English for Global Citizens

Auteur(s): Building bridges across borders through the power of English.
  • Résumé

  • This podcast is for global citizens who want to improve their intermediate to advanced English skills. Every week, we explore cultural psychology, travel, health, sociopolitical issues, and the occasional existential crisis. You can follow along by reading the articles on bornwithoutborders.substack.com Do you to book a private class or a group class? Head to englishforglobalcitizens.com 📝 Cambridge exam prep ✍️ Essay writing & storytelling 🗣️ Public speaking & presentations 🌍️ Cultural competence & business English 🧠 Evidence-based study techniques & psychology 💪 Fitness & health coaching (learn a language in a flow state)

    bornwithoutborders.substack.com
    Nolan Yuma
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Épisodes
  • Can We Agree on How to Be a Good Person?
    Dec 31 2024
    Before we get into the article, here's a quick note: I’m starting classes and courses where I mediate discussions with people across the ideological spectrum. We find common interests and goals to build bridges across divides. Send me a DM or email if this interests you.Immanuel Kant was a productivity hacker's dream. He was the 18th-century Andrew Huberman, but instead of talking about testosterone and ice baths, he spoke about the transcendental dialectic of the soul. For over 40 years, he woke up at 5:00 a.m., wrote for three hours, lectured for four, took the same walk on the same route daily, and had dinner with the same friend before retiring precisely at 10:00 p.m. His routine was so precise that neighbours joked they could set their clocks by him.But beneath this clockwork life, Kant was a revolutionary thinker whose ideas shaped our understanding of morality, ethics, and even human rights. Yet, when Kant proclaimed his ethical rule—act that you use humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, always at the same time as an end, never merely as a means (which pretty much comes down to ‘don’t use people’)—he wasn’t just setting up shop in the ivory tower. He was laying out a universal standard for morality.But here’s the rub: can something as complex and culturally embedded as “being a good person” be reduced to a single rule? Kant thought so. Then again, who can say for sure? I didn’t know the guy, and people still debate his meaning. Anyway, cultural psychology gives us a far more nuanced picture.Universal Ethics or Cultural Relativism?Kant's categorical imperative demands universality. Lying isn’t just wrong because it’s inconvenient; it undermines the rational agency of others, a principle Kant believed should hold across all contexts.But cultural psychology tells us that morality isn’t always so clear-cut. Research by Richard Shweder and colleagues on cultural variability in moral systems suggests that what counts as “good” behaviour often depends on the society in question. Shweder identified three primary moral ethics:* The Ethics of Autonomy: Common in individualistic cultures like the U.S., where morality is tied to individual rights and harm prevention.* The Ethics of Community: Found in collectivist cultures like India, emphasizing loyalty, duty, and hierarchy.* The Ethics of Divinity: Prominent in many religious societies, where morality centres on purity and sanctity.Take lying, for example. In Kant’s view, it’s always wrong. However, studies in collectivist cultures show that lying to protect family harmony might be seen as not only acceptable but morally necessary. Also, if you’re interested in learning about how my IBS resulted in a situation which would be frowned upon in all three ethical constructs, check out Shared Washrooms.What Goodness Looks Like Around the WorldThe idea of what it means to "be good" shifts dramatically across cultures.* Japan: The concept of amae, or the dependency and acceptance of another’s benevolence, guides social behaviour. A "good" person harmonizes their desires with the group’s needs.* Greece: The ancient concept of areté (virtue) focuses on excellence and fulfilling one's potential, tying goodness to individual achievement and societal contributions.* Indigenous Cultures: Among the Lakota Sioux, being good centers around woohitika (courage) and wacantognaka (generosity), reflecting a deep interdependence with community and nature.Kant’s emphasis on universal rationality might resonate in some cultures, like those shaped by Enlightenment ideals, but it can clash in contexts where morality is relational and contingent.Rationality as Sacred, But Whose Rationality?Kant argued that the defining feature of humanity is our capacity for rationality—the ability to weigh options, make decisions, and act consciously. Without it, he claimed, the universe would be “a waste in vain and without purpose.”Yet modern thinkers like Jonathan Haidt argue that our moral decisions are driven less by cold rationality and more by emotional intuition. His Social Intuitionist Model suggests that we justify our moral choices post hoc, meaning that what feels good to us culturally and emotionally often precedes rational explanations.For example, in Western societies, prioritizing individual rights over communal obligations feels “rational” because it aligns with cultural norms. But in East Asian cultures, where harmony often trumps individual expression, rationality might favour decisions that preserve group cohesion.However, our emotions cloud how we perceive what is rational. Some people think Jordon Peterson is a rational thinker, whereas he’s also playing on the emotions of disenfranchised f**k boys (I’ve got sucked in from time to time). Some people think Astrology is rational because Astronomy wasn’t their forte, and they need a sense of control in a chaotic world. I thought asking a ...
