Struggling to connect with your spouse? Join Chip to learn how communication skills can resolve frustration and reflect God’s love in your marriage.

How to effectively communicate:

I. The command – Put on the proper attire -Colossians 3:12

1. COMPASSION – Empathy to action vs. cynical -Matthew 9:36
2. KINDNESS – Whatever is helpful, beneficial vs. critical -Jeremiah 9:23-24, John 4
3. HUMILITY – Their needs first, posture of a servant -Philippians 2:5-11
4. GENTLENESS – Strength under control, your emotions -Matthew 11:28-30
5. PATIENCE – Endure with a good attitude -2 Peter 3:8-9

II. Why the “clothing” metaphor is crucial to biblical communication

1. “Old clothes” must be taken off. -Colossians 3:8-9
2. The new self requires “new clothes”. -Colossians 3:10-11

The Principle: Who we are determines how we “dress” (communicate from the heart)

III. The problem:

• We have settled for techniques and self-help tools to change how we speak, and to modify our emotions and behaviors to improve compatibility; rather than focusing on the deep-rooted transformation of our hearts which empowers us to give the life-giving love of Christ to our mates.

IV. The solution is threefold:

1. Don’t buy the old lies*

• I am what I have: Possessions
• I am what I accomplish: Performance
• I am what others think of me: Popularity

2. Dress appropriately for your mate

1. A – AFFIRMATION
2. W – WARMTH
3. E – ENCOURAGEMENT

3. Have at least 2 “couples conferences” per week**

1. What are you concerned about?
2. What do you wish?
3. What are you willing to do?

*Discover Your True Self book and Affirmation Cards by Chip Ingram and Theresa Ingram.

**Marriage that Works by Chip Ingram.

Broadcast Resource

• Download MP3
• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• I Choose Love Book
• "The Five Love Languages" Book by Gary Chapman

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• Chip Ingram App
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• 888-333-6003

Tired of misunderstandings? Chip shares how to move past hurt feelings and start having genuine heart-to-heart conversations with your spouse today.

How to effectively communicate:

I. The command – Put on the proper attire -Colossians 3:12

1. COMPASSION – Empathy to action vs. cynical -Matthew 9:36
2. KINDNESS – Whatever is helpful, beneficial vs. critical -Jeremiah 9:23-24, John 4
3. HUMILITY – Their needs first, posture of a servant -Philippians 2:5-11
4. GENTLENESS – Strength under control, your emotions -Matthew 11:28-30
5. PATIENCE – Endure with a good attitude -2 Peter 3:8-9

II. Why the “clothing” metaphor is crucial to biblical communication

1. “Old clothes” must be taken off. -Colossians 3:8-9
2. The new self requires “new clothes”. -Colossians 3:10-11

The Principle: Who we are determines how we “dress” (communicate from the heart)

III. The problem:

• We have settled for techniques and self-help tools to change how we speak, and to modify our emotions and behaviors to improve compatibility; rather than focusing on the deep-rooted transformation of our hearts which empowers us to give the life-giving love of Christ to our mates.

IV. The solution is threefold:

1. Don’t buy the old lies*

• I am what I have: Possessions
• I am what I accomplish: Performance
• I am what others think of me: Popularity

2. Dress appropriately for your mate

1. A – AFFIRMATION
2. W – WARMTH
3. E – ENCOURAGEMENT

3. Have at least 2 “couples conferences” per week**

1. What are you concerned about?
2. What do you wish?
3. What are you willing to do?

*Discover Your True Self book and Affirmation Cards by Chip Ingram and Theresa Ingram.

**Marriage that Works by Chip Ingram.

Broadcast Resource

• Download MP3
• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• I Choose Love Book
• "The Five Love Languages" Book by Gary Chapman

Connect

• 888-333-6003
• Website
• Chip Ingram App
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter

Partner With Us

• Donate Online
• 888-333-6003

It’s safe to say we all want a great marriage. We all desire a relationship with a deep emotional, mental, and physical connection with our mate. But how do we experience that? Don’t miss the practical ways you can build a lasting relationship with your spouse.

How do you develop spiritual intimacy?

I. Spiritual intimacy with Christ is cultivated by actively believing two things:

1. Whose you are: Chosen -Colossians 1:13-22
2. Who you’ve become: Holy and loved -Colossians 2:9-15

II. Spiritual intimacy with your mate is cultivated by recognizing the supremacy Christ’s role and relationship in your marriage. -Colossians 1:15-18

III. The benefits of spiritual intimacy*

• Allows you to CONNECT at the deepest level.
• Links you with God’s PURPOSES and PLANS for you.
• Allows you to BLESS each other with God’s love.
• Brings your deepest values and desires into agreement.
• Opens the door to the deepest levels of COMMUNICATION.
• Empowers your marriage to SURVIVE.
• Connects you to a SUPPORTIVE body of fellow believers.

*Divorce Proof Your Marriage by Gary and Barbara Rosberg, pgs. 254-256.

IV. How to develop your personal spiritual intimacy**

• ASK God for it. -Col. 1:1-9
• BEWARE of counterfeits. -Col. 2:8-10
• GUARD your thought life. -Col. 3:1-4
• KILL spiritual competitors. -Col. 3:5-7
• SATURATE your life in God’s Word. -Col. 3:16

**Marriage that Works by Chip Ingram, specific help and practical steps for men and women; chapter 9 for men and chapter 11 for women.

V. Removing barriers and building bridges for spiritual intimacy

• There is no one right way to develop spiritual intimacy
• Pray together
• Worship together
• Share what you’re learning

Broadcast Resource

• Download MP3
• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• I Choose Love Book
• "Divorce Proof Your Marriage" Book by Gary and Barbara Rosberg

Connect

• 888-333-6003
• Website
• Chip Ingram App
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter

Partner With Us

• Donate Online
• 888-333-6003

It’s hard to believe there are couples who’ve been married for thirty, forty, or even fifty years. So, what’s their secret? In this program, Chip shares a vital message in his ongoing teaching. He begins unpacking four biblical skills all great marriages have in common. Discover how you can improve your relationship today!

How do you develop spiritual intimacy?

I. Spiritual intimacy with Christ is cultivated by actively believing two things:

1. Whose you are: Chosen -Col. 1:13-22
2. Who you’ve become: Holy and loved -Col. 2:9-15

II. Spiritual intimacy with your mate is cultivated by recognizing the supremacy Christ’s role and relationship in your marriage. -Col. 1:15-18

III. The benefits of spiritual intimacy*

• Allows you to CONNECT at the deepest level.
• Links you with God’s PURPOSES and PLANS for you.
• Allows you to BLESS each other with God’s love.
• Brings your deepest values and desires into agreement.
• Opens the door to the deepest levels of COMMUNICATION.
• Empowers your marriage to SURVIVE.
• Connects you to a SUPPORTIVE body of fellow believers.

*Divorce Proof Your Marriage by Gary and Barbara Rosberg, pgs. 254-256.

IV. How to develop your personal spiritual intimacy**

• ASK God for it. -Col. 1:1-9
• BEWARE of counterfeits. -Col. 2:8-10
• GUARD your thought life. -Col. 3:1-4
• KILL spiritual competitors. -Col. 3:5-7
• SATURATE your life in God’s Word. -Col. 3:16

**Marriage that Works by Chip Ingram, specific help and practical steps for men and women; chapter 9 for men and chapter 11 for women.

V. Removing barriers and building bridges for spiritual intimacy

• There is no one right way to develop spiritual intimacy
• Pray together
• Worship together
• Share what you’re learning

Broadcast Resource

• Download MP3
• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• I Choose Love Book
• "Divorce Proof Your Marriage" Book by Gary and Barbara Rosberg

Connect

• 888-333-6003
• Website
• Chip Ingram App
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter

Partner With Us

• Donate Online
• 888-333-6003

It’s hard to believe there are couples who’ve been married for thirty, forty, or even fifty years. So, what’s their secret? Chip emphasizes the importance of couples cultivating spiritual intimacy, which is the first of four biblical skills he'll share in this teaching. You won't wanna miss it!

How do you develop spiritual intimacy?

I. Spiritual intimacy with Christ is cultivated by actively believing two things:

1. Whose you are: Chosen -Colossians 1:13-22
2. Who you’ve become: Holy and loved -Colossians 2:9-15

II. Spiritual intimacy with your mate is cultivated by recognizing the supremacy Christ’s role and relationship in your marriage. -Colossians 1:15-18

III. The benefits of spiritual intimacy*

• Allows you to CONNECT at the deepest level.
• Links you with God’s PURPOSES and PLANS for you.
• Allows you to BLESS each other with God’s love.
• Brings your deepest values and desires into agreement.
• Opens the door to the deepest levels of COMMUNICATION.
• Empowers your marriage to SURVIVE.
• Connects you to a SUPPORTIVE body of fellow believers.

*Divorce Proof Your Marriage by Gary and Barbara Rosberg, pgs. 254-256.

IV. How to develop your personal spiritual intimacy**

• ASK God for it. -Col. 1:1-9
• BEWARE of counterfeits. -Col. 2:8-10
• GUARD your thought life. -Col. 3:1-4
• KILL spiritual competitors. -Col. 3:5-7
• SATURATE your life in God’s Word. -Col. 3:16

**Marriage that Works by Chip Ingram, specific help and practical steps for men and women; chapter 9 for men and chapter 11 for women.

V. Removing barriers and building bridges for spiritual intimacy

• There is no one right way to develop spiritual intimacy
• Pray together
• Worship together
• Share what you’re learning

Broadcast Resource

• Download MP3
• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• I Choose Love Book
• "Divorce Proof Your Marriage" Book by Gary and Barbara Rosberg

Connect

• 888-333-6003
• Website
• Chip Ingram App
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter

Partner With Us

• Donate Online
• 888-333-6003

Do you find yourself living in a marriage full of unspoken tension? You’re polite and all, but there’s no honest sharing or compassion? In this final program of the series, Chip shares a tool that walks you step-by-step, through a communication process that’ll free you from the past, free you from the guilt, and free you from the history that’s holding your relationship hostage.

