Humorous Adventure

When the neighbours in question are the proud empires of Klatch and Ankh-Morpork, those are going to be some pretty large garden tools indeed. Of course, no-one would dream of starting a war without a perfectly good reason...such as a 'strategic' piece of old rock in the middle of nowhere. It is after all every citizen's right to bear arms to defend their own. Even if it isn't technically their own. And even if they don't have much in the way of actual weaponry.

Koom Valley, the ancient battle where the trolls ambushed the dwarfs, or the dwarfs ambushed the trolls, was a long time ago. But if he doesn't solve the murder of just one dwarf, Commander Sam Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch is going to see it fought again, right outside his office. With his beloved Watch crumbling around him and war-drums sounding, he must unravel every clue, outwit every assassin and brave any darkness to find the solution. And darkness is following him.

Who is Septimus Heap? A lost child? An ordinary hero? A powerful wizard? The Magyk begins here. The first book in this enthralling new series by Angie Sage leads listeners on a fantastic journey filled with quirky characters and magykal charms, potions, and spells. Magyk is an original story of lost and rediscovered identities, rich with humor and heart.

All Jiran wants to do is delve ever deeper into the depths of density and mana—the cornerstones of the magic that permeates his world. Unfortunately, his powers have grown far beyond what anyone could have foreseen. His mentors, unable to shelter him from those who seek to abuse his knowledge, have chosen to flee and whisked him away to the far corner of the empire. Their efforts are futile, as there are omnipotent forces at play beyond their comprehension. To them, Jiran simply stands out too much, and like the proverbial nail, he’s about to discover that Madra is the mother of all hammers.

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In the first two books alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, a lumpy bed, a deadly serpent, a large brass reading lamp, a long knife, and a terrible odor.

When my old friend Professor von Volt called to ask for help, I agreed immediately, even though it meant trekking halfway around the world to Mouse Everest! The trip was long and dangerous. I almost froze my tail off along the way. And then I was kidnapped by a yeti! Yes, it was truly an amazing adventure.

On a typical day, on an average train platform, two warring sister goddesses found their avatars. One avatar, the young Yoshi, was swept away to the world of Ephemera to be a great hero of honor, courage, and light. The other, the not-so-young Seiji, was swept away to become a dark lord out to kill or conquer all in his path. But Seiji is in absolutely no mood for that nonsense. It's bad enough that on Earth he was a closed-off, misanthropic grouch with zero patience for other people. Now he's supposed to muster enough of a give-a-damn to lead vile hordes?

Findriddy and Carson are two explorers sent to Boohte to survey the ridges and scrub-covered hills of the planet. Back home, their adventures are followed by countless breathless fans, but the reality is far less romantic as they deal with dust, nitpicking regulations, and uncooperative aliens. Teamed with a young intern whose specialty is mating customs, and a native guide of indeterminate gender, the group sets out for a previously unexplored sector of the planet.

George and Harold thought they were beyond boogers. Their new pet, Sulu the Bionic Hamster, had defeated the Bionic Booger Boy, and through the wonders of science, Melvin Sneedly had been brought back to normal (well, almost normal). It looked like their last adventure was actually going to have a happy ending...except for one thing (well, three things) - the Ridiculous Robo-Boogers. Now George, Harold, and their buddies are on the run - with the Robo-Boogers in hot, gooey pursuit! Will the boys get away from these gross globs, or will Sulu have to save the day again?

Abby and her kid brother, Jonah, are just regular kids...until they find a magic mirror in their basement. The mirror is a portal that leads them into different fairy tales, from Snow White to Cinderella to The Little Mermaid. But in each story, nothing goes as planned, and it’s up to Abby to try to fix the happy endings - or maybe, sometimes, create better ones!

In the futuristic city of Tabula Ra$a, Zoey Ashe is like a fish so far out of water that it has achieved orbit. After inheriting a criminal empire, the 23-year-old finds herself under threat from all sides as a rogue's gallery of larger-than-life enemies think they smell weakness. On the eve of the world's most ridiculous Halloween celebration, a steamer trunk-sized box arrives at Zoey's door, and she is shocked to find that it contains a disemboweled corpse. She's even more shocked when that corpse, controlled by an unknown party, rises and goes on a rampage through the house.

Cameras roll, for the first time, on the Discworld when alchemists discover the excitement of the silver screen. But what is the dark secret of Holy Wood hill? As the clichés of Tinsel Town pour into the world, it's up to the Disc's first film stars to find out. Join Victor Tugelbend and Theda Withel as they battle the forces of evil and cinema advertising. They're about to discover that the magic of the silver screen might be powerful enough to put an end to, well, everything.

William de Worde is the accidental editor of the Discworld's first newspaper. Now he must cope with the traditional perils of a journalist's life - people who want him dead, a recovering vampire with a suicidal fascination for flash photography, some more people who want him dead in a different way and, worst of all, the man who keeps begging him to publish pictures of his humorously shaped potatoes.

Pete is a simple man who enjoys a good drink amongst good friends. Not too much to ask, right? Now, he's trapped in a fantasy world far from home, stuck underground and inside the body of a smelly dwarf with fantastic facial hair. The worst part? The swill that the dwarves are falling all over themselves to drink. It's flat, it's watery, and it has the alcohol content of a rancid coconut. Can Pete save the dwarves from their own sour fate, or will he be forever doomed to plink his pickaxe away in hopes that he hits the motherlode?

Ben Ripley’s longtime nemesis, Murray Hill, has put a price on Ben’s head and accused him of being at the center of a conspiracy on the internet. Now Ben finds himself in his greatest danger yet, on the run from both assassins and conspiracy theorists. Ben must find Murray before his machinations catch up to Ben—but with so much at stake, even some of Ben’s most trusted friends might not be at the top of their game, leaving Ben to be tested like never before.

Packed full of adventure, this collection features eight of the best-loved stories from the creators of The Gruffalo, read by Julia Donaldson – perfect for listening to at home, in the car, at bedtime or any time at all! Join in the adventure as Mouse wanders through the deep dark wood to meet the Gruffalo, travel the world with the snail and the whale, join the witch as she zooms through the sky on her broom, and much more! Julia Donaldson Reads The Gruffalo and Other Stories features eight treasured tales, from the bestselling picture-book partnership of Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler.

Mr. Boorschmidt's Stupendous and Unexcelled Circus is back in town. This time one of its attractions is really out of this world. In the big ring are six Martians and their flying saucer! But Boorschmidt doesn't stop there. He wants something even more spectacular to offer the audience, so he asks Freddy for help. Freddy knows what to do. He organizes an amazing baseball team.

A taste of her own medicine. George is alone in the house with Grandma. The most horrid, grizzly old grunion of a grandma ever. She needs something stronger than her usual medicine to cure her grouchiness. A special grandma medicine, a remedy for everything. And George knows just what to put into it. Grandma's in for the surprise of her life - and so is George, when he sees the results of his mixture!

In this sparkling tale, young merchant Abdullah purchases a magic carpet - and soon finds that the enchanted rug is none too agreeable. But despite the carpet's cranky demeanor, Abdullah must rely on its help to rescue a princess from a wicked djinn.

A year had passed since Ben Holiday bought the Magic Kingdom from the wizard Meeks, who had set a series of pitfalls against him. Ben survived, by the aid of three loyal friends: Questor Thews, and ill-trained wizard; Abernathy, a talking dog, the court scribe; and the lovely Willow, who sometimes had to be a tree. But Ben had been troubled by dreams of disaster to his former partner, Miles Bennett. Yet when he returned to Earth, Ben found Miles doing splendidly. The dreams had been a trap by Meeks, who had returned to the Magic Kingdom as a tiny insect hidden in Ben's clothing.