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    12 min
  • Letting Go of a Toxic Relationship Across Cultures
    Dec 26 2024
    People who have already subscribed to Born Without Borders received the written and podcast versions on Tuesday. I’m releasing this video version to play around with Substack’s new tools and see if the algorithm favours video uploads.Also, for those of you who didn’t know, Substack automatically creates captions clips, and you can sync the videos directly to your Youtube channel. Letting go of a toxic relationship and the trauma bond it created isn’t just about “fixing” yourself—it’s about untangling the web of manipulation, unmet needs, and misplaced self-worth. Let’s explore this journey that left me heart feening and pecker retreating.Recognizing the CycleTrauma bonding thrives universally on a loop of kindness and hurt—a toxic rollercoaster of validation and betrayal. In every culture, this cycle creates confusion and reinforces emotional dependency. However, how people recognize and address this cycle often reflects cultural attitudes toward relationships and conflict.* Individualistic Cultures (cultures prioritizing the individual over the collective group—common in the West): The recognition process often begins with open dialogue and self-reflection, facilitated by therapy or personal writing. Survivors are encouraged to dissect patterns objectively, often finding clarity through cognitive-behavioural approaches that separate emotional reactions from facts.* Collectivist Cultures (cultures that emphasize harmony, duty, and interdependence—common in the East): The cycle might be less openly discussed due to societal pressures to maintain harmony or protect the family’s reputation. Reflecting on this dynamic often involves seeking wisdom from elders or trusted confidants, emphasizing relational wisdom over individual analysis.Regardless of culture, writing about the moments of love and betrayal—whether privately or as part of a shared healing practice—remains a transformative tool. Psychologists also note that articulating the narrative helps survivors reframe their experiences, creating distance from the abuser's control.However, I’m not sure “abuser” is the right word. For one, I’m not into the whole victimhood narrative. Two, viewing the insults, cheating, and betrayals as products of someone’s past, not their true character, made it easier to forgive. Three, the happy memories: all the laughter, travel, intimacy, the effort they put into gifts, the way they reflected my soul, shared past-life dreams—Sometimes, the “survivor” can’t let go and becomes their own abuser.Setting Boundaries That StickCutting ties is easier said than done. Trauma bonds often create an illusion of “unfinished business,” making survivors feel guilty for trying to leave and absolutely worthless if they get left.* Western Perspectives: Boundaries are viewed as empowering acts of self-care. Tools like blocking on social media or ceasing all communication are common, reflecting a belief in the individual’s right to peace.* Non-Western Perspectives: Setting boundaries may involve more subtle or indirect strategies to avoid open conflict. Survivors might limit interactions while maintaining formal politeness, especially in cultures where direct confrontation is discouraged.For both, the challenge lies in consistency. Research suggests that having an accountability partner—someone who supports you in maintaining these boundaries (in my case, my bro telling me I sound like a heroin addict)—can significantly reduce the likelihood of relapse into unhealthy dynamics.Replacing the AddictionTrauma bonds mimic addiction. Breaking the cycle requires finding healthier, more fulfilling replacements.* Western Approaches: Activities like therapy, exercise, and journaling are emphasized as steady sources of joy.* Non-Western Approaches: Spiritual practices, community service, and traditional healing methods often take precedence.Research shows that consistent engagement in nourishing activities rewires the brain, reducing the emotional dependency created by trauma bonds. However, for those of us who exercised and ate healthy long before the trauma bond, it’s not much of a replacement, unfortunately.Reclaiming Your IdentityRebuilding your sense of self after leaving a toxic relationship is central to recovery. This process often intersects with cultural narratives about identity and purpose.* In Individualistic Cultures, identity is often framed in terms of personal achievements and preferences. Survivors might be encouraged to rediscover hobbies, career goals, or creative outlets. For instance, journaling and art therapy are popular tools for expressing and reclaiming identity in Western contexts.Unfortunately, writing as a career requires recognition to succeed, and when you have an unhealthy need for recognition, it can turn toxic, too. So, if you’re anything like me, I recommend the collectivistic culture approach.* In Collectivist Cultures, identity is closely tied to ...