Three major reasons we have shame:

1. A theological reason – we ALL have shame.
2. Shame from things DONE to us.
3. Shame of things that we DO.

Three natural responses:

1. To HIDE.
2. To NUMB the pain.
3. To COMPENSATE.

John 21:1-19

Principles:

1. Jesus MEETS us where we are.
2. Jesus gently DEMANDS that we face the truth about ourselves.
3. Jesus AFFIRMS our value and our worthiness by commissioning us to service.

Practical implications:

1. You can’t forgive your mate until you have RECEIVED both forgiveness and restoration. -Ephesians 4:32
2. EXPERIENCE God’s forgiveness and restoration.
3. Freely GIVE what you have received.

Tools for transformation:

D – DEFINE the issue clearly.

E – ENTER the pain and hurt.

F – Ask for FORGIVENESS.

U – UNDERSTAND the process.

• Phase 1: Forgive
• Phase 2: Forgiving
• Phase 3: Forgiven

S – SET things right between you.

• Own your responsibility
• Confess: “I was wrong.”
• Ask: “Will you forgive me?”
• Answer: “Yes, I forgive you.”

E – ESTABLISH a specific game plan to move forward.

Broadcast Resource

• Download MP3
• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• I Choose Love Book

Connect

• 888-333-6003
• Website
• Chip Ingram App
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter

Partner With Us

• Donate Online
• 888-333-6003

Does your past haunt you? Do you find it hard to forgive your spouse because, if the truth were known, you can’t forgive yourself? Do you let him or her come only so close and then they hit the wall you’ve put up? Chip wants you to know there’s a way to take a brick off that wall - and then another - and another. He wants you to know Jesus offers a solution to the guilt that’s robbing you of a healthy marriage. You don’t want to miss this one.

Three major reasons we have shame:

1. A theological reason – we ALL have shame.
2. Shame from things DONE to us.
3. Shame of things that we DO.

Three natural responses:

1. To HIDE.
2. To NUMB the pain.
3. To COMPENSATE.

John 21:1-19

Principles:

1. Jesus MEETS us where we are.
2. Jesus gently DEMANDS that we face the truth about ourselves.
3. Jesus AFFIRMS our value and our worthiness by commissioning us to service.

Practical implications:

1. You can’t forgive your mate until you have RECEIVED both forgiveness and restoration. -Ephesians 4:32
2. EXPERIENCE God’s forgiveness and restoration.
3. Freely GIVE what you have received.

Tools for transformation:

D – DEFINE the issue clearly.

E – ENTER the pain and hurt.

F – Ask for FORGIVENESS.

U – UNDERSTAND the process.

• Phase 1: Forgive
• Phase 2: Forgiving
• Phase 3: Forgiven

S – SET things right between you.

• Own your responsibility
• Confess: “I was wrong.”
• Ask: “Will you forgive me?”
• Answer: “Yes, I forgive you.”

E – ESTABLISH a specific game plan to move forward.

Broadcast Resource

• Download MP3
• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• I Choose Love Book

Connect

• 888-333-6003
• Website
• Chip Ingram App
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter

Partner With Us

• Donate Online
• 888-333-6003

When love isn’t enough to hold a marriage together, what is? In this message, Chip shares what we all know about ourselves but are often unwilling to face or admit. The truth he brings has the power to shore up an unstable relationship, mend damaged souls that think there’s no hope, and bring life back to a marriage that’s been dead for years. If you think you’re too far gone, Chip’s going to tell you you’re not. There really is a way to find the joy and peace you’re longing for in your marriage.

Three major reasons we have shame:

1. A theological reason – we ALL have shame.
2. Shame from things DONE to us.
3. Shame of things that we DO.

Three natural responses:

1. To HIDE.
2. To NUMB the pain.
3. To COMPENSATE.

John 21:1-19

Principles:

1. Jesus MEETS us where we are.
2. Jesus gently DEMANDS that we face the truth about ourselves.
3. Jesus AFFIRMS our value and our worthiness by commissioning us to service.

Practical implications:

1. You can’t forgive your mate until you have RECEIVED both forgiveness and restoration. -Ephesians 4:32
2. EXPERIENCE God’s forgiveness and restoration.
3. Freely GIVE what you have received.

Tools for transformation:

D – DEFINE the issue clearly.

E – ENTER the pain and hurt.

F – Ask for FORGIVENESS.

U – UNDERSTAND the process.

• Phase 1: Forgive
• Phase 2: Forgiving
• Phase 3: Forgiven

S – SET things right between you.

• Own your responsibility
• Confess: “I was wrong.”
• Ask: “Will you forgive me?”
• Answer: “Yes, I forgive you.”

E – ESTABLISH a specific game plan to move forward.

Broadcast Resource

• Download MP3
• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• I Choose Love Book

Connect

• 888-333-6003
• Website
• Chip Ingram App
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter

Partner With Us

• Donate Online
• 888-333-6003