I tend to chase the question “why?” rather than “how do I adapt, accept, and move forward despite?”

Why did I have a stroke? Why am I an alcoholic? Why me? But my recovery program teaches me that the why isn’t mine to solve. The “why” belongs to God. My work is in the “how”. How do I move forward? How do I let go? How do I accept the difficult stuff? When I shift from demanding answers to taking action, I find freedom from denial.

Alcohol gave me an illusion of control, offering temporary relief while dry rotting the strings that held me together. Today, I find strength by surrendering to “Thy will, not mine.” Isn’t that weird? I find STRENGTH in SURRENDERING. 🤪

I will likely always be chasing the mystery of “why” around every turn in my life, like a Scooby-Doo rerun. But daily maintenance of my spiritual condition lets me uncover the “how” that guides my next step forward.

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To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#RecoveryJourney #StrokeSurvivor #AlcoholismRecovery #FaithInRecovery #LetGoAndLetGod #StrengthInSurrender #SpiritualGrowth #AcceptanceAndAction #OneDayAtATime #FreedomThroughFaith

How do we know the difference between listening to the deeper, instinct (or gut) voice inside us and the inner chatter of anxiety, people-pleasing, and wishful thinking. I minimize my intuition sometimes or just plain old ignore it. I hear that whisper of caution and then I rationalize it away because the louder voice of instant gratification wins out. Over the years, though, I’ve learned that the whisper deserves my attention. I gain this wisdom through experience, but I can only hear it if I slow down and get quiet.

My practice of writing down my thoughts and then talking them out on my podcast is helping me build a greater understanding of my inner voice. I untangle my fears, old thinking patterns, and the higher guidance I want to trust more fully. I’ve unknowingly been strengthening my inner compass through my daily habit of listening, reflecting, and sharing my recovery out loud. I’m trusting myself more, so when life gets noisy and overwhelming, I can better discern the next right thing.

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To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#RecoveryJourney #TrustYourGut #InnerVoice #SobrietyTools #StrokeRecovery #AnxietyRelief #MindfulLiving #HealingProcess #SpiritualGrowth #PersonalGrowth

We all navigate stuff that no one else can see, yet it shapes our behavior, emotions, and connection with each other. Dizziness, fatigue, brain fog, and chronic pain make simple tasks in my life very difficult. And depression, anxiety, and fear make simple interactions challenging. As I learn to pace myself, honor my body’s limits, and rest in stroke recovery, the inner battles rage on. Creativity, prayer, and tools like spoon-and-cup theory help me walk through each day. Progress comes slowly, and as with mental health care, slow progress is still progress, and consistency brings healing over time.

Our battles are invisible to one another. We don’t see the hours of recovery exercises, the careful planning it takes just to get through a day, or the cost of pushing too hard. And the same goes with mental health. I can spend hours, days, months, and years in torment and never speak a word of it to another human being. The only one suffering is me. That’s why speaking up matters. When I name the fear or feeling and tell another person, I not only weaken its power over me, but I also create opportunity for us to understand each other. Invisible ≠ insignificant.

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To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#InvisibleIllness #StrokeRecovery #MentalHealthAwareness #RecoveryJourney #ChronicPain #BrainFog #Depression #AnxietyRecovery #SpoonTheory #EmotionalSobriety

The St. Francis Prayer, otherwise known as the 11th step prayer in AA, focuses on what I can give rather than what I can get. For so long my vision of life was distorted, like living inside a glass jar. I thought I was seeing clearly, but it wasn’t until I stopped drinking and working this program that I could see what the world is like on the other side of the glass.

When I am intolerant of others, I remember that everyone has had a lifetime of experiences that have led them to where they are today. I need to focus on loving, understanding, and being of service to find freedom within my own heart.

Prayer allows me to express my desires honestly and openly which otherwise I likely wouldn’t tell a soul. In this way, I deepen my connection to those desires which leads to steps toward living them. Prayer is aligning my intentions with my actions and breaking free from the chaos between my ears. It’s how I soften the noise of self-centered thinking and find clarity.

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To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#StFrancisPrayer #11thStep #Step11Prayer #AlcoholicsAnonymous #SobrietyJourney #RecoveryDaily #SpiritualAwakening #FaithInRecovery #SoberLiving #MindfulSobriety #RecoveryTools #EmotionalSobriety

On Friday my stress level peaked, but I’m happy to report I got back up. I had woken up carrying the weight of buying/selling houses, chronic pain, and the devastating news of a loved one’s illness. By the time I sat down to lead in an AA meeting that evening, my emotions detonated. I cried as I spoke about my sobriety, my stroke, my vestibular struggles, and my fear. In that vulnerable moment, words came out of my mouth that I hadn’t spoken with such conviction before, “I can’t do this without AA and without God.”. It was like the ground shifted under me as proof that faith and my sobriety program are the very foundation holding me upright.

