Showing results by author "Christopher D. Schmitz" in All Categories
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50 Shades of Worf: Fried Ch!cken
- Division of Nerd Crime, Book 3
- Written by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Farnsworth and Diego must complete their most difficult undercover mission yet: infiltrating the Alabama Mafia. Not only does the mob want General Saunder’s secret blend of herbs and spices, but they’re willing to fry anybody who gets in their way… after rolling them in breadcrumbs and their proprietary blend of seasonings… even their new celebrity spokesman: Nicholas Cage.
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50 Shades of Worf: Fried Ch!cken
- Division of Nerd Crime, Book 3
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Series: Division of Nerd Crime, Book 3
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Release date: 2024-11-13
- Language: English
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Price: $25.00 or 1 Credit
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Austicon's Lockbox
- Dekker's Dozen
- Written by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Narrated by: James R. Willoughby III
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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When a young journalist disappears after a meeting with the galaxy’s most notorious criminal in a max-lock facility, Dekker Knight and his crew are called to investigate. What they find might very well unravel the political fabric of the core worlds, and the government and its corps of mind readers are committed to keeping their secrets at all costs.
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Austicon's Lockbox
- Dekker's Dozen
- Narrated by: James R. Willoughby III
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Release date: 2020-08-10
- Language: English
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Price: $31.26 or 1 Credit
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50 Shades of Worf
- Written by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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A back-alley brawl between the furries and the bronies. Deadpool cosplayer keeps stealing all the erotic pegasus artwork. Someone's necronomicon opened a tentacle portal in the men’s room. Two cops go undercover at a comic-book convention to stop Wil Wheaton’s murder. You’ll love this buddy cop comicomedy, unless you’re my mom. If you are my mom, please bring me a hot-pocket. I’m in the basement.
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50 Shades of Worf
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
- Release date: 2020-02-12
- Language: English
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The Seed Child of Sippar Sulcus
- Dekker's Dozen (The Armageddon Seed Cycle), Book 4
- Written by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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After the debacle on Galilee, the Division of Confidential Secrets investigates the Dozen and their involvement in the Syndicate, spearheaded by a zealous new director with psychic abilities. As Austicon’s sentencing commences, his nefarious criminal contacts threaten action leaving none better suited to prevent terrorist activities than Dekker and his crew.
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The Seed Child of Sippar Sulcus
- Dekker's Dozen (The Armageddon Seed Cycle), Book 4
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Series: The Armageddon Seed Cycle, Book 4
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Release date: 2019-04-20
- Language: English
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Price: $18.74 or 1 Credit
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Dekker's Dozen: Spawn of Ganymede
- Written by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Length: 2 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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When Dekker and his fellow mercenaries discover that their simple delivery of medical supplies was stolen by a gang of ruthless thugs, they attempt to reclaim the items. Without the drugs, many will fall to a plague ravaging the expansion world. But more than sickness is eliminating the population, and the unexpected threat proves far more sinister than any could expect on such a backwater planet as Galilee.
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Dekker's Dozen: Spawn of Ganymede
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Series: The Armageddon Seed Cycle, Book 3
- Length: 2 hrs and 59 mins
- Release date: 2019-01-04
- Language: English
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One Star
- Written by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Narrated by: Christopher Boozell
- Length: 1 hr and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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After widowed Indie author Kurtis Ward channels his grief into self-publishing his horror novel, an Internet troll decides to skewer his work so viciously that it triggers something deep within Ward - something far fouler than human rage. When Ward tracks down, kidnaps, and tortures his critic, he begins to recognize that the events of his book bear far too many similarities to the world around him. Is this lurker within his mind a product of his grief, or something far worse - could Akko Soggathoth, the horrific beast of Ward’s fiction, be more than a product of his imagination?
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One Star
- Narrated by: Christopher Boozell
- Length: 1 hr and 49 mins
- Release date: 2018-10-11
- Language: English
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Price: $8.71 or 1 Credit
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Dekker's Dozen: Weeds of Eden
- Written by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Length: 2 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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When Dekker Knight and his mercenary crew are hired to ferry an alien diplomat to one of Jupiter's moons, they think they've taken a cakewalk mission. They even allow an old friend to tag along. While things appear odd on Io, things are far worse than they realize: Terrorist activities threaten to fracture the tectonic plates and destroy everything on the surface - and the Dozen are stuck without access to their ship!
