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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, Revised and Updated

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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Written by: John M. Gottman PhD, Nan Silver
Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
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About this listen

Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.

This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©1999, 2015 John Mordechai Gottman, PhD, and Nan Silver (P)2020 Tantor
Conflict Management Love & Romance Marriage Relationships Romance Marriage Help Successful Marriage

What listeners say about The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

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Overall very helpful

There are a lot of hetero-normative examples. I could do without all the gender stereotypes, but the principles are what’s important. If you can get past the conservatism, it’s very helpful

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1 person found this helpful

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Lifetime tool

Worth it. Worth the time. Worth the money. Lifetime tool to be revise consistently by both partners as a team.

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1 person found this helpful

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Marriage and relationships

This is the golden book on making your marriage and relationships work and thrive. Highly recommend!!

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4 people found this helpful

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Great advice

With very practical examples and exercises to do between couples
Great ideas for resolution of conflict

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2 people found this helpful

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Must read

Great book on how to build the marriage you’ve always wanted. Breaks down the importance and why of of each step and then thoroughly explains how to do - both individual and couple exercises.

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2 people found this helpful

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100% worth it !

Great content and easy to listen to. I even got in in paper form to take notes and make post-it all over it !

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Helpful for any relationship

This book was recommended to me by a couples counsellor. Is applicable even if you’re not married yet. It’s probably worth buying a hard copy for the exercises as they’re hard to manage in the audiobook. But for the written content, the audiobook is great.

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Helpful Principles

Helped understand relationships. Insight to self help. Good examples for relationships and love in family.

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Great book for anyone

This book reveals key concepts that make or break marriages. I especially liked the concept of "Four horsemen of the apocalypse" that sabotages the conversation and the relationship with the partner. I think many insights I learned from this book can be applied to other types of relationships, not just marriages. So this book is great for anyone who wants to develop a lasting and meaningful relationship - which is everyone. I appreciated the example dialogues as well as the narrator's attempts to differentiate the male and the female speakers.
This book's biggest weakness was the "workbook" portion. At the end of each chapter, the narrator read every single item on the checklist and the options. I thought this worked for some lists, such as the list of phrases that show appreciation to the partner, and the list of phrases that clearly signal repair attempts. But I found that they dragged the overall pace of the book. Towards the end I had a hard time concentrating on the words even though they were some of the best parts of the book. "The Men's Guide to Women" was written by the same author and read by the same narrator. I enjoyed that book because the jokes were better and it had "cheat sheets for heroes" at the end of each chapter that was easy to understand and remember. I was able to focus on the content until the very end. I wonder if a similar formatting could have been applied here, and leave those workbooks as PDF attachments.
At any rate, the key concepts are clearly explained and I learned a lot from this book. I highly recommend it.

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13 people found this helpful

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Great Content, Not for Audiobook

I purchased this on audiobook and listened to it twice. The content gets very distorted between the many questionnaires when listening. It seems like it would be a great workbook for your relationship, but reasonably hard to follow on when listening. There are a few ideas that I almost laughed out loud, but for the most part it seemed pretty good. There are lots of takeaways, but at the first it seemed like the author bragging about how he could pick out people who will divorce (which might not be what you want to hear when you purchase a book like this). I'd probably recommend buying this book and going through the exercises and forgo the audiobook version. For audiobook, I'd recommend the 5 love languages or Attached before this. Cheers!

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