Conversations With Cinthia

Auteur(s): Cinthia Hiett
  • Résumé

  • Are you ready to be encouraged, inspired and ener…
    2024 Cinthia Hiett
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  • Ten Ways to Quickly Boost Your Good Vibes (11-24-24 - Replay of 8-11-24)
    Nov 24 2024

    The phrase “good vibes” has been around for a few decades now, and it is sometimes associated with cultural eccentricity. In fact, however, the phrase can be associated with electricity because the human body has electrical currents that travel up to 120 meters per second. The electricity in our bodies is real, and it is impacted by our habits, particularly those that involve mental hygiene. If you want to boost your positive vibes quickly, here are ten things you can do. Some of them may sound similar, but the nuances are different.

    1. Think positively. This does not mean brainwashing yourself to believe what is not true or ignoring what needs to be fixed, but it does mean you look for what is really, truly good instead of automatically assuming the bad.
    2. Strengthen your memory for positive information. Your brain wants to help you by detecting threats early, so it often holds onto the negative memories. But you can purposely direct your brain to remember the positive things, too. Use recall for good.
    3. Stop minimizing your successes. Often we do this out of an attempt to be polite or humble, but dismissing what is good is not really either one. Your successes are important, and it might not look like anyone else’s successes. What is big for you? Wins are different for every single human. Do not push away compliments.
    4. Exercise control of your thoughts. Thinking changes the brain. Take control of your own mind. Think of your brain like a self-driving car: it can do lots of cool things and definitely has an autopilot function, but you still need to be at the wheel to be safe and use autopilot effectively.
    5. Use negativity wisely. Some things are truly bad. Some negative thoughts are true and need to be acknowledged. This is different than using negativity as your default. Acknowledge reality, and move in the best direction you can in response to it.
    6. Practice gratitude. Your brain and body love it; gratitude does wonderful things for them.
    7. Accept and validate your own feelings, but don’t believe everything they tell you. Remember, feelings are very real, but they are not always true. Gather the information they offer, but sort it through before making decisions.
    8. Accept that pain is inevitable and that you can choose gain in the pain. Many of us today want to avoid pain at all costs, but pain is often part of achieving important things.
    9. Control your behavior. Adults do this. We accept that children are learning to control themselves and will not always succeed, but, if you are an adult, hold yourself accountable as an adult.
    10. Judge yourself in a helpful way in order to determine what to do differently, rather than a condemning way that uses past mistakes to self-shame or beat yourself up. Acknowledging reality allows you to forgive yourself and move forward, making right what you can and accepting that you cannot change the past.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    43 min
  • The Truth Will Set You Free (11-17-24)
    Nov 17 2024
    There are a lot of ideas about truth. Some people think it does not exist; some think it cannot be known. Some see it as personal and encourage speaking “your truth” as if the word “truth” were the same as the words “experience” or “perspective.” This is not a new phenomenon; when Jesus told Pilate that He had come into the world “to bear witness to the truth” and that “everyone who is of the truth listens to [His] voice,” Pilate dismissed His statements with the philosophical question, “What is truth?” and went on to hand Jesus over for crucifixion. But truth does exist, and it is powerful. In John 14:6, Jesus calls Himself “the truth.” In John 8:31b-32, He said, “If you abide in My word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” These are powerful statements that say much about the identity of Jesus, the purpose and destiny of human beings, and the relationship with Him that God offers. The latter also tells us that one of the qualities of truth is its ability to free us – lies can relieve the pain of our chains for a little while, but truth can set us free. There is nothing more painful, freeing, cleansing, elevating, or grounding than the truth. We love the truth and hate it, need it and run from it. Truth can be hard to hear, hard to say, and hard to accept. The freedom it offers is not necessarily a freedom from pain. Have you ever had one of those moments in which you realized something was true and could not deny it, and it was tough, and it hurt, but it also gave you relief because you knew it was real? The pain of truth is better than the numbness or temporary satisfaction we get from self-deception. It is true that we all have our own experiences, and these can be very powerful. We sometimes need to understand the reality of one another’s experiences. These experiences can include feelings and thoughts that are very real, but acknowledging the reality of our feelings and thoughts is not the same as saying that they are true, or that the messages they give us are true. Our feelings and thoughts do not always tell us the truth. And, while validating our feelings as real can give us a certain amount of freedom, believing all the messages that can come with those feelings only binds us again—that, is if the messages are not true. God tells us that truth sets us free. As painful as it seems, it always feels better. It’s the lies that bind us up. When we are in truth, we realize God is not trying to beat us up. He is trying to help us. Cinthia discussed her own experiences of this. There were things she believed about herself that seemed so real, but they were not true. She did not want to face the truth about some things in her life, and she even lied out of fear. Admitting what was true was painful, but, when God brought her face-to-face with the things she had not wanted to admit or acknowledge, she found it set her free. Many of these truths were about who she was and how He made her. She advises, “Do not be afraid and push back when God is telling you the truth.” God never lies. He is for His people, not against us. He is a good, gracious, patient, kind God Who never fails and is always available. When He brings us into contact with hard truth, it is because He loves us. He made us to live in the