Are you feeling stuck in a cycle of burnout, constantly giving and never taking time for yourself? In this episode, I dive into the concept of *wanting*—why so many of us, especially women, lose touch with our own desires and how to reclaim them.

We’ve been taught that being the “good girl” means putting everyone else first, but at what cost? I explore the impact of this mindset, the necessity of rest, and how learning to prioritize yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

I also share insights from my own life, from skating as an adult to teaching spin class, and what they reveal about growth, failure, and nervous system regulation. Plus, I give you a sneak peek into next week’s episode, where we’ll talk even more about breaking free from outdated expectations.

✨ **Follow me on Instagram (@theamandahess) and TikTok for more insights.** Ready for deeper support? Book a free discovery call at [amandahess.ca](http://amandahess.ca).

🔹 **(00:00) – Welcome & Life Updates**

I’m getting ready for a trip to Puerto Rico for a business mastermind and reflecting on how exciting (and exhausting) travel can be.

🔹 **(02:15) – Why So Many of Us Stop Wanting**

As we move through life, we often stop prioritizing what *we* want. Instead, we live in a performative way, following the expectations placed upon us.

🔹 **(05:30) – The Epidemic of Burnout & Over-Giving**

Women are taught to give endlessly—our time, energy, and love. But where does that leave *us*? If you’re feeling exhausted, it’s time to take a step back and reassess.

🔹 **(08:10) – The Role of Nervous System Regulation in Change**

Figuring out what you want requires stepping outside of your comfort zone, which can be unsettling. That’s why nervous system regulation is *key* to making lasting shifts.

🔹 **(11:20) – A Client’s Story: The Travel Trailer vs. The Boat**

A powerful real-life example of how we unconsciously say no to ourselves in order to accommodate others—and how that can slowly erode our sense of self.

🔹 **(14:35) – Why You Need Intentional Time for Yourself**

You can’t figure out what you want by cramming self-care into the cracks of your day. Intentional time is essential to reconnecting with yourself.

🔹 **(17:10) – The Finish Line Myth: You’re Already Enough**

We often think we’ll be “enough” once we achieve certain milestones. But what if the real goal is realizing *you’re already enough* just as you are?

🔹 **(19:45) – Sneak Peek: My Conversation with Maggie Reyes**

Next week, I’ll be sharing a conversation with my former marriage coach, Maggie Reyes. She shares a game-changing mindset shift: treating yourself as if you were one of your kids—prioritizing *your* needs just as much as you prioritize theirs.

🔹 **(21:00) – Final Thoughts & Next Steps**

What would it take for you to prioritize yourself today? If you’re feeling stuck, coaching might be the next step. DM me on Instagram (@theamandahess) or book a free discovery call at [amandahess.ca](http://amandahess.ca).

---

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📌 **Save this episode** if you need to hear this message again—and make sure to tune in next week for my conversation with Maggie Reyes!

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In this episode, I’m breaking down the key differences between coaching and therapy—a topic that often confuses people. While both provide emotional support, they serve very different purposes. Coaching is action-oriented, focused on shifting your mindset, regulating emotions, and taking steps toward real change, whereas therapy tends to focus more on deep emotional processing and past traumas.

If you’ve ever wondered whether coaching is right for you or how it differs from therapy, this episode will give you the clarity you need!

🔹 Want to experience coaching firsthand? Join my upcoming masterclass for just $10 at joinamanda.ca.

[00:00] - Introduction

• Why I felt called to record this episode.
• The common misunderstanding between coaching and therapy.

[02:15] - Why People Seek Coaching & How It Compares to Therapy

• Many women come to coaching feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or emotionally dysregulated.
• Coaching is not cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), though they have some overlaps.

[05:30] - What Coaching Looks Like in Practice

• The first step in coaching is creating emotional safety.
• I help clients regulate their nervous system so they can start thinking more clearly.
• Simple tools like breathwork, movement, sensory engagement, and scheduling self-care.

[09:45] - The Shift from Emotional Regulation to Thought Work

• Coaching helps you change how you think—not just what you think.
• We begin questioning deeply ingrained beliefs that are keeping you stuck.
• The difference between coaching and therapy: coaching is solution-focused and actionable.

[14:00] - How Social Conditioning Holds Women Back

• Many of us have been taught to prioritize others’ needs over our own.
• People-pleasing, overworking, and feeling like life is a performance rather than something you truly live.
• How coaching helps you break free from these patterns and create a life that feels aligned.

[18:30] - Why Questioning Your Thoughts Is the Key to Transformation

• Most of us believe our thoughts are absolute truths, but they’re just perspectives.
• When we start questioning what we think is “right” or “necessary,” we unlock real change.
• Coaching teaches you to reshape your mindset so you can take control of your life.

[22:00] - Closing Thoughts & Next Steps

• The power of coaching in shifting your mindset and daily experience.
• Want to dive deeper? Join my upcoming masterclass for just $10 at joinamanda.ca.
• Connect with me on Instagram & TikTok (@TheAmandaHess) or book a free consult at amandahess.ca/bookacall.

In this episode, I dive into the topic of self-worth, something I surprisingly haven’t covered in depth before—despite this being my 245th episode! I reflect on my podcast journey and how over 130,000 listeners have tuned in, which is incredible.

We often feel like we’re not enough, whether in relationships, careers, or personal growth. But the truth is, self-worth is intrinsic—it’s something we are born with, not something we have to earn. The challenge is not about proving our worth but learning how to navigate fear, self-doubt, and emotions so they don’t hold us back.

I share how shifting our perspective on self-worth can transform our confidence and overall experience of life. Instead of trying to “feel good enough,” we should focus on processing emotions, balancing our inner world, and taking action despite fear.

If this resonates with you, I’m hosting a confidence masterclass on February 11th to go even deeper into these ideas. You can register at joinamanda.ca. Let’s build the life we truly want—without questioning our worth.

Tune in and let’s talk self-worth!

• Amanda reflects on reaching 245 podcast episodes and how over 130,000 people have listened.
• She realizes she’s never done a full episode on self-worth before, which surprises her.
• Welcomes both new and returning listeners.

• Many women struggle with feeling “not good enough.”
• Self-worth influences confidence, happiness, and fulfillment in life.
• A common belief: “I don’t feel like I have self-worth” → This thinking keeps us stuck.

• Self-worth is intrinsic—it’s not something we earn, prove, or lose.
• Example: A newborn baby has full worth despite doing nothing—why wouldn’t that be true for adults?
• Key takeaway: We don’t have to search for or create self-worth—it’s already there.

• Many people chase self-worth through:
  • Productivity & success
  • Relationships & approval
  • Physical appearance & achievements
• But when is it ever enough? The cycle never ends because we’re looking in the wrong place.

• People often say, “I’m not starting because I don’t feel good enough.”
• The real issue is fear of failure, rejection, or uncertainty.
• Example: Dating fears → It’s not about self-worth but about learning to navigate emotions like fear and uncertainty.

• You don’t need more self-worth—you need to get comfortable with discomfort.
• Confidence comes from:
  • Feeling fear and taking action anyway.
  • Learning to regulate emotions.
  • Trusting yourself to handle challenges.
• The key is not avoiding fear but learning to process it.

• Feeling “not enough” leads to feeling powerless.
• Instead of trying to feel worthy, ask: “What do I actually want, and how do I get there?”
• Learning to navigate emotions like fear, frustration, and overwhelm leads to real confidence.

• You already have self-worth—you don’t need to prove it.
• The real work is learning how to navigate emotions and take action despite fear.
• If this resonates, join the Confidence Masterclass on February 11th to dive deeper.
  • Register at: joinamanda.ca
  • Time: 5 PM PST / 8 PM EST
  • Cost: $9.95 USD
• Final message: You are already enough—now, let’s focus on creating the life you want.

Have you ever felt stuck because of the labels you or others have placed on you? In this episode, we’re taking a deep dive into how labels shape our lives—for better or worse.

Labels can offer clarity, community, and tools for growth, but they can also hold us back when we use them to justify staying stuck. Together, we’ll unpack why our brains love labels, how to recognize when they’re helping versus hurting, and the steps you can take to break free from limiting beliefs.

This episode is packed with actionable insights to help you shift your mindset, regulate your emotions, and create a life that feels fulfilling and aligned—no matter what challenges or labels you’re navigating. Whether it’s ADHD, dyslexia, or the dreaded “people pleaser” identity, I’ll show you how to turn your labels into stepping stones instead of roadblocks.

💡 Ready to dive deeper? Join me for my masterclass on January 30th to learn how to build confidence, self-esteem, and emotional resilience. Grab your spot at joinamanda.ca.

📞 Or book a free discovery call with me at amandahess.ca/bookacall.

Let’s rewrite your story—one empowering step at a time.

[00:01] Introduction

• Why labels are such a significant topic and how they often impact my clients’ results.
• The invitation to listen with an open heart and curiosity.

[02:45] The Human Brain’s Need for Efficiency

• How our brains naturally create and use labels to categorize information.
• Understanding subconscious vs. conscious brain activity.

[07:10] How Labels Serve Us

• Labels as tools for understanding ourselves and finding community.
• Examples: ADHD, ASD, and dyslexia—what they reveal and how they can guide us.

[14:30] When Labels Hold Us Back

• The dangers of over-identifying with labels and how they limit potential.
• Why “I can’t do this because of [label]” is a thought, not a fact.

[21:00] Emotional Responsibility and Regulation

• The importance of taking charge of your emotional well-being.
• Practical tips for handling overwhelm, procrastination, and executive dysfunction.

[28:45] Rewriting the Narrative

• Shifting from “this is just how I am” to “this is something I can work with.”
• Personal examples of how I’ve navigated labels like sensitivity and depression.

[34:20] Individuality Beyond Labels

• Why no two people are exactly the same, even within shared labels.
• How to embrace your unique personality while working through challenges.

[38:55] Practical Coaching Insights

• How to dissect specific struggles (e.g., procrastination, people-pleasing) for tailored solutions.
• The importance of nervous system regulation and intentional self-coaching.

[47:10] Final Thoughts and Encouragement

• Why nothing about you is permanent and everything is figureoutable.
• A reminder to use labels as tools for empowerment, not barriers to success.

[50:30] Ways to Work With Me

• Masterclass: Join me on January 30th at 5 PM PST / 8 PM EST for an interactive session on building confidence and self-esteem. Sign up at joinamanda.ca.
• Discovery Calls: Book a free call at amandahess.ca/bookacall to explore personalized coaching options.

Let’s break free from limiting labels and create a life that truly reflects your potential.

Don’t forget to leave a review if you enjoyed this episode—it helps me reach more amazing women like you! See you next week!

In this episode, I’m breaking down the truth about confidence—what it really is, why it’s so important, and how you can create it in your life. Confidence isn’t something you’re born with; it’s something you build by starting, failing, and learning along the way. I’ll share my own journey from fear to confidence, why resilience matters, and how to move forward even when it’s uncomfortable. If you’ve been waiting to feel confident before taking bold steps, this episode will show you why you don’t have to wait anymore.

[00:00] - Welcome and Topic Introduction

• I start by talking about one of my favorite coaching topics: confidence.
• I explain what confidence really is, why it’s essential, and how you can create it in your life.

[03:10] - The Human Need for Confidence

• Confidence isn’t just nice to have—it’s a human necessity for fulfillment and satisfaction.
• It’s that feeling you get when you believe you can do something well.

[06:45] - Confidence in New Challenges

• When people want to make big changes in their lives, the one emotion they feel they need most is confidence.
• I share examples like public speaking, asking for a raise, and dating authentically to show how confidence impacts everything we do.

[10:00] - Understanding Confidence

• Confidence comes from competence—knowing how to do something well.
• I explain how competence is built through practice, learning, and persistence.

[15:30] - The Process of Building Confidence

1. Start, even if it’s scary.
2. Embrace failure as a necessary step in learning.
3. Reevaluate what’s working and try again.
4. Competence grows over time, and so does confidence.

[20:45] - My Journey to Confidence

• I share a personal story about starting a direct sales career while battling nerves and fear.
• Through consistent practice and persistence, I built confidence by becoming competent in what I was doing.

[28:00] - Navigating Fear and Building Resilience

• Confidence isn’t about being fearless—it’s about learning to navigate fear.
• Building resilience and emotional capacity helps you push through discomfort and setbacks.

[33:20] - Practical Takeaways

• Think about the areas where you want to grow your confidence: relationships, career, finances, or something else.
• Start small, shift your mindset, and take intentional actions toward your goals.
• Confidence comes from building resilience and creating competence.

[39:15] - Upcoming Confidence Training

• I’m hosting a two-hour live training where I’ll teach you:
  • Why confidence is essential.
  • What blocks it.
  • How to create it for yourself.
• You can register at joinamanda.ca.

[41:00] - Closing Thoughts

• Confidence is the key to living a fulfilled, joyful life, and it’s something you can create.
• If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review—it helps the podcast grow and reach more women.
• If you need personalized support, book a free consult at amandahess.ca/bookacall.

Tune in next week for another empowering episode!

[0:00] Welcome and Introduction

[2:00] Why Ryanne Chose Coaching

Ryanne explains how she felt unsettled and overwhelmed before starting coaching.

She shares her experiences with therapy, which helped her understand her past but left her feeling stuck without tools to move forward.

After a friend’s recommendation and realizing her nervous system was out of balance, she decided to give coaching a try.

[6:30] Early Days of Coaching

Ryanne talks about the first steps we took together, focusing on managing anxiety and finding small coping mechanisms that worked for her.

She discovered sensory tools, like essential oils, which became a key part of her calming routine.

We shifted the focus from revisiting the past to creating strategies to move forward.

[12:15] Emotional Regulation and Self-Compassion

I explain how we worked on recognizing and riding emotional waves without judgment.

Ryanne reflects on learning self-compassion and how changing her inner dialogue made a significant difference.

We discuss the importance of separating emotions from reactions and becoming an observer of our feelings.

[18:45] Anxiety and Self-Acceptance

Ryanne shares her experience with anxiety and being diagnosed with ADHD.

I helped her reframe anxiety as a sign of care rather than a flaw or something to eliminate.

She explains how tools like journaling and nervous system regulation gave her space to navigate emotions and grow.

[25:00] Relationships and Triggers

We talk about how anxiety often shows up in relationships, triggering reactions tied to past experiences.

Ryanne shares how she learned to manage her emotions, communicate better, and regain clarity in her relationships.

[30:45] Building Confidence and the Snowball Effect

Ryanne discusses how small, consistent steps built her confidence over time.

I explain the importance of viewing self-growth as a process, not a destination.

She highlights how prioritizing physical health, like working out and eating nutritious food, supported her emotional well-being.

[38:30] Achieving Professional and Financial Goals

Ryanne shares how she hit a financial goal during our time working together.

She talks about shifting her mindset from dread to excitement in her career.

We worked on balancing her emotional bandwidth while staying motivated and productive.

[45:15] Self-Love and Acceptance

Ryanne reflects on how coaching helped her reconnect with her authentic self and embrace her strengths.

I remind listeners that they don’t need to become someone else—they already are enough. It’s about revealing and embracing who they truly are.

[50:30] The Transformation Process

Ryanne shares how coaching helped her feel less frantic and more grounded.

She talks about how small steps led to big changes, making her self-talk more positive and her confidence more natural.

I emphasize the importance of celebrating progress and being patient with yourself.

[56:00] Closing Thoughts

Ryanne encourages anyone considering coaching to take the leap, even if it feels like a small step.

I express my gratitude for Ryanne sharing her story and remind listeners how transformative coaching can be.

[58:30] Call to Action

I invite listeners who relate to Ryanne’s journey to book a call with me at amandahess.ca

I share that we can explore what’s going on for them and start working toward transformation.

[59:00] Wrap-Up

[00:00] **Why I’m Sharing This Episode**

- I recorded this episode on January 1st for my private, client-only podcast.

- I’m sharing it here so you can get a feel for my day-to-day support and also to highlight the core message on shifting from goal-setting to vision creation.

- I’m hosting a **90-minute Emotional Mastery Workshop** on January 8th, 2025, where I’ll guide attendees to:

- Reclaim control of their emotions and thoughts.

- Align with their deepest desires.

- Wake up daily with confidence, clarity, and joy.

- This workshop is open to only 10 people, so anyone interested can sign up at joinamanda.ca

[03:30] **My Reflection on 2025**

- I’m amazed that we’re already in 2025 and how time seems to fly.

- I want to shift the focus from typical goal-setting to **vision creation** because I find it more effective, fulfilling, and less anxiety-inducing.

[04:15] **Why I Favor Vision Creation Over Goal Setting**

- **Traditional Goal Setting** often makes us tie our self-worth to the outcome. If I meet the goal, I’m “good enough,” and if I don’t, I’m not.

- In my own life, I’ve gone to extremes when I was strictly “goal-oriented”—like unhealthy weight-loss methods—just to hit a target.

- **Vision Creation**, on the other hand, centers on the experience I want to cultivate and the values I want to honor.

[08:45] **How I Approach Vision Creation**

1. **Start with Emotions**:

- I ask myself which emotions I want to prioritize this year (e.g., peace, joy, satisfaction, love).

- These emotions become the foundation for my choices and actions.

2. **Align Goals with Values**:

- If satisfaction and joy are my priorities, I’ll check whether my goals—say, earning a certain amount of money—fit with these emotions.

- My actions will then be powered by feelings that are sustainable, rather than driven by anxiety or external pressure.

[12:00] **Decoupling Self-Worth from Achievements**

- I remind myself that my value as a person isn’t dependent on hitting a specific milestone.

- When I create a vision, I keep my self-worth separate from the final outcome. This frees me from burnout and fosters genuine growth.

[14:15] **Practical Steps for Vision Creation**

- I reflect on questions like:

- *What are the emotions I want to feel every day in 2025?*

- *What values guide the life I’m building?*

- *How can I take actions that align with these emotions and values?*

- This process gives me a sense of control, clarity, and consistent momentum.

[16:45] **My Offer to Help**

- If you’re my client, feel free to bring this up in our next session. I’d love to dive deeper and create a personalized vision for you.

- If you’re not a client but have access to this podcast, I invite you to book a **discovery call** at amandahess.ca. It’s a great way to explore how we can work together on your vision.

[18:00] **Closing & Call to Action**

- I encourage you to review these steps and start crafting your 2025 vision.

- Please consider leaving a review—it helps my podcast reach more people who need this message.

- If you’re ready to stop managing stress and anxiety alone, book a free consult with me at amandahess.ca

**Happy New Year, and here’s to a fulfilling and vision-driven 2025!**