Dam Internet, You Scary!

Auteur(s): Patrick Cloud Tahir Moore
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  • Résumé

  • THE BOYS ARE BACK!! FROM THE ALL DEF PODCAST: "THE INTERNET IS UNDEFEATED" COMES A NEW SPINOFF SHOW CALLED "DAM INTERNET, YOU SCARY!!"Hosts Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud break down the hilarious yet horrifying things we see on the internet every day!! Then close the curtains and get into some creepy conspiracies!!
    Dam Internet, You Scary!
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True Crime
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Épisodes
  • 298: We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things | DIYS w/ Spank Horton

    298: We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things | DIYS w/ Spank Horton
    Apr 24 2025
    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. https://www.betterhelp.com/diys

    What happens when comedian Spank Horton pulls up to Dam Internet, You Scary!? Shirtless birthday parties, wild drug trips, international thirst stories, detachable sea penises, and cows who hate country music. Hosts Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud go toe-to-toe with Spank in one of the most hilariously unhinged episodes ever.

    💥 From talking ketamine to awkward strip club returns, from Brazilian magazine girls to frogs getting divorced for too much rain—this one has it ALL.

    🎤 Hosted by: Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud
    🎧 Guest: Spank Horton https://www.instagram.com/spankhorton/
    🎥 Produced by: @HippieGoals

    📍 Chapters + Timestamps below 👇
    📲 Subscribe & hit the bell for more weekly chaos!
    🔗 Follow us on socials: @daminternetscary
    ✂️ Best moments from this episode? COMMENT BELOW!

    0:00 - The Freestyle Is Wild Right Away
    2:01 - Spank Talks Getting “Fired” by Kevin Hart
    4:04 - Kev’s Workout Rules & Phone Calls at 6AM
    5:10 - Spank’s Birthday Turn-Up: No Shirt in the Club
    7:00 - “Would You Take Your Shirt Off In Church?”
    9:00 - Spank’s Freestyle to a Mario Trap Beat
    11:10 - Macy’s Catalogs & Magazine Shopping Woes
    13:00 - Brazilian Magazine Girls & "Ordering by Name"
    15:10 - Beauty in Brazil vs. Getting Kidnapped
    17:00 - The Artist Who Drew Himself on Every Drug
    20:30 - Ranking Drug Portraits: Weed, Cocaine, Meth
    25:00 - Everyone Admits Which Ones They Tried
    27:00 - DMT Trips, Hieroglyphics & Lucy-Level Visuals
    30:00 - Spank Tries Ketamine—Then Rips His Shirt Off
    32:00 - “We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things”
    33:45 - Cows Hate Country Music?!
    35:00 - Wagyu Cows Live Better Than Us
    36:15 - Women’s Self-Defense Gloves from the 1800s
    38:10 - Sea Creatures with Detachable D**ks 🤯
    40:00 - Frog Marriage & the Flood It Caused
    43:00 - Spank’s Favorite City for Beautiful Women
    45:00 - India, Mia Khalifa & Trash City in Egypt
    48:00 - Spank’s Chaotic Jamaica Trip w/ 90 People
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    1 h et 6 min
  • 297: Are Spiders Plotting Against Us? + Downtown LA’s Creepiest Secrets on DIYS w/Vanessa Graddick

    297: Are Spiders Plotting Against Us? + Downtown LA’s Creepiest Secrets on DIYS w/Vanessa Graddick
    Apr 17 2025
    🎙️ Welcome back to Damn Internet, You Scary! with your hosts @PatrickCloudChannel and @TahirMoore. This week’s hilarious guest is none other than comedian, writer, and mixologist-in-residence Vanessa Graddick! https://wwww.instagram.com/vanessagraddick

    In this episode:

    🍸 Vanessa drops drink game with edible glitter cocktails
    👮‍♂️ We dive into the wild conspiracy that Family Matters was a delusion created by Carl Winslow!
    🕷️ Spiders could theoretically eat all humans in under a year?! Say what?
    🌲 We explore the real-life Zone of Death loophole where you could legally get away with murder!
    🌆 Plus: the haunting side of downtown LA, from graffiti ghosts to pigeon-covered staircases.

    Don’t forget to like, comment, and SUBSCRIBE for more comedy, conspiracies, and chaos.

    💬 Drop your thoughts: What show from the 90s deserves a conspiracy theory?

