Showing results by author "Lancelot Schaubert" in All Categories
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2π28.57mm
- Vale Short Stories, Book 12
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 18 mins
- Unabridged
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I woke to a mass of men writhing and broken, moving as one in their attempt to reach that great circle of light. They looked like ants, but ants without exoskeletons: their soft bits shredding, their hard bits breaking, to make a sort of chicken-leg jello out of humanity. The cries of pain and cries of triumph mixed. But one man keeps saying, "2π28.57mm. 2π28.57mm. 2π28.57mm.” Pointing at the circle of light. Claiming he cut it. Cut what? And why?
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2π28.57mm
- Vale Short Stories, Book 12
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Series: Vale Short Stories, Book 12
- Length: 18 mins
- Release date: 2021-03-10
- Language: English
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Penmanship Faculties
- Vale Short Stories, Book 15
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Went to the doctor, complained about my immune system, asked about supplements. He smirked. Asked him if something's funny. He called American supplements ignorant. Said he had something better, just approved. "Nanoimmunity bot". Looked like aspirin. Dumb price, but insurance would pay, so... It engineers new paths toward health, teaches my body to adapt to "health threats".
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Penmanship Faculties
- Vale Short Stories, Book 15
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 18 mins
- Release date: 2020-12-30
- Language: English
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Pigment
- Vale Short Stories, Book 14
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 19 mins
- Unabridged
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How can one cave man stack wood, build fire, hunt beast, and clean nail? Especially since they’d lost their water basins on top of...well...on top of every tool for survival she’d gathered over the years. Lost them because he didn’t know how to protect violent, crude tools he didn’t know how to use.
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Pigment
- Vale Short Stories, Book 14
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 19 mins
- Release date: 2020-12-22
- Language: English
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The Blimps of Venus
- An ARC Short Story
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Sadie Pepperrell
- Length: 48 mins
- Unabridged
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When the æristocracy decides to withdraw their blimps from the Venusian economy and head back to an abandoned Earth, the surf-turned-æristocrat Sir Thomas begins tearing down their entire economy in order to save millions of lives. A dystopian sci-fi about class warfare, The Blimps of Venus shows us the true motives behind eugenics and other evils.
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The Blimps of Venus
- An ARC Short Story
- Narrated by: Sadie Pepperrell
- Length: 48 mins
- Release date: 2020-12-01
- Language: English
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Of Gods and Globes
- Written by: Emily Munro, Lancelot Schaubert, Anne Greenwood Brown, and others
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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From what we have relearned in recent history about the way magnetism, gravity, centrifugal and centripetal force, as well as the many other forces one giant body exerts upon another, we know the medievalists had it right all along. When the moon gets too close and too bright, it makes us crazy. In that spirit, editor Lancelot Schaubert rounded up sci-fi and fantasy writers Anne Greenwood Brown, Juliet Marillier, LJ Cohen, Anthony G. Cirilla, FC Shultz, and Emily Munro to write about cosmic influence.
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Of Gods and Globes
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Release date: 2020-11-24
- Language: English
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Price: $18.74 or 1 Credit
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The Encounter Stories
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: T.J. Allen
- Length: 32 mins
- Unabridged
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How do teenagers confront the problems of life in real, hard ways? These stories - all originally published in Encounter - were written with teenagers in mind. Each one has a unique flair for addressing very specific problems, but all of them will delight as much as any of the other work by Lancelot Schaubert.
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The Encounter Stories
- Narrated by: T.J. Allen
- Length: 32 mins
- Release date: 2020-11-19
- Language: English
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Of Gods and Globes II: A Cosmic Anthology
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert, Kaaron Warren, Howard Andrew Jones, and others
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Once more, my friends and colleagues and I have banded together to compose literature connecting astronomy and mythology to create Of Gods and Globes II. Each one of us chose a name that connected astronomy and mythology.
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Of Gods and Globes II: A Cosmic Anthology
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Release date: 2020-11-12
- Language: English
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Price: $31.26 or 1 Credit
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16 oz.
- Vale Short Stories, Book 11
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Out of time and place, Wreaker walks into a coffee shop on Long Island. They do not take gold bullion for payment. They do not hand pluck their tea leaves from the tree of life. Their tables can't even support the weight of Öfugr, his sacred ancient weapon. So how will he ever get his coffee?
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16 oz.
- Vale Short Stories, Book 11
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Series: Vale Short Stories, Book 11
- Length: 8 mins
- Release date: 2020-08-06
- Language: English
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The Blissful Dreams of Long Ago: An Alzheimer's Short Story
- Vale Short Stories, Book 1
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Theo Holland
- Length: 21 mins
- Unabridged
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This story made the editor cry every time he read it. Most stories about Alzheimer's and dementia end with a depressing note, a bleak hope, a grasping at humanity as everything, eventually, fades. This story features a grown man whose dreams of tomorrow and his liturgy of life root him in the very reality of his existence, giving hope for all families who have ever had to deal with this disease.
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The Blissful Dreams of Long Ago: An Alzheimer's Short Story
- Vale Short Stories, Book 1
- Narrated by: Theo Holland
- Series: Vale Short Stories, Book 1
- Length: 21 mins
- Release date: 2020-08-06
- Language: English
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Earth Swallowed
- Vale Short Stories, Book 5
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 14 mins
- Unabridged
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A blue-collar hoarder sorts through the treasures of his lost past while his kids play on the scaffolding outside. He keeps ignoring the tremors in both the memories and the present.
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Earth Swallowed
- Vale Short Stories, Book 5
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Series: Vale Short Stories, Book 5
- Length: 14 mins
- Release date: 2020-07-21
- Language: English
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When Timbers Start (A Bell Hammers Short)
- Vale Short Stories, Book 4
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Originally published in The New Haven Review, this story features a young married couple who struggle through the rough landscape of Southern Illinois in the late 1950s. They argue over the purchase of a five-dollar-a-month Sears and Roebuck kitchen table, but it ends up saving lives.
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When Timbers Start (A Bell Hammers Short)
- Vale Short Stories, Book 4
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Series: Vale Short Stories, Book 4
- Length: 11 mins
- Release date: 2020-07-20
- Language: English
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∞ Falls 1 Stand
- Vale Short Stories, Book 9
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 14 mins
- Unabridged
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As aliens from the future try to deny the reality of the Joplin falls due to its prevalence in 21st-century art, Stacy uses everything in his power to defend the river and the falling water.
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∞ Falls 1 Stand
- Vale Short Stories, Book 9
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Series: Vale Short Stories, Book 9
- Length: 14 mins
- Release date: 2020-07-02
- Language: English
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Portrait of the Nonartist
- Vale Short Stories, Book 8
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Mom and dad wanted him to write the next great American novel, so he had a typewriter gathering dust in a closet. They wanted him to compose a symphony that would get him to Julliard or at least U of I. They wanted him to DJ the local radio and work his way up to NBC or even the Tonight Show as a comedian. They focused on so many routes to his future fortune (which would be theirs as well) and future fame that he ended up rebelling his way into mediocrity. But he could drive a truck, by God. Wasn't that worth giving your life to? Blood and all?
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Portrait of the Nonartist
- Vale Short Stories, Book 8
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Series: Vale Short Stories, Book 8
- Length: 19 mins
- Release date: 2020-06-29
- Language: English
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160 Lug Nuts
- Vale Short Stories, Book 10
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Who in Galactic Central Command gives a rip about some lug nuts and a requisition form? I mean, who really cares that a systems engineer ordered 160 of them? Except those lug nuts changed everything and now he's called before a court marshal under accusation for treason, mutiny, theft, and murder. All because of those 160 lug nuts. What's so important about a bagful of hardware?
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160 Lug Nuts
- Vale Short Stories, Book 10
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Series: Vale Short Stories, Book 10
- Length: 12 mins
- Release date: 2020-06-29
- Language: English
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Womb Rovers
- An A.R.C. Short Story
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Theo Holland
- Length: 33 mins
- Unabridged
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At 10-feet, four inches tall, Gowanus was the runt of the litter. Working the mines of No’ad took strength and height, unless you had the smarts to be able to help the dwarves invent and build new mining tools. He didn’t have smarts and didn’t have height, and yet his curiosity got the better of him: Where had Sakima gone? In an attempt to find the rogue giant Sakima, Gowanus learns the secret to how the giants have spread so far, so fast and comes face-to-face with the worst betrayal of giant-kind.
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Womb Rovers
- An A.R.C. Short Story
- Narrated by: Theo Holland
- Length: 33 mins
- Release date: 2019-11-20
- Language: English
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Carry Cannons by Our Side
- An A.R.C. Story
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Theo Holland
- Length: 49 mins
- Unabridged
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A young pirate-in-training shadows his dad as his father chases down the man who stole his cargo. Confronted with cannons, the young pirate fears their tiny 15-man crew will die quickly, but his father shows him a magic more powerful than all the cannon fire in the world. The only problem? It's not iron and cotton the other pirate stole.
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Carry Cannons by Our Side
- An A.R.C. Story
- Narrated by: Theo Holland
- Length: 49 mins
- Release date: 2019-11-20
- Language: English
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Wilderness
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Theo Holland
- Length: 1 hr and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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When a 17-year-old track star turns up mangled and dead on the switchback road by the Crescent Hotel, his poker crew grows suspicious of one another. Ebur, a retired cowboy, finds himself in the middle of a once-trustworthy group who all knew and loved Brady. Or did they? And can he trust them if they think he killed the boy? Covering the broad swatch of lifestyles and struggles in off-peak Eureka Springs, Wilderness asks hard questions about retired men and those who try to tame them.
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Wilderness
- Narrated by: Theo Holland
- Length: 1 hr and 14 mins
- Release date: 2018-05-11
- Language: English
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Price: $8.71 or 1 Credit
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RANCID
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert | Mark Neuenschwander | Matt Otey | Jeremiah Jones
- Original Recording
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Whether you love or hate spoilers, Rancid is for you: in every episode, we pick a film that two of us have seen and try to spoil it for the other one. We always fail. It proves that spoilers make us want to see the film even more, mainly because the only people who are good at spoilers are the masters themselves. Shakespeare spoiled Caesar. Dante spoiled Virgil. Sex spoiled And The City. You get the idea. Come roll in the filth of ruined everything and find yourself remarkably cleaner than before. Come be Rancid with us.
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Bell Hammers
- The True Folk Tale of Little Egypt, Illinois
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Remmy grows up with Beth in Bellhammer, Illinois as oil and coal companies rob the land of everything that made it paradise. Under his Grandad, he learns how to properly prank his neighbors, friends, and foes. Beth tries to fix Remmy by taking him to church. Under his Daddy, Remmy starts the Bell Hammer Construction Company, which depends on contracts from Texarco Oil.
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Bell Hammers
- The True Folk Tale of Little Egypt, Illinois
- Narrated by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Release date: 2023-03-09
- Language: English
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Price: $25.24 or 1 Credit
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Tap and Die
- Written by: Lancelot Schaubert
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 2 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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A cowboy separated from his wife visits an ambassador's gala above an active volcano. Magical terrorists attack. Separated from his clothes and family, he must wield a lightning wand against an invading army in hopes to set the fantastic world's diplomats free.
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Tap and Die
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 2 hrs and 13 mins
- Release date: 2023-09-28
- Language: English
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