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Dekker's Dozen: Weeds of Eden
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Series: The Armageddon Seed Cycle, Book 2
- Length: 2 hrs and 9 mins
- Release date: 2018-10-26
- Language: English
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The Kakos Realm
- Death upon the Fields of Splendor
- Written by: Christopher D Schmitz
- Narrated by: Tom Fria
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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The mysterious Watcher finally arrives as a harbinger of terrible news. He sends Rashnir and Zeh-Ahbe’ on a suicide mission in order to save their friends. Despite the Luciferian Deathsquads, bounty hunters, and a secretly excavated monolith unearthed by Lilth’s wendigo, the ranger and lycan charge headlong into the mouth of danger: the arch-mage’s home at the Temple of Light.
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The Kakos Realm
- Death upon the Fields of Splendor
- Narrated by: Tom Fria
- Series: The Kakos Realm Series, Book 3
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Release date: 2018-10-26
- Language: English
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Rise of the Dragon Impervious
- The Kakos Realm Series, Book 2
- Written by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Narrated by: Thomas Fria
- Length: 10 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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As Rashnir and his friends look for way to escape from Grinden, the demonic prophet Absinthium crowns the warlord Rutheir as king and ratchets up pressure against his enemies. When their travel plans suddenly go awry as they wait for the return of one of the First Elves, the ranger and all of his friends find themselves trapped at the center of an old quarry and facing the unified armies of their enemies - even an army of the dead. Meanwhile, acolytes of the Order unlock the mystic fetters binding an ancient evil that once very nearly toppled even the Gathering.
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Rise of the Dragon Impervious
- The Kakos Realm Series, Book 2
- Narrated by: Thomas Fria
- Series: The Kakos Realm Series, Book 2
- Length: 10 hrs and 33 mins
- Release date: 2018-09-17
- Language: English
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Grinden Proselyte
- The Kakos Realm, Book 1
- Written by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Narrated by: Tom Fria
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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In the Kakos Realm, a place of mythology and magic, the brutal murder of his fiancée drives Rashnir, the leader of the Ranger's guild, to utter madness! His lust for revenge, finally fulfilled, ultimately leaves him hollow and cast off from society. Now, devoted to a newfound cause, he finds himself befriended by an outcast werewolf clan which cannot shape-shift, a pair of angels, and a mute orphan. But his mission spurns the demon-worshipping prophet and his deadly acolytes.
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Grinden Proselyte
- The Kakos Realm, Book 1
- Narrated by: Tom Fria
- Series: The Kakos Realm Series, Book 1
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Release date: 2018-08-27
- Language: English
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Grandma Ethel's Donuts and Hollowpoints
- Written by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Length: 1 hr and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Grandma Ethel's got a long day ahead of her: a pile of cancer medications, a fistful of bullets, and a plate full of donuts. Good thing her car does zero to 60 in 3.5 seconds...if only she could see over the steering wheel.
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Grandma Ethel's Donuts and Hollowpoints
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Length: 1 hr and 5 mins
- Release date: 2018-08-21
- Language: English
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Shadows of a Superhero
- Written by: Christopher D Schmitz
- Narrated by: Voice Cat LLC, Doug Spence
- Length: 53 mins
- Unabridged
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The Light is his city's patron superhero. As his sidekick Red, Zach Redinger, is suddenly thrust into a world without his champion after the mighty TL falls to a mysterious super-powered madman known only as Black. Now Red, a speedster named Janet, and Franklin (The Light's wheelchair-bound former side-kick,) must find Black and prevent his horrible plans from coming to fruition. If they can't pinpoint this maniac before his doomsday weapon is activated tomorrow might not come for anyone.
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Shadows of a Superhero
- Narrated by: Voice Cat LLC, Doug Spence
- Length: 53 mins
- Release date: 2016-06-08
- Language: English
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Price: $5.22 or 1 Credit
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Dekker's Dozen
- The Last Watchmen
- Written by: Christopher D Schmitz
- Narrated by: Richard Coombs
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Following the Intergalactic Singularity War, Dekker Knight, mercenary and collector of arcane artifacts, works for the highest bidder - but he doesn't take just any job. One in particular, transporting Austicon - the assassin who stalked his family for generations - to a max-lock detention, was supposed to close a dark chapter in Dekker's life. After Earth's constables botch Austicon's incarceration, Dekker's team is forced to hunt down the galaxies' most heinous criminal all over again.