In that breaking point I proved to myself once again that showing up exactly as I am, broken, afraid, but willing, is all that’s necessary to take a step forward. Life has not slowed down since Friday, and there are still deadlines, stress, and fear. But I know now that even if it feels like walking through quicksand, I eventually come out the other side.

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To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#SobrietyJourney #FaithInRecovery #AlcoholicsAnonymous #OneDayAtATime #SpiritualAwakening #RecoveryTools #SerenityInSobriety #SobrietySupport #LetGoAndLetGod #StrengthInFaith

I used to get so irritated, angry even, being around people drinking. As I learn more about my disease, I can be honest in saying it came from pure jealousy. Intolerance toward temperate drinkers is my problem, not theirs. As with all things in recovery, this too is a decision to face the feelings or let them threaten my peace. It is not my business to condemn alcohol or those who can enjoy it, but to accept that I cannot. That acceptance frees me to focus on my joy and protect my serenity.

Finding that peace requires constant practice. I’ve learned to pause, to breathe, and to call on faith in moments when resentment starts creeping in. Sometimes that means setting boundaries, like not going to certain events, and other times it means surrendering the emotional reaction itself. Let it go. By leaning on prayer, meditation, and the God of my understanding, I’ve found a way to drop the jealousy and stay calm. Tolerance is choosing serenity over resentment, and faith over an emotional reaction. Practicing this shift has changed how I do life.

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To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#SobrietyJourney #RecoveryTools #FaithInRecovery #SerenityOverResentment #ToleranceInSobriety #OneDayAtATime #AlcoholRecovery #RecoveryCommunity #LetGoAndLetGod #SobrietySupport

I never thought of hiding alcohol in the back of a toilet tank, but the disease led me to hide it just about everywhere else. Just as the disease is progressive, so was my willingness to accept it and to change. I tried to make minimal changes to my lifestyle, and slowly, progressively, my life unraveled into chaos. There was no bit of change that was going to work. I had to change everything. I was dying a slow suicide, screaming on the inside. The unmanageable, invisible internal battle finally broke me open.

For me, surrender meant letting go of old ideas and embracing faith. I kept doing the next wrong thing, chasing a high that always ended in remorse. One evening I stood on a sidewalk in San Francisco desperately trying to not drink, knowing that if I did nobody would know. And at once I stopped in my tracks and turned fully to God, acknowledging that I wasn’t alone and never had been. If I was going to be all in on faith and truly believe that He was always with me, I couldn’t sit across from God with a glass of wine in my hand. From that moment on, my acceptance and willingness became complete. Recovery became a daily choice, and faith turned the chaos in my head into serenity. That’s my miracle. Faith saved my life.

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To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#AlcoholRecovery #FaithInRecovery #SobrietyJourney #AddictionRecovery #SurrenderToWin #RecoveryCommunity #AlcoholismAwareness #SpiritualAwakening #OneDayAtATime #HopeAfterDespair

The secret is out! In nearly all of my dreams, I’m roller skating. Whether it’s through a mall, cruise ship, hotel, or Loudoun County High School, I’m always on skates. I’d like to say it’s symbolic of freedom and forward movement in my life, but the truth is that my subconscious is working around my hip pain while I sleep. I know it’s weird but has become so normal I never shared it with anyone. As I skate through my dreams, the bars are always closed, I’m lost, and I can’t for the life of me remember what classroom I’m supposed to be in. 🤣

On a separate and unrelated topic, gratitude helps me to shift from frustration and impatience to peace with the present moment. I remember when my sponsor first encouraged me to text three gratitudes every day. It took a couple years for it to become a habit, and it became a great way to do my nightly inventory, when paired with Step 10, while squeezing the good out of the day into a text.

Find a gratitude buddy and try it out for a month. I guarantee a lighter mindset before bed, a strengthened connection with your buddy, and resentments begin to quietly fade.

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Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#RecoveryJourney #SobrietyLife #GratitudePractice #DreamsAndRecovery #Step10 #SoberLiving #GratitudeBuddy #OneDayAtATime #EmotionalRecovery #MindsetShift