Hey Doc,

I spent most of my career as an OB/GYN saying, “Pregnancy is not a disability.”

I believed it.

Then I had my second baby.

That pregnancy gave me a very different understanding of what it means when someone says, “I can’t do this anymore.”

I had pain that made walking excruciating. I stopped working at 30 weeks, six weeks earlier than I had with my first pregnancy. And I finally understood something I wish I had understood more deeply for my patients:

Sometimes pregnancy really can be disabling.

And for women physicians, admitting that can be especially difficult.

We’ve been trained to push through discomfort, show up no matter what, and make sure our personal lives don’t inconvenience the system. Add the pressure of not wanting your pregnancy to create more work for your colleagues, and suddenly you’re negotiating with a body that is very clearly telling you to sit your ass down.

In this episode, I’m talking about why your capacity during pregnancy may look completely different from what you expected, including what you were capable of during a previous pregnancy.

I’m also getting into the bigger issue: the culture of medicine that treats pregnancy like an individual scheduling inconvenience instead of a normal part of life that institutions should be prepared to accommodate.

Because you should not have to prove your dedication to medicine by pushing your pregnant body beyond what it can safely do.

Your colleagues will figure it out.

The schedule will get covered.

The department will survive.

And when you’re the colleague, partner, or leader making decisions that affect another pregnant physician, you have an opportunity to help create a culture where she doesn’t have to choose between taking care of herself and proving that she belongs.

If you’re pregnant, considering another baby, working alongside pregnant physicians, or leading them, this episode is for you.

Listen to this episode of ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ and send it to a physician who needs to hear it.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc,

“You worked so hard for this.”

I still hear some version of that when people find out I stepped away from clinical medicine.

And yes. I did.

I worked hard to become an OB/GYN. I fought to become the surgeon I wanted to be. I sought out mentorship, built my skills, became someone other physicians could learn from, and eventually got exactly what I had been working toward.

And then my life changed.

My priorities changed.

I changed.

In this episode, I’m sharing part of a conversation I had with surgeon and coach Dr. Amy Vertrees on The Business of Surgery podcast. While I was telling her about my transition away from surgery, she said something that stopped me:

“Everything I did in the past is going to hold me hostage for the future.”

Whew.

Because that is exactly what so many of us do.

We look at the years of training. The sacrifices. The skill we worked ridiculously hard to develop. The salary. The expectations attached to being a physician. And instead of allowing all of that to be part of our story, we turn it into evidence that we have to keep living the same story.

For me, there were even more layers.

Was I betraying the version of myself who fought so hard to become an excellent surgeon?

Was I reinforcing stereotypes about women stepping back after having children?

Was I letting down the patients who specifically wanted a Black physician caring for them?

Those weren’t small questions. I had to work through every damn one of them.

Eventually, I realized that being excellent at something does not obligate me to do it forever.

And neither does being well compensated.

Because golden handcuffs are still handcuffs. Platinum ones too. 😂

In this episode, we talk about the identity crisis that can come with changing your career, why leaving something good can sometimes be harder than leaving something obviously toxic, and how I stopped making decisions based on who I used to be and started paying attention to the life I actually wanted now.

Your past self does not get to dictate the rest of your life.

She might actually look at you and say, “Damn, girl. Good for you.”

Listen to the episode and decide what you’re ready to stop letting your past decide for you.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc,

You can stop breastfeeding.

You can stop pumping.

You can know all of the benefits, have enough milk, have a baby who breastfeeds well, and still decide:

I don’t want to do this anymore.

I know that can be an especially complicated decision when you’re a physician.

We know the evidence. We know the recommendations. We know exactly what we’re “supposed” to do.

And when you’re already spending hours away from your baby because of work, breastfeeding can become the thing.

At least I can do this for her.

That was part of my experience with my daughter.

I was making enough milk, but barely. If I didn’t drink enough water, missed a meal, or skipped a pumping session, my supply would drop and I’d spend the next few days trying to catch up.

Everything revolved around producing enough milk.

I made it eight months.

I wanted to make it a year.

And eventually I had to admit that breastfeeding was taking a significant toll on my mental health.

So I stopped.

And the relief was almost immediate.

In this episode, I’m sharing part of an older conversation from the Mom & Mind podcast because I know there is a physician mom somewhere who needs permission to make the decision that is right for her, her baby, and her family.