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Dekker's Dozen
- The Last Watchmen
- Narrated by: Richard Coombs
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Release date: 2016-07-12
- Language: English
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Dekker's Dozen
- A Waxing Arbolean Moon
- Written by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Narrated by: Christopher D Schmitz
- Length: 46 mins
- Unabridged
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The demon Dione existed before the dawn of time. Surely she was created alongside the very Divine Machine she came to loathe so much. From Dione's seduction by Asmodeus and imprisonment at the hands of King Solomon to her release by an unwitting archaeologist, the timeline is punctuated with the baal's influence and its counters by the time-traveling Ezekiel who repels the Arbolean invasion during the infancy of the Akkadian Empire with the weapons of an ancient Greek tinkerer.
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Dekker's Dozen
- A Waxing Arbolean Moon
- Narrated by: Christopher D Schmitz
- Series: The Armageddon Seed Cycle, Book 1
- Length: 46 mins
- Release date: 2016-06-10
- Language: English
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Price: $5.22 or 1 Credit
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Why Your Pastor Left
- Written by: Christopher D Schmitz
- Narrated by: Philip Benoit
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Moments after our pastor exited the building that afternoon in 2008, most of the congregation sat in shock. A tiny but powerful minority wore victorious smiles at the minister's ousting. The lady to my left wept. Her pleading question kept me awake all night. "Why did our pastor have to leave?" Polls reveal startling statistics regarding pastoral ministry: 91 percent of ministers know three to four others who've been forced out of pastoral positions.
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Why Your Pastor Left
- Narrated by: Philip Benoit
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Release date: 2016-05-25
- Language: English
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Price: $26.40 or 1 Credit
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The TGSPGoSSP 2-Part Trilogy
- Written by: Christopher D Schmitz
- Narrated by: Christopher D Schmitz
- Length: 54 mins
- Unabridged
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The TGSPGoSSP is a bit of a comedic acting troupe. Their 2-Part Trilogy mocks our beloved niches in genre fiction. All three books take the usual shots at the usual suspects, both fantasy and sci-fi. If you like dark, deadpan humor and satire such as Monty Python, this title might be your cup of tea.
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The TGSPGoSSP 2-Part Trilogy
- Narrated by: Christopher D Schmitz
- Length: 54 mins
- Release date: 2016-11-07
- Language: English
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Price: $4.95 or 1 Credit
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The Last Black Eye of Antigo Vale
- Written by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Antigo is the last of his family line in a town that has long forgotten ancient pledges and rites which bind the mythic and monstrous Skekstatsiis within the forest. Tradition maintains Antigo must become a man by the end of harvest or those eldritch fetters will shatter. Unceremoniously passed over again by all suitors, Antigo finds the corpse of a friend. Convinced of the Skekstatsiis's return, the elders write it off as fairytale and delusion, or worse: a plot by the Trade League to disrupt the harvest!
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The Last Black Eye of Antigo Vale
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Release date: 2016-06-14
- Language: English
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Price: $9.20 or 1 Credit
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50 Shades of Worf: Darker Ages
- Written by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Length: 5 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Farnsworth and Diego are back, leading the newly appointed Division of Nerd Crime into the black heart of the regional Renaissance Festival where someone has stolen celebrity D&D gamer Vin Diesel’s identity.
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50 Shades of Worf: Darker Ages
- Narrated by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Series: Division of Nerd Crime, Book 2
- Length: 5 hrs and 24 mins
- Release date: 2022-12-21
- Language: English
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The Crow and the Troll
- Curse of the Fey Duelist
- Written by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Narrated by: Brenna Castor
- Length: 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Remy Keaton is Aderyn Corff—the Death Bird—and a notorious assassin of the unseelie court. But what the fey don’t know is that Remy is a human, and that Remy hates killing. Too bad he’s so good at it.
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The Crow and the Troll
- Curse of the Fey Duelist
- Narrated by: Brenna Castor
- Length: 53 mins
- Release date: 2023-06-21
- Language: English
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Price: $5.04 or 1 Credit
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A Kiss of Daggers
- Curse of the Fey Duelist, Book 1
- Written by: Christopher D. Schmitz
- Narrated by: Brenna Colleen Castor
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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A childhood tragedy trapped Remy Keaton in the fey world with nothing but a blade forged by his need for vengeance. He doesn’t remember his human life before that day, but long ago he learned the harsh ways of the seelie and unseelie courts. When Remy rescues the daughter of a wealthy elven merchant from bandits, he falls madly in love with her.
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A Kiss of Daggers
- Curse of the Fey Duelist, Book 1
- Narrated by: Brenna Colleen Castor
- Series: Curse of the Fey Duelist, Book 1
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Release date: 2023-12-08
- Language: English
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Price: $15.14 or 1 Credit
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