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    12 min
  • Letting Go of a Toxic Relationship Across Cultures
    Dec 24 2024
    Letting go of a toxic relationship and the trauma bond it created isn’t just about “fixing” yourself—it’s about untangling the web of manipulation, unmet needs, and misplaced self-worth. Let’s explore this journey that left me heart feening and pecker retreating. Recognizing the CycleTrauma bonding thrives universally on a loop of kindness and hurt—a toxic rollercoaster of validation and betrayal. In every culture, this cycle creates confusion and reinforces emotional dependency. However, how people recognize and address this cycle often reflects cultural attitudes toward relationships and conflict.* Individualistic Cultures (cultures prioritizing the individual over the collective group—common in the West): The recognition process often begins with open dialogue and self-reflection, facilitated by therapy or personal writing. Survivors are encouraged to dissect patterns objectively, often finding clarity through cognitive-behavioural approaches that separate emotional reactions from facts.* Collectivist Cultures (cultures that emphasize harmony, duty, and interdependence—common in the East): The cycle might be less openly discussed due to societal pressures to maintain harmony or protect the family’s reputation. Reflecting on this dynamic often involves seeking wisdom from elders or trusted confidants, emphasizing relational wisdom over individual analysis.Regardless of culture, writing about the moments of love and betrayal—whether privately or as part of a shared healing practice—remains a transformative tool. Psychologists also note that articulating the narrative helps survivors reframe their experiences, creating distance from the abuser's control. However, I’m not sure “abuser” is the right word. For one, I’m not into the whole victimhood narrative. Two, viewing the insults, cheating, and betrayals as products of someone’s past, not their true character, made it easier to forgive. Three, the happy memories: all the laughter, travel, intimacy, the effort they put into gifts, the way they reflected my soul, shared past-life dreams—Sometimes, the “survivor” can’t let go and becomes their own abuser. Setting Boundaries That StickCutting ties is easier said than done. Trauma bonds often create an illusion of “unfinished business,” making survivors feel guilty for trying to leave and absolutely worthless if they get left. * Western Perspectives: Boundaries are viewed as empowering acts of self-care. Tools like blocking on social media or ceasing all communication are common, reflecting a belief in the individual’s right to peace.* Non-Western Perspectives: Setting boundaries may involve more subtle or indirect strategies to avoid open conflict. Survivors might limit interactions while maintaining formal politeness, especially in cultures where direct confrontation is discouraged.For both, the challenge lies in consistency. Research suggests that having an accountability partner—someone who supports you in maintaining these boundaries (in my case, my bro telling me I sound like a heroin addict)—can significantly reduce the likelihood of relapse into unhealthy dynamics. Replacing the AddictionTrauma bonds mimic addiction. Breaking the cycle requires finding healthier, more fulfilling replacements.* Western Approaches: Activities like therapy, exercise, and journaling are emphasized as steady sources of joy.* Non-Western Approaches: Spiritual practices, community service, and traditional healing methods often take precedence.Research shows that consistent engagement in nourishing activities rewires the brain, reducing the emotional dependency created by trauma bonds. However, for those of us who exercised and ate healthy long before the trauma bond, it’s not much of a replacement, unfortunately. Reclaiming Your IdentityRebuilding your sense of self after leaving a toxic relationship is central to recovery. This process often intersects with cultural narratives about identity and purpose.* In Individualistic Cultures, identity is often framed in terms of personal achievements and preferences. Survivors might be encouraged to rediscover hobbies, career goals, or creative outlets. For instance, journaling and art therapy are popular tools for expressing and reclaiming identity in Western contexts.Unfortunately, writing as a career requires recognition to succeed, and when you have an unhealthy need for recognition, it can turn toxic, too. So, if you’re anything like me, I recommend the collectivistic culture approach.* In Collectivist Cultures, identity is closely tied to family, community, and traditions. Rediscovery may involve reconnecting with cultural roots or communal activities that reinforce a sense of belonging. Practices like traditional dance, music, or storytelling can serve as personal and communal healing forms.In summary, months of therapeutic advice have come down to the following: dance, sing, show kindness to everyone, connect with ...
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    12 min

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