What is the single biggest source of conflict in your marriage right now? Join Chip as he teaches you how to fight fair in marriage.

What I learned on the sandlot from the “Barnes Boys”

• Conflict is normal, it's an opportunity for growth, it must be diffused or it will destroy, and it demands rules so no one gets hurt

God’s perspective on conflict:

• Conflict is inevitable in a fallen world. -Jn. 16:33
• Conflict flows from our differences and our selfishness. -Jms. 4:1-3
• Conflict is an opportunity for growth. -Phil. 2:1-4

The most common communication styles:

1. Turtles: The goal is to avoid.
2. Sharks: The goal is to win.

How to diffuse conflict in your marriage:

• D: DEFINE the problem (on your own). -Pr. 15:14
• I: INITIATE a time to talk. -Matt. 5:23-24
• F: FOCUS on the “perceived” problem, not the person. -Pr. 18:19
• F: FEEL their pain. -Pr. 17:17
• U: UNCOVER the root problem. -Pr. 20:5
• S: SET things right between you. -Jms. 5:16
• E: ESTABLISH a specific action plan that addresses the issue discussed. -Jms. 1:22-25

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What is the single biggest source of conflict in your marriage right now? Join Chip as he teaches you how to fight fair in marriage.

What I learned on the sandlot from the “Barnes Boys”

• Conflict is normal, it's an opportunity for growth, it must be diffused or it will destroy, and it demands rules so no one gets hurt

God’s perspective on conflict:

• Conflict is inevitable in a fallen world. -Jn. 16:33
• Conflict flows from our differences and our selfishness. -Jms. 4:1-3
• Conflict is an opportunity for growth. -Phil. 2:1-4

The most common communication styles:

1. Turtles: The goal is to avoid.
2. Sharks: The goal is to win.

How to diffuse conflict in your marriage:

• D: DEFINE the problem (on your own). -Pr. 15:14
• I: INITIATE a time to talk. -Matt. 5:23-24
• F: FOCUS on the “perceived” problem, not the person. -Pr. 18:19
• F: FEEL their pain. -Pr. 17:17
• U: UNCOVER the root problem. -Pr. 20:5
• S: SET things right between you. -Jms. 5:16
• E: ESTABLISH a specific action plan that addresses the issue discussed. -Jms. 1:22-25

Broadcast Resource

• Download Free MP3
• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• Marriage Truth Cards Offer
• "Uninvited Guests" Resources

Connect

• 888-333-6003
• Website
• Chip Ingram App
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• Facebook
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Partner With Us

• Donate Online
• 888-333-6003

In this message, Chip explains how you can improve the communication in your marriage. Communication is the highway on which love travels. Chip shares how you can start building your own relational super highway.

Understanding the communication process:

Definition: The meeting of MEANINGS.

• “Communication is the privilege of exchanging vulnerabilities.” -Norman Wright
• “Communication is the process of sharing yourself verbally and nonverbally in such a way that the other person can both accept and understand what you are saying.” -Norman Wright

The complete message

• Words alone = 7% of meaning
• Tone of voice = 38% of meaning
• Facial expression, gestures, posture, total non-verbal = 55% of meaning

5 Principles that will transform communication in your home:

1. BE HONEST - Speak the truth in love. -Ephesians 4:15, 25
2. BE ANGRY- Deal with anger appropriately. -Ephesians 4:26-27
3. BE DILIGENT - Work hard on your relationship. -Ephesians 4:28
4. BE POSITIVE - Don’t wound with your words. -Ephesians 4:29-31
5. BE FORGIVING - Be the first to say, “I’m sorry.” -Ephesians 4:32

Practical skills and suggestions to enhance communication in your home:

• The conference - A tool for listening. Ask Three Questions:

1. What are you concerned about?
2. What do you desire?
3. What are you willing to do?

• Word pictures - A tool for understanding
• “Care” lists - A tool for building: List seven simple, loving, “caring behaviors” that are non-conflict producing and not expensive that make you feel loved by your spouse.

Broadcast Resource

• Download Free MP3
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This message focuses on a candid look at communication. If you want to learn how to improve the communication in your marriage, to share hearts instead of just exchanging words, then join Chip.

Understanding the communication process:

Definition: The meeting of MEANINGS.

• “Communication is the privilege of exchanging vulnerabilities.” -Norman Wright
• “Communication is the process of sharing yourself verbally and nonverbally in such a way that the other person can both accept and understand what you are saying.” -Norman Wright

The complete message

• Words alone = 7% of meaning
• Tone of voice = 38% of meaning
• Facial expression, gestures, posture, total non-verbal = 55% of meaning

5 Principles that will transform communication in your home:

1. BE HONEST - Speak the truth in love. -Ephesians 4:15, 25
2. BE ANGRY- Deal with anger appropriately. -Ephesians 4:26-27
3. BE DILIGENT - Work hard on your relationship. -Ephesians 4:28
4. BE POSITIVE - Don’t wound with your words. -Ephesians 4:29-31
5. BE FORGIVING - Be the first to say, “I’m sorry.” -Ephesians 4:32

Practical skills and suggestions to enhance communication in your home:

• The conference - A tool for listening. Ask Three Questions:

1. What are you concerned about?
2. What do you desire?
3. What are you willing to do?

• Word pictures - A tool for understanding
• “Care” lists - A tool for building: List seven simple, loving, “caring behaviors” that are non-conflict producing and not expensive that make you feel loved by your spouse.

Broadcast Resource

• Download Free MP3
• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• Marriage Truth Cards Offer
• "Uninvited Guests" Resources

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• 888-333-6003
• Website
• Chip Ingram App
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• Donate Online
• 888-333-6003

Have you ever forgiven someone who hurt you, only to have resentful feelings begin to fester a short time later? How does that scenario change when it is your spouse who caused you pain? In this program, Chip explains why forgiveness is a powerful skill couples need to harness. Learn about the dangers of unresolved conflict in relationships and the freedom that comes when you genuinely say, “I forgive you.”

Introduction:

• The foundation of a great family begins with a deep, intimate marriage.

Three skills for a great marriage:

• Skill #1: FORGIVING
• Skill #2: COMMUNICATION
• Skill #3: RESOLVING CONFLICT

Forgiveness – What it’s not and what it is:

• Forgiveness is NOT a quick fix or an excuse to be a “doormat” by repeatedly accepting hurtful behavior without addressing the root issues
• Forgiveness IS a spiritual discipline that involves three distinct parts:

1. It’s a DECISION
2. It’s a PROCESS
3. It actually is ACCOMPLISHED

The parable of the unforgiving servant:

• Matthew 18:21-35

Three-part method for forgiveness:

1. Act: Choose to forgive.
2. Process: Actively pray and bless the person with your words and actions.
3. Accomplished: The true test of forgiveness is when you can genuinely rejoice in the other person’s success and well-being.

Broadcast Resource

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In Genesis 2, we read about how God uniquely created men and women. Those differences can loom so large at times that it is almost as if the sexes are from entirely different planets. In this program, Chip explains how couples can bridge the gap between each other to communicate effectively, understand each other’s needs, and navigate challenges together. Discover how to have a thriving, God-honoring relationship with your spouse.

Foundational Marriage Truths

Foundational truth #4 (for men):

• I will choose to LOVE my wife today in a SPECIFIC and SACRIFICIAL way that is meaningful to her. She is God’s gift to me and I will CHERISH her just as Christ loves His bride, the Church.

Key verse:

• Ephesians 5:28-29

Foundational truth #5 (for women):

• I will choose to ENCOURAGE and RESPECT my husband today in a specific and sacrificial way that is meaningful to him. He is God’s gift to me and I will BUILD HIM UP with my words and actions for the glory of Christ.

Key verse:

• Proverbs 31:10-12

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Every marriage experiences conflict, tragedies, and adversity. The question is: will you and your spouse allow those hardships to be deal-breakers or heart-makers in your relationship? In this program, Chip dispels the illusion that marriage is a care-free journey, without bumps in the road. He reveals that–contrary to popular belief–challenges and suffering are not signs of trouble in your marriage, but an opportunity to deepen your intimacy with your mate.

Introduction:

• Marriage is an UNCONDITIONAL commitment to an IMPERFECT person.

Review:

Foundational Truth #1:

• You can’t live this life without the supernatural power of God, so following Jesus personally is the number one priority.

Foundational Truth #2:

• You must choose to love your mate whether you feel like it or not.

Foundational Marriage Truths

Foundational Truth #3:

• We will have ongoing challenges with communication, sex, finances, parenting, and extended family. These issues are not “DEAL BREAKERS,” they are “HEART MAKERS” as we learn to listen, understand, and follow God’s path.

Key verse:

• James 1:2-5

Foundational Truth #6:

• I will not consider a divorce as an OPTION and I will never threaten my spouse with divorce. I have made a holy and binding COVENANT before God to let nothing undermine our LIFELONG commitment.

Key verse:

• Matthew 19:6-9

Broadcast Resource

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There is no shortage of great podcasts, popular books, and helpful resources to help you strengthen your marriage. But in this program, Chip explains that there’s one simple discipline that, if you commit to it, you will transform your relationship. Listen in to learn what this fundamental habit is and the steps you can follow to make it a daily priority in your life.

Introduction:

God’s original design:

• Marriage was created as a sacred stewardship to reflect the unity and love of the Trinity.

Satan’s agenda:

• To destroy or pervert marriage by telling lies that make it self-centered

Foundational Marriage Truths

Foundational truth #1:

• In my own strength, I am INCAPABLE of being the husband of wife God calls me to be. Therefore, my first priority for a successful marriage is my own vibrant DAILY walk with God. By His Word and His Spirit in community with fellow believers God will give me ALL I need to become a loving and godly husband or wife.

Key verses:

• 2 Peter 1:3-4
• Galatians 2:20

The BIO Acronym:

• B: Before God Daily
• I: In community
• O: On mission

Foundational truth #2:

• I will CHOOSE to love my mate by God’s power and grace in all circumstances. Love is giving another person what they NEED the most, when they DESERVE it the least, at great PERSONAL COST.

Key verse:

• 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Broadcast Resource

• Download Free MP3
• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• Marriage Truth Cards Offer
• "Uninvited Guests" Resources

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• 888-333-6003
• Website
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• Donate Online
• 888-333-6003