Epic Fantasy Humor

Tim and his friends find out the hard way that you shouldn't question the game master, and you shouldn't make fun of his cape. One minute, they're drinking away the dreariness of their lives, escaping into a fantasy game and laughing their asses off. The next minute, they're in a horse-drawn cart surrounded by soldiers pointing crossbows at them.

To earn a pardon and avoid prison or execution, Timmy, Grand Necromancer and Lord of Black Tower Castle, has been completing missions for the Council with the help of an elite team of truly heroic individuals. There’s Katie, his apprentice. She’s brilliant, cunning, and maniacally devious. She’s also 10 years old, extremely adorable, and loves billowy robes and the color pink. There’s Avraniel, the pyromaniac elf who is responsible for more property damage than anyone in Everton’s history (including dragons, natural disasters, and demon gods).

A month has passed since Martin helped to defeat the evil programmer Jimmy, and things couldn't be going better. Except for his love life, that is. Feeling distant and lost, Gwen has journeyed to Atlantis, a tolerant and benevolent kingdom governed by the Sorceresses, and a place known to be a safe haven to all female time-travelers.

Burning down the lab will do that. But every cloud has a silver lining, and after being let go from his most recent job for unsanctioned experiments, Alph is given the chance to blow off a little steam with a cutting edge new game that isn’t even out of beta. It's called Nova Terra.

Adventuring is a costly affair, and while the tolls are often paid in blood, gold can drain away just as quickly. The party's trek out of Solium and across the lands of Alcatham has left them with only a handful of gold between them. Fortunately, they have drawn near Camnarael, Alcatham's capital, where all manner of quests - and rewards - await. But all is not as expected in the capital.

When Morgan got hit by a car and died on Earth, he never imagined that he would be chosen by a god, little g, to be taken to another planet - a World governed by game-like rules. Especially since said god liked to have people call him the Great Lord, and had basically created an entire World to run experiments in. Nor could Morgan have ever imagined that he would find one thing that he had never really had on Earth: a real family. It's been years since Morgan started his second chance at life on that world, and both he and his friends have achieved great power as part of a Great Raid.

Emily Wright was prepared to spend her first year on campus under the radar and out of sight, propelled by the force of her social anxiety. Fate, however, cursed her with the ability known as Sister Summoning. Revealed on Power Day—the annual event where people discover their superpowers—Emily’s new talent caused five “sisters” to suddenly pop into existence. And as if that weren’t enough, Emily found herself officially categorized as a villain.

Loch is seeking revenge. It would help if she wasn’t in jail. The plan: To steal a priceless elven manuscript that once belonged to her family, but is now in the hands of the most powerful man in the Republic. To do so, Loch - former soldier, former prisoner, and current fugitive - must assemble a crack team of magical misfits that includes a cynical illusionist, a shape shifting unicorn, a repentant death priestess, a talking magical war hammer, and a lad with seemingly no skills.

Many view "hitting rock bottom" as a foundation on which to rebuild one's life, a place from which one can only ascend. Gamers know to search for a secret door leading down to the sewer.

Fleeing from a vengeful king has sent the former NPCs across Solium's borders, into the kingdom of Alcatham. As wanted fugitives, they head to the small farming village of Briarwillow, hoping to blend in, lay low, and avoid trouble at all costs. Unfortunately, Briarwillow has problems all its own, and its troubles quickly become theirs. If they hope to survive long enough to escape, they'll have to tackle an all-but-forgotten mystery buried at the town's border as well as seek the wisdom of a mysterious group of mages.

Alex has made some staggering progress in the fantasy world, with his growth skill continuously expanding his stats to some truly overpowered heights. The more he grinds in the Dungeon, the stronger he becomes, and that also rings true for the three stunning mages with him.

All Elliott Harkness wants is to be a superhero. His parents are superheroes. His older sister is a superhero. Heck, even his dog is a superhero. But Elliott has a problem - he’s a “zero”, which is super-speak for powerless! So, while his family is off fighting crime, Elliott is stuck muddling through middle school. But when danger strikes, and Elliott is Earth's last hope, will he find the power to be the epic hero he's always wanted to be? Or will he always be just an epic zero?

Skeeve needs more than magic to solve a matter of Murder and Myth-tery. He’s in a real pickle this time. His green, scaly partner, Aahz, has disappeared, and it looks like foul play. Finding Aahz ought to be a snap for a talented magician like Skeeve, especially with a sassy apprentice and a dumb-but-brawny bodyguard along for the ride. The trouble is, they're sleuthing in another dimension that makes the Bazaar on Deva look tame!

Harry Flashman: the unrepentant bully of Tom Brown's schooldays, now with a Victoria Cross, has three main talents - horsemanship, facility with foreign languages, and fornication. A reluctant military hero, Flashman plays a key part in most of the defining military campaigns of the 19th century, despite trying his utmost to escape them all. What was Harry Flashman doing on the slopes of Little Bighorn, caught between the gallant remnant of Custer's 7th Cavalry and the attack of Sitting Bull's braves?

Deeming the Whore's Head Inn no longer safe to hide in, the gang decide to take a more proactive role in their pursuit to get back to reality, or at least to keep Mordred from doing so.

The adventure continues. Tim and the C and C gang face their most difficult challenges yet. Horses die. Eyeballs are eaten. People are urinated on. A god is born.

In the wake of their recent loss, the Caverns and Creatures gang are left hanging. Do their choices amount to more than waiting around to die of thirst and leaping to a quicker death? Probably, or else this would have been a much shorter story.

Splitting the party is never a good idea, but sometimes, that's just the hand fate deals you. On Nazere, the gang's plans are cast into the wind when a stubborn foe returns to settle a score. Back in Cardinia, Stacy has her hands full trying to help Dave, while Dave does everything in his power to avoid being helped. Tim and Cooper stagger out of the desert, to find themselves in a whole new world of trouble.

Lord Vlad Taltos returns in the prequel to Jhereg, Yendi and Teckla. In this fantastic adventure, listeners learn what really happened when Vlad found himself walking the Paths of the Dead.

Piers Anthony delivers another tale set in the best-selling world of Xanth, filled with magic, surprises, adventure, and a few puns. Here's what the author has to say about his new book: "Five Portraits is a kind of sequel to Board Stiff in that it picks up where the other leaves off, with the same characters. Apart from that, it's one of my favorites within the series.