truth. When we walk in the truth, we are in clarity and reality—actual reality. We see more clearly. We make better decisions. Finding out who we each are and contending with all the proclivities we each have is important. The truth is always our best friend; it is not created by God to harm us. We think it will kill us, but it makes us free. Truth is not painless. God’s love for us does not mean life will be easy. Think of Jesus on the cross; He died naked, bloody, beaten, scorned. He did that so we would not have to face the judgment that was ours to face. God knows what it is like to feel afraid to the point of sweating blood, to be completely misunderstood and dismissed, to do the right thing and have nobody care. He is closer to us than a friend or family member. He goes with us as we face truth, and we have His strength on which to lean when truth is too big for us. Truth needs no other supports -- it can stand alone, does not have to be expressed or experienced to be real, and does not need help in any way -- but it is at its best and most powerful when infused with love. There is an old saying that “truth without love destroys, love without truth deceives, but truth with love develops.” Jesus showed us the truth, giving His life for us and demonstrating His love for us. Truth can be sharp, and it is not meant to be a weapon we use for our own aggrandizement or vengeance. Sometimes we need to ask ourselves why we are verbalizing particular truths at particular times. We are to speak the ...
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    43 min
  • CWC - 11/3/24 - Replay of Being in Charge of Your Own Brain (3-03-24)
    Nov 1 2024
    oday’s topic is the neuroplasticity of the brain and how we can use it to take charge of our own thought processes. Cinthia opened today with a quote usually attributed to Albert Einstein: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.” We see the problems that occur with repeating behaviors that are not working, but what about our thoughts? Our brains create what are called “neural nets,” or networks of brain cells that learn to fire in succession in response to outside stimuli; these are often compared to superhighways in the brain. This creates habits of thought that we often do not even notice because we are so used to them. For example, the phone rings, and you see a particular name on the screen. What thoughts go through your head automatically? The stimulus happens, the thoughts begin… and, before you know it, you are traveling down that old familiar superhighway with its familiar assumptions and other habits of thought. And every time you travel the highway, it gets reinforced, becoming more entrenched and powerful in your brain and your life. Thus, our brains create these “crazy-fast” reactions to stimuli, but we can take control of this process and retrain our brains to respond differently. Sarah Gibson has written about this concept with the old computer-inspired idea of GIGO: “Garbage in, garbage out.” We can, she emphasizes, decide what ideas to feed ourselves. We can decide which thoughts to dwell on. We can reroute the garbage truck, so to speak, and actively work to take the “trash” out of our brains. We can create bypasses to help us stop traveling the superhighways that are not helping us. God made our brains to work for us, not against us. Are you a lazy thinker? Challenge your own thoughts and feelings. Update and maintain your own roads. Take responsibility for the roads you travel. Clean up the negativities, the lies, the assumptions. Reroute the garbage truck. All of this is easier to say than to do, but it is well worth the work. First, start to notice the neural nets that exist for you. In what areas do you quickly find yourself starting down a familiar thought/feeling/reaction path? Cinthia discussed her own struggle with mental “superhighways” related to an eating disorder that began early in her life; for her, there are still triggers to follow a mental track related to fears of being fat, triggers she has to consciously and intentionally resist. We may have perceptions about why other people do what they do, and our thoughts on this reinforce our judgments and assumptions about others. Some people have superhighways related to fears of trusting anyone. Sometimes we think we know what will happen in a situation because we believe that is what “always” happens, but we may actually be overgeneralizing. What are your superhighways? What are your triggers to jump on those ramps, and what thoughts and feelings occur in response to those triggers? Once you identify some patterns, the first thing to do is learn to pause. To continue our superhighway analogy, pull your mental “car” over into a safe spot and take a minute to examine what just happened and where you are now headed. Question your immediate emotional response. Seek different information. Find out what else there is to know. Clarify with the person who made a comment; what did they mean by that? Remember, our brains create these “crazy-fast” reactions based on emotional response. Remember, feelings are very real, but they are not always true. Don’t believe everything you think! We can retrain our reactions, but it is also important to recognize that some superhighways in our minds are so entrenched that we may struggle with them for a very long time, just as Cinthia described still having to resist eating-disordered thoughts decades after she has stopped living as an eating-disordered person. Especially when we are dealing with roads that were formed when we were young or roads that were formed through trauma or deep wounding, roads we have traveled for years or as a way to avoid other painful roads, there may always be a first reaction, an impulse to get on the “ramp” toward the series of thoughts and behaviors the brain has learned to enact in response to parts of life. The brain may still go to the old road automatically, but, remember, you can teach your brain to hit the brakes before heading down the superhighway. Work on construction of the new bypass system. Every time you travel the old roads, you make them stronger, but every time you take yourself down a new path, you help to construct and strengthen that new route. We have more control over our own thoughts than we give ourselves credit for. One thing that can help us as we try to build new roads is a back-to-basics approach toward what is important. This approach stresses simplicity, focuses on ...
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    43 min

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