We talk about:

• How breastfeeding prolonged my postpartum anxiety
• Why pumping felt like its own special form of torture 😂
• The additional pressure physician moms can put on themselves because we know the benefits of breastfeeding
• Why breastfeeding and mental health deserve a much more nuanced conversation
• The guilt that can come with stopping even when you know it’s the right decision
• Why unsolicited advice to “just keep going” can make a struggling mom feel even worse
• How to support another mom without immediately trying to fix her problem

Because sometimes she doesn’t need another suggestion for increasing her supply.

She doesn’t need another supplement, pumping schedule, lactation consultant, or “Have you tried…?”

She might need you to listen.

She might need you to tell her she’s not a bad mom.

She might need someone to say, “It’s okay to stop.”

And if you don’t know what she needs, there is a very simple way to find out:

Ask her.

“What do you need from me right now?”

That question goes far beyond breastfeeding. I use it in my marriage. I use it with my clients. And it can completely change the way we support the people we love.

So if breastfeeding is working beautifully for you, wonderful.

If you love it, wonderful.

And if breastfeeding is making you miserable and you desperately want someone to tell you that you’re allowed to stop:

Doc, you can stop.

You don’t have to suffer to prove that you’re a good mother.

Listen to the episode, and please send this one to the physician mom who needs to hear it.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc

I love outsourcing.

Cleaning. Childcare. Grocery delivery. The random tasks that somehow require 47 emails and a phone call during business hours.

Please. Take them.

But there is one thing I do not want you to completely outsource:

Knowing what is happening with your money.

In this episode, I’m sharing a conversation I had with Dr. Felecia Froe on the Money with Mission podcast about my own money story.

I grew up in Trinidad and Tobago watching my parents work hard, build businesses, and use their money generously. But nobody sat me down and taught me about investing, taxes, wealth building, or financial independence.

Then I became a physician.

And shockingly, between learning the Krebs cycle and trying to keep actual humans alive, nobody taught me much about money there either.

I eventually started educating myself. I learned about investing. I stopped assuming my financial advisor was performing some kind of financial wizardry. 😂 And I started understanding something that became incredibly important later in my career:

Knowing my financial situation gave me choices.

When I was burned out and miserable in medicine, money mattered.

When I decided not to buy into partnership and walked away from a well-paying job without another job lined up, money mattered.

When I invested $10,000 in my first coaching program and started seeing possibilities for myself outside of traditional medicine, money mattered.

Not because money magically fixes your life.

Because understanding your money gives you information. And information gives you options.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What I learned about money growing up in Trinidad and Tobago
• Why I eventually stopped using a financial advisor and started educating myself
• How my husband and I talk about money together
• Why we’re intentionally teaching our children about money early
• The connection between financial knowledge and my decision to leave a job that was burning me out
• Why investing $10,000 in coaching felt enormous at the time and what I got from that investment
• The importance of understanding your value as a physician
• Why I believe every woman should know what is happening with her own money, even when someone else manages the day-to-day finances

You do not need to become an investing expert tomorrow.

Start with the basics.

Know where your money is.

Know how much you have.

Know what debt you have.

And please, Doc, know whether your taxes are being filed.

Your husband may be wonderful. Mine is. I chose well. 😂

I still know what is happening with our money.

Listen to the episode, then go check your accounts.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc,

This episode is a plea.

Please take care of yourself.

There has been a lot of loss in the physician community lately, and it has made me take a harder look at the care I’m giving myself too.

Because I can preach about putting yourself first all day long, but meanwhile my Peloton has basically become furniture and my eating habits have been…questionable. 😂

And it reminded me that taking care of ourselves isn’t one thing.

You can exercise regularly and be struggling mentally.

You can eat well and be completely unsupported at home.

You can go to therapy and still be working in a job that is slowly destroying you.

You can look incredibly functional from the outside while barely keeping your head above water.

Physicians are particularly good at that last one.

We are trained to keep going. Sometimes we’re outright praised for ignoring what our bodies and minds are telling us because patients need us, there’s nobody to cover the shift, and somebody has to get the work done.

Then many of us become mothers and bring that same conditioning home.

In this episode, I’m sharing part of a previous conversation from the Mom & Mind podcast about physician burnout, anxiety, sleep deprivation, motherhood, and why asking for help is one of the most important skills we can develop.

We talk about:

• Why some of the qualities that make us excellent physicians can make anxiety harder to recognize
• The medical culture that teaches us to push through even when we’re physically or mentally unwell
• Why sleep and support matter so much during the postpartum years
• The belief that we should be able to handle everything ourselves
• Why asking for help isn’t limited to hiring someone. Family, friends, neighbors, therapy, coaching, and community all count
• What it means when your current life simply does not allow you to adequately care for yourself

You deserve help. You deserve rest. You deserve care and support.