    S/O to our Sponsors
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    0:00 - Kicking Things Off & Making Wishes at 12:34
    0:42 - Birthday Numbers & Seeing Patterns in Time
    1:21 - Can You Manifest the Clock?
    1:55 - Timing Needs to Be Organic
    2:29 - Sleepy Faces & Misinterpreted Drool
    3:02 - The Money Shot Debate
    3:15 - Titty Bang Failures & Bad Aim
    3:30 - Vasectomy Confessions & Reduced Velocity
    4:27 - The Brick House Blueprint
    5:03 - Invention: The Skee-Ball Sex Game
    5:37 - Olympic Score System for Sex
    6:14 - Global Expansion for Semen Games?!
    6:50 - Scoring Hair vs Headboard vs Butt
    7:35 - Missionary Skeeball Gets Competitive
    8:07 - Can Amazon Sell This?
    9:01 - Sitcom Theme Songs with a Trap Remix
    10:17 - Vanessa’s Glitter Cocktails & DIY Mixology
    11:22 - Frasier Love & Drink Inspiration
    12:12 - Sitcom Reboots & Night Court Talk
    13:49 - Kathy Bates in Matlock & Writing Classes
    15:17 - Sitcom Trap Beat Freestyle
    16:59 - Cheese is as Addictive as Cocaine?!
    17:32 - The Carl Winslow Multiverse Conspiracy
    19:42 - Typecasting & The Ghost of Urkel
    21:17 - Family Matters Is a Cop's Fantasy
    23:51 - Schizophrenia Dog Named Barbie 🐶
    24:35 - Could Spiders Eat All Humans?!
    26:20 - Slavery Stats & Spider Logic
    27:34 - If We Ate White People Instead of Chicken...
    28:40 - What If Don Julio Sponsored Cracker Barrel?
    29:58 - Ad Read: Bluechew Comedy Segment
    32:37 - Words We Can’t Say: Specificity & Naïveté
    33:43 - The Zone of Death: Legal Murder in Idaho?!
    36:08 - Yellowstone’s “Train Station” Theory
    38:43 - Downtown LA: Squatters, Drugs & Dodger Dogs
    43:57 - Man in a Diaper with Pigeons?!
    44:58 - Why Dodger Dogs Are Baseball's Real MVP
    45:40 - PrizePicks Sports Talk & Fantasy Betting
    51:20 - Cheese Debate Continues: Sharp Cheddar Wins
    55:55 - Vanessa’s Final Plugs & Upcoming Projects

    #DIYS #VanessaGraddick #FamilyMattersTheory #Spiders #ZoneOfDeath #ComedyPodcast #BlackCreators #urbanlegends

    Producer: @HippieGoals ​
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    57 min
  • 296: Frog or Lizard Afterlife? Terminal Man Story, Mario Debates + More | DIYS

    296: Frog or Lizard Afterlife? Terminal Man Story, Mario Debates + More | DIYS
    Apr 10 2025
    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

    On this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir and Patrick go from conspiracy theories to hilarious hypotheticals. They dive into the real-life story behind The Terminal, uncover wild Mountain Dew conspiracy theories, and debate the practicality of Mario’s power-ups. Also—should you come back as a frog or a lizard in the next life? And how powerful is Dr. Doom really?

    We’re talking:

    Getting stuck in an airport for 18 years
    Frog butt cheeks
    Marvel movie hot takes
    Star or 1UP—what would you pick IRL?

    💥 Sponsored by Factor Meals & BetterHelp
    🍽️ Get 50% off at https://www.factormeals.com/diys50off
    🧠 Try online therapy at https://www.betterhelp.com/diys

    🔥 New episodes every week! Subscribe for more wild convos and nerd debates.

    0:00 – Intro + Martial Arts Fitness
    1:08 – Energy Drinks, Mornings & Sugar
    1:26 – Guest Cancellations & Old School Vibes
    2:00 – The Mountain Dew Conspiracy 🥤
    3:07 – The Terminal Was Real?!
    5:00 – Living in an Airport: Hacks & Struggles
    9:10 – Worst Airports Ranked ✈️
    14:30 – Vegas Airport = Chaos
    16:52 – Life Hacks & Crazy Tariffs
    18:00 – Billionaires Losing Billions
    20:00 – Jackie Chan Won’t Leave His Kids a Dime
    22:25 – Factor Meals Ad Read
    23:00 – Mario Star vs 1-Up Debate 🍄
    26:08 – Robbing a Bank with Mario Powers
    28:07 – First Animal That Doesn’t Need Oxygen
    30:25 – Animals That Don’t Drink Water
    34:13 – Would You Come Back as a Frog or Lizard? 🐸🦎
    36:11 – Poison Dart Frog Swag
    40:05 – BetterHelp Ad Read
    42:14 – Avengers: Endgame Deserves a Spot in Top 5
    44:13 – Marvel vs DC: Who’s Winning Now?
    48:00 – Doctor Doom is Tony Stark?!
    50:52 – Most Powerful Marvel Villains Ranked
    52:56 – Wanda’s True Power & Marvel Plotlines
    54:00 – Disney+ Pricing Woes
    55:00 – Sneak Peek: Sleeping Sickness Segment


    Join our Patreon now!!
    https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary
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    1 h et 7 min

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