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The Four Tendencies

The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)

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The Four Tendencies

Written by: Gretchen Rubin
Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
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About this listen

 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Are you an Upholder, a Questioner, an Obliger, or a Rebel? From the author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project comes a groundbreaking analysis of personality type that “will immediately improve every area of your life” (Melissa Urban, co-founder of the Whole30).

During her multibook investigation into human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question “How do I respond to expectations?” we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies:

• Upholders meet outer and inner expectations readily. “Discipline is my freedom.”
• Questioners meet inner expectations, but meet outer expectations only if they make sense. “If you convince me why, I’ll comply.”
• Obligers (the largest Tendency) meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet inner expectations—therefore, they need outer accountability to meet inner expectations. “You can count on me, and I’m counting on you to count on me.”
• Rebels (the smallest group) resist all expectations, outer and inner alike. They do what they choose to do, when they choose to do it, and typically they don’t tell themselves what to do. “You can’t make me, and neither can I.”

Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. It’s far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.

With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. Personal Development Personal Finance Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Happiness Witty Funny Career Business
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As an upholder with a husband who is an obliger really helped me understand him better. Love Gretchen and all the content she produces

Very useful!

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I heard about this book on a podcast I was listening to. I did a bit more research and knew I had to listen to it. Ive learned so much about myself, the patterns of my past and the dynamic of my marriage. I’m gonna share this book with all my friends!

Eye opening!

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life changer. as a rebel I've always struggled to move forward especially in my business. now I know why and how to work around my tendency!

life changing

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This book has helped me beyond words that I can express.
I'm an obligor and I have finally figured out why I do the things I do and what keeps me going thanks to this book.
I've recently bought copies for most of my girlfriends and insisted that everybody read it.
I'm beyond grateful for this knowledge that I have it's improved my marriage and my relationship with myself.

A Must read!

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A great "manual" for working and living with different personality types, and understanding why you do certain things. The narrator is engaging and the story is well laid out, giving examples of each personality type and how to interact with those different from your personality type. Raising an Obliger and a Questioner means I have to phrase things differently depending on who I am talking to. So very helpful! #Audible1

Eye opening!

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