As conversations about banning phones and curbing screen use grow louder, parents are left asking an honest question: Is technology the problem, or are we? In this episode of Facing the Dark, Wayne Stender and Dr. Kathy Koch explore new legislative efforts around screen limits and use them as a springboard for a much more personal conversation about parenting and formation.
Dr. Kathy reframes the issue with clarity and grace: technology itself isn't the enemy, but when it becomes the primary way kids (and adults) cope with boredom or anxiety, something essential is lost. Parents are challenged to look inward first, recognizing that kids will struggle to give up screens if adults aren't willing to do the same. The episode explores why screens often become a refuge for anxious hearts, and why removing them without replacing them leaves kids unprepared to process life well.
Rather than advocating for extremes, the conversation centers on coexisting wisely with technology. Parents are encouraged to build alternative rhythms that include quiet, prayer, creativity, play, conversation, and service, so screens aren't the default solution to every uncomfortable moment. Dr. Kathy also offers a clear, realistic vision for a family tech policy: visible alternatives, no devices in bedrooms, strong boundaries, character based decisions, and parents who are confident enough to say no without guilt.
Grounded in Jesus' teaching about the Sabbath in Mark 2, the episode reminds families that limits are not punishments; they are gifts. Just as rest was designed to restore humanity, wise tech boundaries protect attention and relationships. When children learn that they are valued apart from constant stimulation or connection, they gain freedom rather than restriction. This episode equips parents to lead with humility and courage, helping technology return to its rightful place as a tool, not a ruler.