- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a man (8)

"What! I no longer need to do traditional 'Talk Therapy', to address my past impactful stuff of life? Tell me more!"

Call it a little “t” trauma – that I cannot even see in my lovely family upbringing or big "T". Trauma isn’t only what happens in the Middle East or Afghanistan. It can be the 6 years old whose action man was taken by the boy down the road and when he went to get it, the boys dad slammed the door in his face and told him to go away. It can be the 7 years old little girl whose friend took her Barbie doll and went off with her best friend and was excluded by the two girls.

Why do they remember those events 30 years later? "What has those events got to do with me getting so, so annoyed when my patner uses MY stuff and doesn't put them back. I don't mind them being used, just put them...."

Getting help can itself be “Shame” and not acceptable to share stuff outside of the family. Many are locked in with their unresolved issues due to culture and family dynamics.

Scientific research has established EMDR as effective for post-traumatic stress. Clinicians also have reported success using EMDR in treatment of the following conditions: Panic attacks, Complicated grief, Dissociative disorders, Disturbing memories, Phobias, Pain disorders, Performance anxiety, Stress reduction, Addictions, Sexual and/or Physical abuse, Body dysmorphic disorders, Personality Disorders…..and many, many more.

“Trauma is the external wound, not the internal event” – Gabor Mate

“Trauma is a story that has not moved on”. It is a “story” because of the truths that your brain made of the event when it unfolded; but it may not be the full reality because of the compromised brain functioning at the time of the event – but it is set up in the body - from what all five senses took in at the time. Get it?

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Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

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Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |