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  • What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat

  • Written by: Aubrey Gordon
  • Narrated by: Samara Naeymi
  • Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
  • 4.9 out of 5 stars (131 ratings)

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What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat

Written by: Aubrey Gordon
Narrated by: Samara Naeymi
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Publisher's Summary

From the creator of Your Fat Friend and co-host of the Maintenance Phase podcast, an explosive indictment of the systemic and cultural bias facing plus-size people.

Anti-fatness is everywhere. In What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat, Aubrey Gordon unearths the cultural attitudes and social systems that have led to people being denied basic needs because they are fat and calls for social justice movements to be inclusive of plus-sized people’s experiences. Unlike the recent wave of memoirs and quasi self-help books that encourage listeners to love and accept themselves, Gordon pushes the discussion further towards authentic fat activism, which includes ending legal weight discrimination, giving equal access to health care for large people, increased access to public spaces, and ending anti-fat violence. As she argues, “I did not come to body positivity for self-esteem. I came to it for social justice.”

By sharing her experiences as well as those of others - from smaller fat to very fat people - she concludes that to be fat in our society is to be seen as an undeniable failure, unlovable, unforgivable, and morally condemnable. Fatness is an open invitation for others to express disgust, fear, and insidious concern. To be fat is to be denied humanity and empathy. Studies show that fat survivors of sexual assault are less likely to be believed and less likely than their thin counterparts to report various crimes; 27 percent of very fat women and 13 percent of very fat men attempt suicide; over 50 percent of doctors describe their fat patients as “awkward, unattractive, ugly and noncompliant”; and in 48 states, it’s legal - even routine - to deny employment because of an applicant’s size.

Advancing fat justice and changing prejudicial structures and attitudes will require work from all people. What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat is a crucial tool to create a tectonic shift in the way we see, talk about, and treat our bodies, fat and thin alike.

©2020 Aubrey Gordon (P)2020 Beacon Press

What the critics say

“Everyone who has a fat family member, friend, acquaintance, or coworker should read this insightful book.”
Library Journal, Starred Review

“Gordon provides candid storytelling and critical analysis in this validating and inclusive read.”
Ms. Magazine

“Writing from a personal and cultural perspective, Gordon goes beyond cosmetic complaints to undress the depths of anti-fat bias and discrimination, ultimately rallying for a social justice movement to form and broaden the scope of the conversation.”
CultureShift

What listeners say about What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat

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Everyone with a body needs to read/listen to this

My review title really says it all. If you have a body or know anyone with a body... you should read this. For anyone who has been concerned for the health of someone who is fat, you should read this.

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  • AC
  • 2021-06-15

Insightful and thought-provoking

I love Aubrey on the Maintenance Phase podcast, so while I missed her voice as the narrator, Samara did an excellent job of bringing life and emotion to the book. The candid recollections of experiences (and their lasting impact) coupled with science and statistics made for a compelling listen... it was over too soon!

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  • G
  • 2022-01-12

Love Aubrey!

Aubrey Gordon is a wonderful writer. I am a frequent listener of her podcast Maintenance Phase, and this book didn’t disappoint. At times heartbreaking; these are important stories and I would recommend to anyone and everyone. This book, as well as her other writing, has completely changed the way I view fat people and weight stigma.

My only critique would be that I wish Aubrey had narrated the book, since she is an excellent speaker. But the narrator is still quite good.

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One for the home shelf

Aubrey Gordon has written a book that everyone (especially straight sized people) should read. This book vulnerably tells the story of so many fat people while also introducing ways to stand up for body justice.

Samara Naeymi does a brilliant job of narrating and gives Gordon’s words life in each page. These two make a great team!

I am incredibly grateful for this book’s existence and so thankful that Aubrey Gordon had the courage to write it.

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Refreshing

It's so clear when you look at society that "wellness culture" (née diet culture) is a 4.5 Trillion dollar scam that harms everyone it touches. The science is telling us that the medical assumptions so often used as weapons are not just wrong but actively opposed to their supposed goal.

I enjoyed this thoroughly while also getting both sad and angry at the state of things.

Great narrator but I wish Audrey Gordon had narrated it herself. (Hint hint, publisher.)

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Heart wrenching

Anyone who has ever struggled with their body image, difficult diets and not feeling good enough will resonate with the message in this book. I’m not entirely sure about the science the author suggests is most accurate about obesity, but the ethical and emotional impact is profound.

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  • ken
  • 2022-05-23

Excellent and check out Maintenance Phase!

Excellent narration and writing with a message I wish everyone would try to understand.

Aubry's "Maintenance Phase" is my all time favourite podcast!

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this was good for me to hear

Great book, I love how Aubrey offered actual reasonable, possible solutions to end fat stigma. I'll be a little more gentle with myself for being fat today. thank you Aubrey.

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  • Amy
  • 2021-08-21

Compelling, well-researched, enlightening

Insightful, at times heart wrenching, Aubrey Gordon paints a very well researched picture of life as a fat person, reflective of my own experiences as well as nuanced about others as well.

It was also well narrated, easy to understand and listen to, and incredibly compelling. A must listen for anyone trying to unlearn structural and societal anti-fatness.

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I loved it

As a black woman, this book brought me a deeper understanding of how i’ve felt in my body and another pov as to why! I enjoyed it.

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