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But It’s Your Family...

Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath

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But It’s Your Family...

Written by: Dr. Sherrie Campbell
Narrated by: Dr. Sherrie Campbell
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About this listen

But It’s Your Family is a remarkable account of what it means to cut ties to toxic family abuse and thrive in the aftermath.

Loving someone doesn’t always mean having a relationship with them, just like forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation. Reconciling, in many cases, only sets people up for more abuse. A significant part of healing comes with accepting that this is a part of life; there are some relationships that are so poisonous that they destroy one’s ability to be healthy and function best. Dr. Sherrie Campbell clarifies how parents, adult children, siblings, grandparents, and in-laws can be toxic while giving direction on how to explain cutting ties to children and others who may not understand. When listeners are able to bring closure to those toxic relationships, they give themselves the space to love those family members from a distance, as fellow human beings, with the knowledge that it is unwise to remain connected. In But It’s Your Family, listeners learn how to love themselves in the process and fundamentally change their lives for the better.

©2019 Dr. Sherrie Campbell (P)2020 Dr. Sherrie Campbell
Parenting & Families Personal Success Psychology Relationships Mental Health Physical Exercise Difficult Family
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What listeners say about But It’s Your Family...

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Survivor of Toxic parents - this book has helped me to forgive myself and accept my reality

Having just “separated from my toxic family” - living with survivors guilt and initiating No contact with my parents. This book has given me the strength I need in order to accept my reality, understand that I am not alone and live guilt free from the choices I HAVE to make in order to live in peace.

If you are struggling with breaking free from toxic people and accepting the choices you must make in order to live a happy, peaceful life. Please read this book.

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Invaluable

I disagree wholeheartedly with the negative reviews. As the scapegoat child of an extremely dysfunctional covert narcissist it is impossible to wade through what’s normal and what is toxic. It is truly a lifelong struggle and the dysfunction is insidious and pervasive. The authors examples of her own personal story are invaluable to those of us trying to understand our own experiences, and that our feelings and experiences are real and validated for the first time in our lives. Bravo and deep thanks to Sherrie for putting herself out there for the rest of us.

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Excessively personal & problematic

I eventually had to stop reading this book because while it begins very strong with sharp insights, it gradually (then rapidly) becomes a memoir and not a book based primarily on case studies, secondary or primary sources, or professional experience. Eventually, I noticed the language of the book shifted markedly away from "victims of abuse" or "us/we" to "I". The excessively personal focus clearly had an impact on which issues the author covered in depth and which she glossed over, and it also led her to make some sweeping generalizations that seemed dubious.

But the moment I closed the book was when the author compared herself to the real-life victims of a serial rapist, lamenting that those victims at least had a day in court, whereas the author will "never" have a day in court to confront her parents' emotional abuse. I found this statement shockingly insensitive to survivors of serial sexual abuse, and it was, frankly, a disturbingly narcissistic frame for discussing their experience. The first chapter or two are well done, but I wouldn't recommend anything after them. This author may have a lot of education and clinical experience, but it never felt that those things or anything beyond her personal experience shaped this book.

This is a very intense memoir that, by the end, seemed to be for the author's own (very legitimate) need to come to terms with issues more than it felt intended for a larger and more diverse audience. It did not feel inviting to readers whose experiences are different or who are looking for a scientific, clinical approach.

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Author just vents about her family

This book focuses heavily on the authors problems with her family. I found no tools or insights in the first 4 chapters, at which point I returned it. It sounds like she is reading from her diary. I truly hope writing the book was healing for her. It did nothing for me however.

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