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In this conversation, Michael Erard discusses his work on language, mainly focusing on the first words of babies and the last words of the dying. He shares personal experiences with death, including a profound encounter that shaped his understanding of grief and mourning. The discussion explores the importance of communication at the end of life, the cultural models surrounding death, and the collective experience of dying, emphasizing the significance of verbal and non-verbal communication. In this conversation, we delve into the profound themes surrounding language and communication at the end of life. We explore cultural perspectives on the last words, the significance of agency in the final moments, and the challenges faced in researching end-of-life language. The discussion also touches on the importance of rituals in grief and the potential for rewriting moments of loss. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, we emphasize the power of language and the shared human experience in navigating death and dying.
Michael is a writer, a linguist, a parent, and an immigrant. His work has been mostly about language and languages and the people who use and study them. For the last five years, he has been working on a book about the first words of babies and the last words of the dying as linguistic phenomena, personal curios, and objects of cultural interest. “Bye Bye I Love You: The Story of Our First and Last Words” comes out in February 2025.
Michael sent us a preview, which we thoroughly enjoyed. The results of his studies and his skilled way of sharing the stories made it a compelling read. And the conclusions are fascinating and will be of great value to anyone doing end-of-life care. Michael is also in training to be a Death Doula and is on the advisory board of the Death Languages project, which recently received a grant from the Order of the Good Death.

Links to his new book
Penguin Random House has both hardcover and e-book options
MIT Press has only the hardcover
Michael's Website

Dr Katherine Mannix whom Michael mentioned as an inspiration.

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