on one of his selections.

Sheena or Beastmaster?

What do YOU mean, "you people"?

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This episode was made by humans (sort of).

In the spirit of International Women's Day, Jason, Jim, and Joseph list their favorite best supporting actress winners.

AI Joseph - it won't let you down after a night of drinking.

Jason gets scorned for his selections from last week's episode.

It's singing. It's not real acting.

Scarlett O'Hara wouldn't have lasted through the civil war and the movie would not have been as good with Joseph and Jason's selection.

Jim confesses some of his boyhood fetishes of Rita Moreno and the Muppets.

The boys praise Allison Janney's great performance of a stinky mother.

One of Meryl Steep's performances comes down to her ability to flinch during confrontations.

"Were you a failure and the one most important relationship in your life?"

Why does a Walter Mathau impression come up so many times in the episode?

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WARNING: This episode has an excess of impersonations.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph list their favorite Supporting Actor winners.

Jim asks the important question of determining the different types of Okies.

Iris: it’s not so much a great movie as it is a preventer of recognition for bad Oscar performances.

It’s the Chicago Rock Way.

Hey Friendo.

Jason cleverly sneaks past the “no complaining” policy of Oscar nominees.

Joseph admits that a little bullying can bring out the best in people.

What actor suffered PTSD from too much cowbell?

How in the hell did a Jimmy Stewart impression make it into this show?