Humorous Fiction Family

Like the previous books in A Series of Unfortunate Events, there is nothing to be heard here but misery, despair, and discomfort, and you still have time to choose something else to listen to.

Will the twins make it back home to California in one piece, or will they fall off the top of the Golden Gate Bridge? It's all coming to an end with this fifth book in the Genius Files series. You'll have to listen to believe it!

Sheldon convinces Lucy, Sam, April, and Amanda to join him at a weeklong sleepaway summer camp - Camp Paleo: Live Like a Caveman. Like cavemen, they're going to have to make do without air-conditioning or a heated pool. They'll learn archery and dig for fossils. And Grandma's coming, too; she's taking a job as lunch lady for the camp next door.

Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp. You might also prefer not to listen to this audiobook, in which the Baudelaire siblings descend into the depths of despair, underwater. The horrors they encounter are too numerous to list, and include mushrooms, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lost friend, and tap dancing.

Megin is 12; her brother Greg is 14. Megin is a slob; Greg is fastidious. They call each other Megamouth and Grosso. Between the two, the household is filled with their teasing and fighting. They are experts at the usual games of sibling rivalry and experts at inventing new ones. From carefully-planted cockroaches to creme doughnut fights, Megin and Greg's antics keep them in constant trouble. But even as they think up new ways to bug each other, they are also growing up.

It's the mid-1990s, and 15-year-old Guernsey schoolgirls Renée and Flo are not really meant to be friends. Thoughtful, introspective and studious Flo couldn't be more different to ambitious, extroverted and sexually curious Renée. But Renée and Flo are united by loneliness and their dysfunctional families, and an intense bond is formed. Although there are obstacles to their friendship (namely Flo's jealous ex-best friend and Renée's growing infatuation with Flo's brother), 15 is an age where anything can happen.

Anastasia Krupnik's little brother, Sam, wants fangs more than anything in the world. But there is one big problem. Sam's mother, Mrs. Krupnik, has fangphobia and forbids Sam even to touch his plastic vampire fangs in the house. How can she not see how cool fangs really are? Sure, they make it hard to eat hot dogs, but they make him look disgusting - and Sam loves to took disgusting.

Ruth loves her super soft, cushy-wushy pink pajamas and wants to wear them to school. Her mom knows it's a bad idea, but Ruth doesn't listen. Ruth soon learns her lesson and realizes her mom was right all along.

This spellbinding and grand adventure tale is populated by a cast of eccentric characters who spring to vibrant life with Kerin McCue's dazzling narration.

Capricorn Anderson has spent his entire life on a farm with his hippie grandmother. After an accident puts Grandma in the hospital, Cap is forced to attend Claverage Middle School and live with his guidance counselor. The tradition at Claverage is for students to nominate the biggest nerd for class president, and Cap is the obvious choice. But with his odd ways and positive outlook, Cap just might turn the joke upside down by becoming the best class president ever.

Ben is getting used to life without his beloved granny. She was a cabbage enthusiast, a Scrabble partner...and an international jewel thief known as the Black Cat. Now, only the memory of their extraordinary adventure to steal the Crown Jewels lives on. Then something inexplicable happens. World-famous treasures are stolen in the dead of night and the clues point to none other than...the Black Cat? Expect the unexpected in this adventure, which will have listeners on the edge of their seats as they join Ben on his quest to unravel the mystery of the return of the Black Cat.

Ramona's job is to be nice to fussy Mrs. Kemp, who watches her while her mother works. If Mrs. Quimby didn't work, Mr. Quimby couldn't return to college. On top of all that, third grade isn't turning out as Ramona expected, even though she enjoys her class's new reading program, D.E.A.R. Danny the Yard Ape teases her, and, on one horrible day, she throws up - at school. Being eight isn't easy, but it's never dull!

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don't.

I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to listen to this recording because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put down this audio instantaneously, because of all the audios describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet.

Nobody in their right minds would listen to this particular book about the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay at the village of V.F.D. has been faithfully and dreadfully recorded on this program.

In rural North Carolina, in 1951, despite parental reassurances, a typhoid shot hurt. It hurt even more when the children saw who would be administering the shot: Miss Winnie, a large, dictatorial nurse who had been "especially built by the nursing school so she would never blow away in a hard wind".

Like handshakes or housepets, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up, and down, a range of strange and distressing mountains.

Regardless of how they pass their time while at a hotel, the three siblings will be sure to take in all the interesting sights and sounds, and write them down, just in case this episode turns out to be the darkest yet in a series of unfortunate events.

When Silas Heap unseals a forgotten room in the palace, he releases the ghost of a queen who lived 500 years earlier. Queen Etheldredda is as awful in death as she was in life, and she's still up to no good. Her diabolical plan to give herself everlasting life requires Jenna's compliance, Septimus' disappearance, and the talents of her son, Marcellus Pye, a famous alchemist and physician.

Meet the world’s funniest kindergartner - Junie B. Jones! It’s kindergarten graduation, and room nine is getting bright white graduation gowns. Teacher says to keep them in their boxes until the big day. But Junie B. Jones just can’t help herself. Then - uh-oh! - an accident happens! Will graduation be a spotty dotty disaster?