In this episode we agreed that we both share the desire to save others from distress or upset. It’s a very human quality but can lead to feelings of overwhelm, or of being taken for granted. It also means that, rather than teaching someone how to solve things for themselves, we inadvertently create an inability to manage their own situation in the other person.

Within relationships rescuing may be seen as an expression of a fear that the other person will leave us if we don’t provide help and support. And parents want to protect their children from any hurt or upset, so try and smooth their path through life. However, making mistakes is one of the most effective ways we have of learning.

We discussed how boundaries can be really helpful – teaching others how to treat us and teaching us how to respect ourselves.

Lucy and Adrienne can be contacted through their websites:

www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy)

www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is a very personal one. We discuss why, at times, we aren’t able to support ourselves in the ways we would suggest for our clients. We explore what happens when our emotional resources are low, and the ‘inner critic’ is loud in our head, which tries to get us to think we aren't worth the effort.

If we can take a step back, zoom out, and put a metaphorical arm around our shoulders, treat ourselves as we would treat a friend then we can start to use the techniques that make up our parachutes. Perhaps the most important tool in our box being the act of self-compassion. We are only human after all.

Lucy and Adrienne can be contacted through their websites:

www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy)

www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we discuss how difficult it can be to let go of something we regret like and forgive ourselves for it. We often set ourselves standards that are impossible to live up to; and that we have a tendency to dwell on mistakes, which leads to a sense of guilt and shame.

It is also hard and extremely uncomfortable to process our mistakes; to make sense of them and find the learning. So we lean into self-blame and criticism instead which might stem from the brain trying to find a solution.

The more helpful way, though, is to find the learning, to see mistakes as a chance for change and growth. And to do that, we need to be able to look at the situation and in a kindly way explore what happened and why. How would we respond if a friend had made a mistake, most likely not in the way we generally treat ourselves!

Lucy and Adrienne can be contacted through their websites:

www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy)

www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.