Hey Doc

We spend plenty of time talking about what motherhood costs us.

The mental load. Childcare. Career complications. The never-ending question of what these people are going to eat.

All valid.

But motherhood has also given me access to something incredibly valuable: community.

And recently, I realized I haven’t appreciated that enough.

I’m in multiple local mom groups. I can ask for childcare recommendations, swim schools, resources, advice, free stuff...and apparently get 10 different opinions on any topic I could possibly imagine.

I can also use these communities professionally. As I’ve become more intentional about growing my business locally, I realized I have access to thousands of women simply because I’m a mom.

That’s a privilege.

And I’m going to use it.

In this episode, I’m talking about the resources and relationships that become available to us through motherhood, why physician moms sometimes overlook them, and how we can stop trying to figure everything out alone.

Because your community doesn’t always have to understand every part of your life to be valuable.

And if the community you need doesn’t exist? You can create it.

You already have the kids, Doc. We might as well use some of the benefits that came with them. 😂

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why motherhood gives us access to powerful built-in communities
• Looking beyond physician mom spaces for support and resources
• Using local mom groups for everything from childcare to business connections
• Creating the community you wish existed
• Appreciating motherhood for something beyond how much we love our actual children
• Why asking other moms instead of figuring everything out yourself can make life a little easier

Motherhood asks a hell of a lot from us.

It’s okay to notice where it gives something back, too.

🎧 Listen to the full episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

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If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc,

I spent most of my career as an OB/GYN saying, “Pregnancy is not a disability.”

I believed it.

Then I had my second baby.

That pregnancy gave me a very different understanding of what it means when someone says, “I can’t do this anymore.”

I had pain that made walking excruciating. I stopped working at 30 weeks, six weeks earlier than I had with my first pregnancy. And I finally understood something I wish I had understood more deeply for my patients:

Sometimes pregnancy really can be disabling.

And for women physicians, admitting that can be especially difficult.

We’ve been trained to push through discomfort, show up no matter what, and make sure our personal lives don’t inconvenience the system. Add the pressure of not wanting your pregnancy to create more work for your colleagues, and suddenly you’re negotiating with a body that is very clearly telling you to sit your ass down.

In this episode, I’m talking about why your capacity during pregnancy may look completely different from what you expected, including what you were capable of during a previous pregnancy.

I’m also getting into the bigger issue: the culture of medicine that treats pregnancy like an individual scheduling inconvenience instead of a normal part of life that institutions should be prepared to accommodate.

Because you should not have to prove your dedication to medicine by pushing your pregnant body beyond what it can safely do.

Your colleagues will figure it out.

The schedule will get covered.

The department will survive.

And when you’re the colleague, partner, or leader making decisions that affect another pregnant physician, you have an opportunity to help create a culture where she doesn’t have to choose between taking care of herself and proving that she belongs.

If you’re pregnant, considering another baby, working alongside pregnant physicians, or leading them, this episode is for you.

Listen to this episode of ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ and send it to a physician who needs to hear it.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc,

“You worked so hard for this.”

I still hear some version of that when people find out I stepped away from clinical medicine.

And yes. I did.

I worked hard to become an OB/GYN. I fought to become the surgeon I wanted to be. I sought out mentorship, built my skills, became someone other physicians could learn from, and eventually got exactly what I had been working toward.

And then my life changed.

My priorities changed.

I changed.

In this episode, I’m sharing part of a conversation I had with surgeon and coach Dr. Amy Vertrees on The Business of Surgery podcast. While I was telling her about my transition away from surgery, she said something that stopped me:

“Everything I did in the past is going to hold me hostage for the future.”

Whew.

Because that is exactly what so many of us do.

We look at the years of training. The sacrifices. The skill we worked ridiculously hard to develop. The salary. The expectations attached to being a physician. And instead of allowing all of that to be part of our story, we turn it into evidence that we have to keep living the same story.

For me, there were even more layers.

Was I betraying the version of myself who fought so hard to become an excellent surgeon?

Was I reinforcing stereotypes about women stepping back after having children?

Was I letting down the patients who specifically wanted a Black physician caring for them?

Those weren’t small questions. I had to work through every damn one of them.

Eventually, I realized that being excellent at something does not obligate me to do it forever.

And neither does being well compensated.

Because golden handcuffs are still handcuffs. Platinum ones too. 😂

In this episode, we talk about the identity crisis that can come with changing your career, why leaving something good can sometimes be harder than leaving something obviously toxic, and how I stopped making decisions based on who I used to be and started paying attention to the life I actually wanted now.

Your past self does not get to dictate the rest of your life.

She might actually look at you and say, “Damn, girl. Good for you.”

Listen to the episode and decide what you’re ready to stop letting your past decide for you.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya