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When a mysterious woman summons Nancy Balbirer to a Russian restaurant in New York City, the near stranger’s shocking purple hair and even more shocking news send Balbirer simultaneously reeling back to her past and hurtling toward a future that, at almost fifty years old, she never dreamed possible. This romantic-comedy memoir tells the true story of how a pack of Hollywood television writers and the denizens of a fabled but cursed Manhattan apartment building helped the author and one of her best friends turn a thirty-two-year almost romance into a real one.

When Nancy Balbirer learns her beloved eleven-year-old beagle has kidney failure, she’s devastated. She and her husband had gotten Ira as a puppy - a wedding gift to each other, and their first foray into “parenthood.” Now, her dog is terminal, her marriage is on life support, and Nancy is desperate to save them both (whether they want it or not). In a single year, she loses her two best friends, but Nancy’s life is about to take yet another unexpected turn. With humor and heart, Nancy Balbirer shares her story of relationships, loss, and canine friendship in this illuminating memoir.

Without sparing the embarrassing details, Balbirer chronicles the two decades she spent as a struggling actress in the trenches of show business. From the searing purist tutelage of David Mamet at NYU Drama School ("In show business, women who are lucky enough to find employment are asked to do only two things in every role they ever play: take your shirt off and cry") to her bizarre 1 AM Saturday Night Live audition for Lorne Michaels, Balbirer recounts her sometimes disappointing, sometimes painful, and always bizarre adventures.