Hey Doc,

You can stop breastfeeding.

You can stop pumping.

You can know all of the benefits, have enough milk, have a baby who breastfeeds well, and still decide:

I don’t want to do this anymore.

I know that can be an especially complicated decision when you’re a physician.

We know the evidence. We know the recommendations. We know exactly what we’re “supposed” to do.

And when you’re already spending hours away from your baby because of work, breastfeeding can become the thing.

At least I can do this for her.

That was part of my experience with my daughter.

I was making enough milk, but barely. If I didn’t drink enough water, missed a meal, or skipped a pumping session, my supply would drop and I’d spend the next few days trying to catch up.

Everything revolved around producing enough milk.

I made it eight months.

I wanted to make it a year.

And eventually I had to admit that breastfeeding was taking a significant toll on my mental health.

So I stopped.

And the relief was almost immediate.

In this episode, I’m sharing part of an older conversation from the Mom & Mind podcast because I know there is a physician mom somewhere who needs permission to make the decision that is right for her, her baby, and her family.

We talk about:

• How breastfeeding prolonged my postpartum anxiety
• Why pumping felt like its own special form of torture 😂
• The additional pressure physician moms can put on themselves because we know the benefits of breastfeeding
• Why breastfeeding and mental health deserve a much more nuanced conversation
• The guilt that can come with stopping even when you know it’s the right decision
• Why unsolicited advice to “just keep going” can make a struggling mom feel even worse
• How to support another mom without immediately trying to fix her problem

Because sometimes she doesn’t need another suggestion for increasing her supply.

She doesn’t need another supplement, pumping schedule, lactation consultant, or “Have you tried…?”

She might need you to listen.

She might need you to tell her she’s not a bad mom.

She might need someone to say, “It’s okay to stop.”

And if you don’t know what she needs, there is a very simple way to find out:

Ask her.

“What do you need from me right now?”

That question goes far beyond breastfeeding. I use it in my marriage. I use it with my clients. And it can completely change the way we support the people we love.

So if breastfeeding is working beautifully for you, wonderful.

If you love it, wonderful.

And if breastfeeding is making you miserable and you desperately want someone to tell you that you’re allowed to stop:

Doc, you can stop.

You don’t have to suffer to prove that you’re a good mother.

Listen to the episode, and please send this one to the physician mom who needs to hear it.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

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If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc

I love outsourcing.

Cleaning. Childcare. Grocery delivery. The random tasks that somehow require 47 emails and a phone call during business hours.

Please. Take them.

But there is one thing I do not want you to completely outsource:

Knowing what is happening with your money.

In this episode, I’m sharing a conversation I had with Dr. Felecia Froe on the Money with Mission podcast about my own money story.

I grew up in Trinidad and Tobago watching my parents work hard, build businesses, and use their money generously. But nobody sat me down and taught me about investing, taxes, wealth building, or financial independence.

Then I became a physician.

And shockingly, between learning the Krebs cycle and trying to keep actual humans alive, nobody taught me much about money there either.

I eventually started educating myself. I learned about investing. I stopped assuming my financial advisor was performing some kind of financial wizardry. 😂 And I started understanding something that became incredibly important later in my career:

Knowing my financial situation gave me choices.

When I was burned out and miserable in medicine, money mattered.

When I decided not to buy into partnership and walked away from a well-paying job without another job lined up, money mattered.

When I invested $10,000 in my first coaching program and started seeing possibilities for myself outside of traditional medicine, money mattered.

Not because money magically fixes your life.

Because understanding your money gives you information. And information gives you options.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What I learned about money growing up in Trinidad and Tobago
• Why I eventually stopped using a financial advisor and started educating myself
• How my husband and I talk about money together
• Why we’re intentionally teaching our children about money early
• The connection between financial knowledge and my decision to leave a job that was burning me out
• Why investing $10,000 in coaching felt enormous at the time and what I got from that investment
• The importance of understanding your value as a physician
• Why I believe every woman should know what is happening with her own money, even when someone else manages the day-to-day finances

You do not need to become an investing expert tomorrow.

Start with the basics.

Know where your money is.

Know how much you have.

Know what debt you have.

And please, Doc, know whether your taxes are being filed.

Your husband may be wonderful. Mine is. I chose well. 😂

I still know what is happening with our money.

Listen to the episode, then go check your accounts.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc,

This episode is a plea.

Please take care of yourself.

There has been a lot of loss in the physician community lately, and it has made me take a harder look at the care I’m giving myself too.

Because I can preach about putting yourself first all day long, but meanwhile my Peloton has basically become furniture and my eating habits have been…questionable. 😂

And it reminded me that taking care of ourselves isn’t one thing.

You can exercise regularly and be struggling mentally.

You can eat well and be completely unsupported at home.

You can go to therapy and still be working in a job that is slowly destroying you.

You can look incredibly functional from the outside while barely keeping your head above water.

Physicians are particularly good at that last one.

We are trained to keep going. Sometimes we’re outright praised for ignoring what our bodies and minds are telling us because patients need us, there’s nobody to cover the shift, and somebody has to get the work done.

Then many of us become mothers and bring that same conditioning home.

In this episode, I’m sharing part of a previous conversation from the Mom & Mind podcast about physician burnout, anxiety, sleep deprivation, motherhood, and why asking for help is one of the most important skills we can develop.

We talk about:

• Why some of the qualities that make us excellent physicians can make anxiety harder to recognize
• The medical culture that teaches us to push through even when we’re physically or mentally unwell
• Why sleep and support matter so much during the postpartum years
• The belief that we should be able to handle everything ourselves
• Why asking for help isn’t limited to hiring someone. Family, friends, neighbors, therapy, coaching, and community all count
• What it means when your current life simply does not allow you to adequately care for yourself

You deserve help. You deserve rest. You deserve care and support.

And if taking care of yourself feels impossible within the life you’re currently living, I want you to seriously consider what needs to change.

Because life is too short, Doc.

Listen to the episode. And then check in with yourself, for real.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya