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Delight Your Marriage

Delight Your Marriage

Auteur(s): Belah Rose | Author Podcaster & Marital Intimacy Enthusiast
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 Husbands and wives were designed to be different. You want different things in marriage and intimacy on every level (emotional, spiritual, and physical). Whether you're a wife or a husband, whether you're suffering or pretty good... and you're looking for Bible-based insights and scriptural practical guidance on how to transform your marriage, you've found the right podcast! We have "transformation stories" that will inspire hope that putting into practice these principles, by God's grace, can truly change your intimacy completely. If you're looking to see how to transform your marriage sign up for a free Clarity Call, we can hear your story and work with you to determine if we are confident we can help you: https://www.delightyourmarriage.com/cc(c) Delight Your Marriage Christianisme Hygiene & Healthy Living Pastorale et évangélisme Spiritualité
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  • 490-Putting God First Will Change Your Marriage

    490-Putting God First Will Change Your Marriage
    Jul 4 2025
    Putting God First Will Change Your Marriage If you're anything like me, you’ve found yourself caught in the swirl of responsibilities, relationships, expectations... and distractions. It’s so easy to let the noise of life drown out the voice of God. Even in marriage—especially in marriage—it’s easy to start placing our hope in the wrong thing. And when we do that, even the good things, like marriage, can become shaky ground. But what if the real anchor isn’t your spouse, or your role, or your routine—but your relationship with God? Why Putting God First Can Transform Your Marriage We live in a world of constant input. Notifications, streaming, social media, endless to-dos. And if we’re not intentional, those distractions steal our attention—and with it, our peace, our purpose, and our priorities. I've found that when I step away from it all—when I intentionally remove the distractions—I can finally hear God clearly again. Whether it's walking in nature without my phone or sitting in a quiet space with my journal, those moments of silence are sacred. They realign me. Because when God is clear, everything else becomes clear, too. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” —Matthew 6:33 How Husbands Can Become Spiritual Leaders in the Home Husbands, you are called to lead your home—not because you have all the answers, but because God entrusted you with that role. Leadership doesn’t mean control. It means surrender. It means taking responsibility, laying down pride, and anchoring your identity in Christ—not in your wife’s response. If your stability is based on her reactions, your leadership will always be shaky. But when your eyes are on Jesus, you can lead with strength, consistency, and peace—even if the journey is slow. “The wise man built his house on the rock… and it did not fall.” —Matthew 7:24-25 (paraphrased) What Biblical Respect Looks Like for Christian Wives Wives, I get it. Maybe you feel like you’ve had to take the reins because your husband hasn’t. Maybe you feel stronger spiritually. Maybe you’re just more organized. But leadership is about role—not ability. And when we as wives step out of our God-given role, we accidentally make it harder for our husbands to rise into theirs. Respect doesn’t mean silence or enabling. It means honoring the role God has given him, even when it’s hard. And when you do? It makes your husband feel safe, trusted, and invited to lead. Should I Still Respect My Husband If I Don’t Trust Him? If your husband has let you down—or worse, betrayed your trust—you might wonder: “How do I respect a man who hasn’t earned it?” That’s real. But our motivation as believers isn’t based on someone else’s worthiness. It’s based on God’s worthiness. You can walk in wisdom, set boundaries, and still respect the role. Because when you show honor, you’re honoring God first. (Need more on this? Search our site for our podcast: “Respect an Untrustworthy Man”) Why Most Marriages Struggle Without Spiritual Rhythms If you’ve been running on empty, it may be time to return to spiritual rhythms. Daily time with God. Weekly check-ins with your heart. Monthly reflection. These aren’t just good habits—they’re lifelines. They give you clarity, patience, and power to live out your role with joy. Even if your personality makes this hard (mine does too!), it’s worth fighting for. Your family’s health depends on your spiritual nourishment. What “Helper” Really Means (And It’s Not What You Think) In Genesis 2, God calls Eve a “helper”—and the original Hebrew word ezer is used most often to describe God Himself as our rescuer, protector, and strength. Wives, this means your role is powerful, not passive. You have the God-given ability to uplift, empower, and even save your husband in ways no one else can. Not through control, but through encouragement, respect, and faith-filled love. When Leadership in Marriage Gets Out of Order The fall of man in Genesis didn’t start with an affair or abuse. It started with misplaced leadership. Adam was present. He knew the truth. But instead of leading, he followed. Instead of obeying God, he obeyed his wife. Men, this is your reminder: you are responsible. And women, if you want your husband to lead, you have to let go of the wheel. Restoring biblical order doesn’t mean a power struggle—it means peace, protection, and purpose. What to Do When You Feel Hopeless in Your Marriage You might be reading this with tears in your eyes. Maybe your marriage is hanging by a thread. Maybe you've tried everything, and nothing has worked. Maybe you’re ready to give up. Don’t. God sees you. He hasn’t forgotten you. And no matter how far things have gone, there is still hope. Even if your spouse doesn’t change right away. Even if it’s just you taking the first step. Seek God first. Love your ...
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    49 min
  • 489-Harshness to Beautiful Kindness: Marriage Encouragement with Rhonda Stoppe

    489-Harshness to Beautiful Kindness: Marriage Encouragement with Rhonda Stoppe
    Jun 27 2025
    Marriage is one of the greatest blessings — and one of the greatest refining processes — we can experience. But if we're honest, many of us carry regrets when it comes to how we've treated our spouse, how we've handled conflict, or the words we've spoken in frustration. We don't always recognize how often harshness sneaks into our marriage, chipping away at intimacy, connection, and joy. But here's the good news: God's love can heal, restore, and transform even the most regret-filled moments in your relationship. In a recent conversation with author and speaker Rhonda Stoppe, we unpacked the profound truth of living with "no regrets" in marriage — and the practical steps to get there. You Can Break Free From the Regrets Holding You Back Let’s be honest — we’ve all made mistakes in marriage, in parenting, in life. Those regrets? They can paralyze us. Rhonda reminded us that regret is often a weapon the enemy uses to keep us from becoming the women God designed us to be. But here’s the truth — God’s love washes those regrets away. Philippians tells us to “forget what lies behind and strain toward what lies ahead.” Even Paul had to lay his past down — his role in Stephen's death, his persecution of believers — yet God still used him powerfully. The same is true for you. Whether your regrets stem from the way you've treated your spouse, parenting mistakes, or deep wounds from your own upbringing, you are not disqualified from God's call on your life. The Destructive Power of Harshness in Marriage Rhonda unpacked something so practical yet so convicting: how often our inner thoughts turn harsh long before words ever leave our mouth. Ever had the entire argument with your husband in your head before he even walked through the door? I’ve been there! You play out the "you always" or "you never" narrative and boom — your harsh words fly the second he steps inside. But as Rhonda beautifully reminded us, love "believes all things" (1 Corinthians 13). That means believing the best about our spouse — assuming good intentions — not assigning negative motives. Harshness can destroy intimacy faster than almost anything else. It pushes our husband away emotionally. It makes our home a place he — and even our children — dread coming back to. The Courage to Repent: Humility Over Pride This hit me hard. Rhonda shared how pride keeps so many people from growth. It’s painful to look back and realize we’ve done things wrong for so long. But friend, God already knows it all — and still loves you. When we confess, repent, and humble ourselves before Him, He transforms us from the inside out. David's story is such an example. After his sin with Bathsheba, he didn’t make excuses. He repented with a broken, contrite heart — and God restored him. If harshness, selfishness, or regret has gripped your heart, your story isn’t over. God offers freedom, but it starts with humility. Are You a Harsh Spouse? How to Recognize & Change Harshness is sneaky. Many of us don't even recognize when it's become part of our communication. Rhonda described it as trying to control or hurt with your words to get your way — whether out of fear, frustration, or habit. Here are some signs of harshness in marriage: You regularly raise your voice or speak with a biting tone. Your family feels like they have to walk on eggshells around you. You replay your spouse's flaws in your mind more than their strengths. You assume negative motives for your spouse's actions. If that’s you — take heart! You can change. It starts with repentance, inviting God's Spirit to wash over you, and intentionally building new habits. Building a No-Regrets Marriage: Practical Next Steps Rhonda didn’t just leave us with conviction — she gave such hopeful steps forward: Get in the Word Daily God's Word renews your mind. Listen to scripture, write it out, feast on His promises like daily bread. Find Godly Community You need women around you who love Jesus and will speak truth in love — especially older, wise women. (#OldLadiesKnowStuff — I love that!) Choose to Believe the Best Make it a practice to assume good about your spouse. Remember how you did that when you were dating? Let’s bring that mindset back! Apologize & Repair If your harshness has caused damage — humbly ask for forgiveness. Your vulnerability can open doors for healing, even if it takes time. Cling to God's Love First Your happiness isn’t dependent on your husband's actions — it's rooted in how deeply you believe God's love for you. The Legacy You Build Starts Today I adored Rhonda's reminder that the home we build today — with love, forgiveness, humility — shapes our children's future marriages and their walk with God. You don’t want to look back with regret because of harshness or pride. But even if that's part of your story, God's grace offers a reset, starting today. We are rooting for you! May God's kind heart move your own ...
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    1 h et 2 min
  • 488-Wives, Pleasure Is An Important Part of Life (Really!)

    488-Wives, Pleasure Is An Important Part of Life (Really!)
    Jun 20 2025
    Wives, Pleasure Is An Important Part of Life (Really!) If you're a wife who feels like physical intimacy just isn’t for you... this post is for you. Maybe you’ve been hurt in the past. Maybe sex feels awkward, or painful, or even meaningless. Maybe it seems like something only he wants, and you just go along with it. If any of that resonates, I want you to know: you're not broken. You're not alone. And there is hope. When Sex Feels Disappointing or Painful in Marriage When I first got married, I was so excited. I had saved myself for marriage and imagined physical intimacy would be beautiful and bonding. But what I experienced instead was disappointment. It was physically painful, emotionally awkward, and deeply confusing. I felt ashamed, fat, insecure, and unprepared. My marriage at that time eventually ended in divorce. There was no biblical reason—I just couldn’t take the strife and anxiety anymore. I was devastated. I had followed what I believed was the right path, and yet my marriage still crumbled. And then, I drifted. I walked away from God's design, from purity, and into promiscuity. But God is a Redeemer. In time, He gently brought me back. I met a kind, respectful man, and with him, God showed me what healthy, healing intimacy could look like. And it has been a journey—one filled with slow growth, freedom, and true pleasure. Understanding God’s Design for Sexual Pleasure in Marriage Let’s be honest—many wives could take or leave sex. Some even hate it. And yet, God designed physical intimacy to be good—not just for your husband, but for you. You may have grown up in purity culture, where sex was labeled “bad,” “shameful,” or “off-limits.” Then suddenly, you get married and are expected to flip a switch and enjoy it. That’s confusing, to say the least! But what if we started thinking of pleasure the way God does? What if we saw it as a gift? You enjoy a clean house, right? You feel at peace, relaxed, energized. That’s pleasure. So why is it so hard to believe that sexual pleasure could be just as valid, just as worthy, just as holy? Why Christian Wives Should Value Pleasure in Intimacy God didn’t create intimacy only for reproduction or duty. He created it for joy, connection, healing, and pleasure. Even Song of Solomon celebrates sensuality—touch, smell, taste, sight, and sound. Pleasure is part of God’s design. It doesn’t have to end in orgasm or even intercourse to be sacred. A simple act like cuddling, stripping down just to rest in your husband’s arms, or a gentle caress can be deeply meaningful. An moment where you focus on intimacy without the pressure of a “goal.” It’s healing. It’s freeing. How to Begin Enjoying Intimacy Again—Even If You Feel Broken You don’t have to leap from disinterest to passion overnight. What if you started with just an inch in the direction of intimacy? A kiss. A caress. A flirty smile. That’s it. Then maybe next time, a little more. Intimacy doesn’t have to be all or nothing. It’s a dance. A progression. A fluid rhythm between two people who are learning how to love and be loved. Biblical Boundaries for Sex—and the Freedom Within Them I’ve seen it time and again—wives who once hated sex now pursue it with confidence and joy. Not because they’ve become someone they’re not, but because they’ve allowed God to rewrite their story. You don’t have to live stuck in shame, apathy, or duty. You were made for more. You were made for joy. You were made to receive pleasure—and not just physical pleasure, but the peace and playfulness that come from deep connection. You can laugh, relax, and actually look forward to physical intimacy. Even if you’re post-menopausal. Even if you’ve been through trauma. Even if you feel like you’re the one who’s “just not into it.” God can change it. He’s done it in me. He’s done it in hundreds of wives I’ve coached. And He can do it in you. With love & hope, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - For more information on the Connection Sessions mentioned in the podcast, check out Delight Your Marriage: Connection Sessions. PPS - To learn more about our research on Biblical boundaries in marital intimacy, please visit Delight Your Marriage: Boundaries in Sex. PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "So much of my prayer time was trying to pray for my hubs and me and us in our marriage and lamenting over the state of our marriage...it was so hard for me to engage in intimacy with my husband...Most times I just had to turn off my heart and pray and power through, which only served to make me even more avoidant of it...[Now,] I don't feel like I need a brick wall to protect my heart from my husband...Intimacy feels like a safe place...It's not intimacy's 'for him', it's ALWAYS intimacy for 'us'."
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    28 min

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