And if taking care of yourself feels impossible within the life you’re currently living, I want you to seriously consider what needs to change.

Because life is too short, Doc.

Listen to the episode. And then check in with yourself, for real.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc,

These children will really have you questioning your entire motherhood résumé.

This summer, I left my kids in Trinidad with their grandparents while my husband and I stayed home to work on our businesses. And before you come for me, please understand the setup: camp, personal transportation, loving grandparents, extra help, someone cooking for them, and my mother making my son fry bake on request.

This child was living GOOD.

And yet, my son was crying, telling me he hated camp and wanted to come home. It was hard to hear, even when I had photographic evidence that he was perfectly happy when he wasn’t on the phone with me.

Then, a few weeks later, I told him we were coming to get them.

His response?

He didn’t want to come home.

Sir.

In this episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers, I’m talking about what happens when your child’s very real feelings start making you question whether you’ve made a terrible parenting decision.

Because your child can be sad.

They can miss you.

They can cry.

They can even be absolutely furious about a decision you made.

And none of those things automatically mean you made the wrong decision.

Sometimes being their mother means trusting what you know, allowing them to have their feelings, and resisting the urge to immediately fix their discomfort just so you can stop feeling guilty.

I’m sharing what this experience taught me about motherhood, guilt, and sticking with a decision even when your child is giving an Oscar-worthy performance suggesting you have personally ruined their life.

Spoiler: mine went from crying himself to sleep to asking when he could come back to Trinidad.

There’s hope for you, Doc. 😂

🎧 Listen to the full episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey, Doc

I'm sharing part of an interview I did on my friend Dr. Weili Gray's podcast, *The Dare to Dream Physician Travel Podcast*. At the time, she had just pivoted her show to focus on travel, and listening back now feels like opening a time capsule.

We talk about my journey from Trinidad to Howard University, residency, burnout, entrepreneurship, and coaching. But we also talk about one of my greatest passions: travel.

From solo trips through South Africa... to scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef... to standing inside the slave castles in Ghana while pregnant with my son... this conversation reminded me how much travel has shaped who I am.

But the most surprising moment came near the end.

I casually said, "I haven't really traveled that much."

Then I started listing the places I'd been.

Twenty-two countries.

Five countries in Africa.

Australia. Greece. Turkey. The Seychelles. Botswana. Ghana.

I realized, in real time, that my brain had been telling me a story that simply wasn't true.

That's what this episode is really about.

The stories we believe about ourselves.

In this episode, we talk about:
- Why I started traveling alone during residency
- My love affair with the African continent
- The emotional experience of visiting Ghana and the slave castles
- How scuba diving became one of my favorite adventures
- Why I don't wait for other people before living my life
- The surprising lie I realized I'd been telling myself
- Why coaching and community help us see ourselves more clearly

One of the biggest reasons we stay stuck is because we believe our own thoughts without questioning them.

Sometimes all it takes is saying them out loud for someone else to hold up a mirror and say, "Wait a minute... that's not actually true."

That's the power of community.

That's the power of coaching.

And sometimes, that's the power of a podcast conversation.

🎧 Listen in, get to know me a little better, and maybe you'll catch one of the stories you've been telling yourself, too.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc

You worked incredibly hard to become a physician. Four years of undergrad. Four years of medical school. Years of residency and fellowship. Endless sacrifices.

So why are you acting like you're not allowed to benefit from it?

In this episode, I'm giving you full permission to use one of the few privileges you truly earned: your physician network.

I've used it to get second opinions when my family needed them. I've gotten my nephew seen by a pediatric subspecialist on short notice. I've leaned on physician communities when my mom had a serious burn. Every single time, someone stepped up because I asked.

And that's the part many of us forget.

People actually want to help.

Somewhere along the way, many physician moms start believing they're bothering people if they reach out, ask a question, or call in a favor. We spend our careers taking care of everyone else but hesitate to let anyone take care of us.

I'm here to remind you that this isn't taking advantage of anyone.

This is one of the few privileges you worked your entire adult life to earn.

Use it.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why physician moms often hesitate to ask for help
• Real examples of how I've used my physician network for my family
• The surprising truth: helping others feels good
• Why asking for help is a gift to the person who's able to give it
• How to stop feeling guilty about using the connections you've earned

You don't have to wait months for an appointment if someone is willing to help. You don't have to feel guilty texting a specialist friend. You don't have to do this alone.

Use your privilege, Doc.

You've earned it.

🎧 Listen now, and if this episode reminds you of another physician who needs permission to ask for help, send it to her. She deserves to use the network she worked so hard to build, too.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya