The Four Tendencies
The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)
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The Four Tendencies
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Narrated by:
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Gretchen Rubin
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Written by:
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Gretchen Rubin
About this listen
In this groundbreaking analysis of personality type, best-selling author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin reveals the one simple question that will transform what you do at home, at work, and in life.
During her multi-book investigation into understanding human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question “How do I respond to expectations?” we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively.
More than 600,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change.
The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you’ve ever thought:
- People can rely on me, but I can’t rely on myself.
- How can I help someone to follow good advice?
- People say I ask too many questions.
- How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask - or who keeps telling me what to do?
With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. It’s far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.
©2017 Gretchen Rubin (P)2017 Random House AudioYou may also enjoy...
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Better Than Before
- Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives
- Written by: Gretchen Rubin
- Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
- Length: 9 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 84
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 67
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 67
The author of the blockbuster New York Times best sellers The Happiness Project and Happier at Home tackles the critical question: How do we change? Gretchen Rubin's answer: through habits. Habits are the invisible architecture of everyday life. It takes work to make a habit, but once that habit is set, we can harness the energy of habits to build happier, stronger, more productive lives.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
No new insights, but a good read.
- By Andrew Beatty on 2018-01-19
Written by: Gretchen Rubin
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The Happiness Project
- Written by: Gretchen Rubin
- Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 146
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 124
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 124
Gretchen Rubin had an epiphany one rainy afternoon in the unlikeliest of places: a city bus. "The days are long, but the years are short," she realized. "Time is passing, and I'm not focusing enough on the things that really matter." In that moment, she decided to dedicate a year to her happiness project.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Pragmatic and Delightful
- By Six on 2020-01-26
Written by: Gretchen Rubin
-
Happier at Home
- Kiss More, Jump More, Abandon a Project, Read Samuel Johnson, and My Other Experiments in the Practice of Everyday Life
- Written by: Gretchen Rubin
- Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 32
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 28
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28
One Sunday afternoon, as she unloaded the dishwasher, Gretchen Rubin felt hit by a wave of homesickness. Homesick - why? She was standing right in her own kitchen. She felt homesick, she realized, with love for home itself. In a flash, she decided to undertake a new happiness project, and this time, to focus on home. And what did she want from her home? A place that calmed her, and energized her. A place that, by making her feel safe, would free her to take risks. Also, while Rubin wanted to be happier at home, she wanted to appreciate how much happiness was there already.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Gretchen Rubin, true to form
- By jenna on 2019-01-25
Written by: Gretchen Rubin
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Life in Five Senses
- How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and into the World
- Written by: Gretchen Rubin
- Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 6
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 5
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 5
A Life in Five Senses is an absorbing, layered story of discovery filled with profound insights and practical suggestions about how to heighten our senses and use our powers of perception to live fuller, richer lives—and, ultimately, how to move through the world with more vitality and love.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
About 1/3rd too long
- By Uncle Bosco on 2024-03-28
Written by: Gretchen Rubin
-
Outer Order, Inner Calm
- Declutter and Organize to Make More Room for Happiness
- Written by: Gretchen Rubin
- Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
- Length: 2 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 68
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 60
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 58
Gretchen Rubin has found that getting control of our stuff makes us feel more in control of our lives. By getting rid of things we don't use, don't need, or don't love, we free our minds (and our shelves) for what we truly value. With a sense of fun, and a clear idea of what's realistic for most people, Gretchen Rubin suggests dozens of manageable steps for creating a more serene, orderly environment - one that helps us to create the lives we want.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Not much there
- By Andrea Kevan on 2019-03-15
Written by: Gretchen Rubin
-
The Science of Getting Started
- How to Beat Procrastination, Summon Productivity, and Stop Self-Sabotage
- Written by: Patrick King
- Narrated by: Russell Newton
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 37
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 33
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33
Outsmart your lazy and undisciplined tendencies. Become a productivity machine and achieve your goals in record time. Procrastination is the monster that we are always running from. It lurks around every corner, and can completely sabotage your life. But you can learn to defeat it every time. A blueprint for getting into motion from a complete standstill. Understand and defeat your psychological blocks. The Science of Getting Started is a deep dive into our tendency to push things until the last minute possible.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
This book has helped
- By Lindsay Doucet on 2022-01-06
Written by: Patrick King
-
Better Than Before
- Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives
- Written by: Gretchen Rubin
- Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
- Length: 9 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 84
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 67
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 67
The author of the blockbuster New York Times best sellers The Happiness Project and Happier at Home tackles the critical question: How do we change? Gretchen Rubin's answer: through habits. Habits are the invisible architecture of everyday life. It takes work to make a habit, but once that habit is set, we can harness the energy of habits to build happier, stronger, more productive lives.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
No new insights, but a good read.
- By Andrew Beatty on 2018-01-19
Written by: Gretchen Rubin
-
The Happiness Project
- Written by: Gretchen Rubin
- Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 146
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 124
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 124
Gretchen Rubin had an epiphany one rainy afternoon in the unlikeliest of places: a city bus. "The days are long, but the years are short," she realized. "Time is passing, and I'm not focusing enough on the things that really matter." In that moment, she decided to dedicate a year to her happiness project.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Pragmatic and Delightful
- By Six on 2020-01-26
Written by: Gretchen Rubin
-
Happier at Home
- Kiss More, Jump More, Abandon a Project, Read Samuel Johnson, and My Other Experiments in the Practice of Everyday Life
- Written by: Gretchen Rubin
- Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 32
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 28
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28
One Sunday afternoon, as she unloaded the dishwasher, Gretchen Rubin felt hit by a wave of homesickness. Homesick - why? She was standing right in her own kitchen. She felt homesick, she realized, with love for home itself. In a flash, she decided to undertake a new happiness project, and this time, to focus on home. And what did she want from her home? A place that calmed her, and energized her. A place that, by making her feel safe, would free her to take risks. Also, while Rubin wanted to be happier at home, she wanted to appreciate how much happiness was there already.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Gretchen Rubin, true to form
- By jenna on 2019-01-25
Written by: Gretchen Rubin
-
Life in Five Senses
- How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and into the World
- Written by: Gretchen Rubin
- Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 6
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 5
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 5
A Life in Five Senses is an absorbing, layered story of discovery filled with profound insights and practical suggestions about how to heighten our senses and use our powers of perception to live fuller, richer lives—and, ultimately, how to move through the world with more vitality and love.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
About 1/3rd too long
- By Uncle Bosco on 2024-03-28
Written by: Gretchen Rubin
-
Outer Order, Inner Calm
- Declutter and Organize to Make More Room for Happiness
- Written by: Gretchen Rubin
- Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
- Length: 2 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 68
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 60
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 58
Gretchen Rubin has found that getting control of our stuff makes us feel more in control of our lives. By getting rid of things we don't use, don't need, or don't love, we free our minds (and our shelves) for what we truly value. With a sense of fun, and a clear idea of what's realistic for most people, Gretchen Rubin suggests dozens of manageable steps for creating a more serene, orderly environment - one that helps us to create the lives we want.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Not much there
- By Andrea Kevan on 2019-03-15
Written by: Gretchen Rubin
-
The Science of Getting Started
- How to Beat Procrastination, Summon Productivity, and Stop Self-Sabotage
- Written by: Patrick King
- Narrated by: Russell Newton
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 37
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 33
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33
Outsmart your lazy and undisciplined tendencies. Become a productivity machine and achieve your goals in record time. Procrastination is the monster that we are always running from. It lurks around every corner, and can completely sabotage your life. But you can learn to defeat it every time. A blueprint for getting into motion from a complete standstill. Understand and defeat your psychological blocks. The Science of Getting Started is a deep dive into our tendency to push things until the last minute possible.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
This book has helped
- By Lindsay Doucet on 2022-01-06
Written by: Patrick King
What listeners say about The Four Tendencies
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 2019-04-26
Very useful!
As an upholder with a husband who is an obliger really helped me understand him better. Love Gretchen and all the content she produces
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Sarah Langley
- 2019-03-16
Eye opening!
I heard about this book on a podcast I was listening to. I did a bit more research and knew I had to listen to it. Ive learned so much about myself, the patterns of my past and the dynamic of my marriage. I’m gonna share this book with all my friends!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tabitha power
- 2019-07-01
What a game changer this book has been for me!
I absolutely loved this book and all of Gretchen's work. I am a polyamorous questioner and I am partnered with two rebels, it's so fascinating to finally feel like I have the key to unlock so much of what has felt like hitting my head against the wall with not being able to understand their decision processes. I feel like I understand myself and them better now.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
- Mark Wiebe
- 2019-09-21
life changing
life changer. as a rebel I've always struggled to move forward especially in my business. now I know why and how to work around my tendency!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Dawn Saprunoff
- 2018-09-11
A Must read!
This book has helped me beyond words that I can express.
I'm an obligor and I have finally figured out why I do the things I do and what keeps me going thanks to this book.
I've recently bought copies for most of my girlfriends and insisted that everybody read it.
I'm beyond grateful for this knowledge that I have it's improved my marriage and my relationship with myself.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- E. Coates
- 2018-09-18
Eye opening!
A great "manual" for working and living with different personality types, and understanding why you do certain things. The narrator is engaging and the story is well laid out, giving examples of each personality type and how to interact with those different from your personality type. Raising an Obliger and a Questioner means I have to phrase things differently depending on who I am talking to. So very helpful! #Audible1
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Diana S.
- 2023-01-17
Useful book
Though I questioned the tendencies at first and took awhile to wrap my head around the ideas in the book, once I did I found it very useful. I will likely reread this book and take some notes on it if some key points.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ken M
- 2019-09-01
Awesome tool
Enjoyed this book. Excellent clarity in understanding the four tendencies and how to work with those different from oneself. Thank you
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 2023-07-03
A MUST-READ for anyone who wants to lead or influence others
Also very useful in understanding our own tendencies and patterns and those around us, how to reduce the friction and resistance, and become more effective in leading ourselves and others.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kris Rostecki
- 2021-05-28
Easy to digest and assimilate
I wish I had had this information earlier in life!! ( says the questioner with endless need for more info) 😆
Very simple. Very helpful. Looking forward to putting into use in my day to day communications! Thank you!
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1 person found this helpful