Humorous Adventure

Twas the night (okay, more like the week) before Christmas, and all through Pine Cove, California, people are busy buying, wrapping, packing, and generally getting into the holiday spirit.

Septimus Heap, the seventh son of the seventh son, disappears the night he is born, pronounced dead by the midwife. That same night, the baby's father, Silas Heap, comes across an abandoned child in the snow—a newborn girl with violet eyes. Who is this mysterious baby girl, and what really happened to the Heaps' beloved son Septimus?

Nanny Piggins, the world's most glamorous flying pig, runs away from the circus and goes to live with the Greens as their nanny. The Green children, Derrick, Samantha and Michael, fall in love with her instantly. Who could not fall in love with a Nanny whose only job qualifications are her astonishing ability to be fired out of a cannon and her amazing ability to make chocolate cake, sometimes both at the same time?

Football has come to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork. And now the wizards of Unseen University must win a football match without using magic...so they're in the mood for trying everything else. To do so, they recruit an unlikely group of players: Trev, a street urchin with a talent for kicking a tin can; Glenda, the night chef who makes a mean pie; Juliet, the kitchen hand turned world's greatest fashion model; and the mysterious Mr Nutt, who has something powerful, and dark, locked away inside him.

It was supposed to be another boring day at the insurance office for Rico Kline, but powerful forces had other plans for him. Finding himself repeatedly summoned to other worlds as a disposable minion, Rico must face deadly foes, disarm insidious traps, become a test subject, and run the occasional errand for his various summoners. At least when each summoning is over, he’s rewarded and sent back home. But being back home has its own set of problems, and he'll need to grow stronger to face it all.

Valdez Jones VIII calls himself Wrecker because his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather salvaged shipwrecks for a living. So is it destiny, irony, or just bad luck when Wrecker comes across a speedboat that has run hard aground on a sand flat? The men in the boat don't want Wrecker to call for help—in fact, they'll pay him to forget he ever saw them. Wrecker would be happy to forget, but he keeps seeing these men all over Key West—at the marina, even in the cemetery. And now they want more than his silence—they want a lookout.

Dave Smith is having a bad day, week, month, maybe even year. Freshly unemployed, facing eviction, and now he's been transported to a fantasy world. A wish come true for many a geek, if only he hadn't died less than a day after he arrived. Now trapped in this fantasy realms version of purgatory, he faces the prospect of trying to navigate a new existence as a dungeon. That wouldn't be so bad, except ending dungeons seems to be the path out for many of the other denizens of these Proving Grounds.

Everything should have been quiet and pleasant for Ben Holiday, the former Chicago lawyer who became sovereign of the Magic Kingdom of Landover. But it wasn’t. Horris Kew, conjurer, confidence-man, and trickster, had returned to Landover from Ben’s own world. Alas, Horris had not returned of his own volition - he had been sent by the Gorse, a sorcerer of great evil, whom Horris had unwittingly freed from the magic Tangle Box, where it had long ago been imprisoned by the fairy folk. Now it had returned to enslave those who had once dared condemn it.

Tim is just a peasant, but he dreams big. He wants more out of life than to grow up to be a woodsman like his father. Unfortunately, the only route to success in the kingdom of Wyld is to be born a prince. Still, Tim is determined. He is brave and clever and always tries to do the right thing—even though he rarely gets the credit for it.

This is the worst thing you can wish on a citizen of Discworld. Especially for the magically challenged Rincewind, who has already had far too much excitement in his life. Unfortunately, the unlucky wizard always seems to end up in the middle of, well, absolutely everything. So when a request for a 'Great Wizzard' arrives from the faraway Counterweight Continent, it's obviously Rincewind who's sent. For one thing, he's the only one who spells wizard that way.

In the kingdom of Re-Estize, a sinister organization known as the Eight Fingers holds sway of the criminal underworld. Ainzs orders Sebas to infiltrate the capital to gather intel on this shadowy group sucking the marrow from the kingdom's bones. At the same time, a young soldier named Climb struggles to hone his skills to better serve the "Golden Princess" while the once great warrior Brian returns home a broken man... Against the backdrop of an ancient city fraying at its edges, three men will challenge the corruption of the vicious Eight Fingers!

Teddy Fitzroy, his family, and some other FunJungle employees have been invited to visit a bison ranch just outside Yellowstone National Park that FunJungle’s owner, J.J. McCracken, is considering purchasing. But as usual, trouble isn’t far behind. The ranch’s endangered bison have been mysteriously disappearing. Then a massive local grizzly bear named Sasquatch breaks into the house, causing chaos. In the aftermath, Kandace McCracken discovers that her exceptionally expensive sapphire necklace has vanished.

A Secret Service operative and dedicated survivalist, Special Agent Del Roosevelt had a plan for every world-ending scenario and regularly trained for them all. He was even ready for a date with the hottest woman in his office next Friday. At least he hoped so. But all that training, all those rations, all that prepping? Useless for the apocalypse that actually played out. Del wakes up half-buried in a giant trash pile, missing his thumbs. And, um, covered in red fur. He's stuck in a world of fuzzy monsters, senseless violence, and cult-like crusaders.

Dorian Hawke's daily routine was pretty straightforward. Wake up, pull his weight around the village, eat potatoes, go to bed. Not too shabby. Not very interesting, maybe, but it was honest work. Then a boat falls like a meteor from the sky. Next thing he knows, a gorgeous elf and stunning faun tell him that magical blood runs through his veins, and they need him to navigate their ship through space.

On one dark and windy night, Ozzy steps out of bed, jumps out his window, and walks straight into the ocean. It's as if someone is controlling Ozzy's mind. He's saved by Sigi - Rin's daughter - and Clark, a mechanical robot bird. More than ever, Ozzy could really use the services of Rin, the Wizard for Hire. When a mysterious package arrives in the mail containing a plane ticket and a thumb drive, Ozzy is certain it's from Rin. But when Ozzy, Sigi, and Clark arrive in New York, Rin isn't there.

A retired group of legendary mercenaries get the band back together for one last impossible mission in this award-winning debut epic fantasy. Kings of the Wyld: Booktrack Edition adds an immersive musical soundtrack to your audiobook listening experience!

In this sparkling tale, young merchant Abdullah purchases a magic carpet - and soon finds that the enchanted rug is none too agreeable. But despite the carpet's cranky demeanor, Abdullah must rely on its help to rescue a princess from a wicked djinn.

Vampires have come to Lancre, but they're not what you'd expect. Sure, they drink blood and view humans as dinner, but they're modern and sophisticated. They've got style and fancy waistcoats. And they're not a bit afraid of garlic. The Magpyr family are out of the casket and want a bite of the future. But they haven't met the neighbours yet. Between them and Lancre stand a coven of four - Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Magrat and young Agnes - and they don't take kindly to murderous intruders....

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a policeman taking a holiday would barely have had time to open his suitcase before he finds his first corpse. Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch is on holiday in the pleasant and innocent countryside, but not for him a mere body in the wardrobe. There are many, many bodies - and an ancient crime more terrible than murder. He is out of his jurisdiction, out of his depth, out of bacon sandwiches; and out of his mind. But never out of guile. Where there is a crime there must be a punishment.

Join everyone’s favourite marmalade-loving bear as he tries to tackle household chores, takes part in the Brown family sports day, sees snow for the first time, learns about Love Day, dresses up for Halloween and attempts to save Christmas!