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  • Can We Agree on How to Be a Good Person?

    Can We Agree on How to Be a Good Person?
    Dec 31 2024
    Before we get into the article, here's a quick note: I’m starting classes and courses where I mediate discussions with people across the ideological spectrum. We find common interests and goals to build bridges across divides. Send me a DM or email if this interests you.Immanuel Kant was a productivity hacker's dream. He was the 18th-century Andrew Huberman, but instead of talking about testosterone and ice baths, he spoke about the transcendental dialectic of the soul. For over 40 years, he woke up at 5:00 a.m., wrote for three hours, lectured for four, took the same walk on the same route daily, and had dinner with the same friend before retiring precisely at 10:00 p.m. His routine was so precise that neighbours joked they could set their clocks by him.But beneath this clockwork life, Kant was a revolutionary thinker whose ideas shaped our understanding of morality, ethics, and even human rights. Yet, when Kant proclaimed his ethical rule—act that you use humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, always at the same time as an end, never merely as a means (which pretty much comes down to ‘don’t use people’)—he wasn’t just setting up shop in the ivory tower. He was laying out a universal standard for morality.But here’s the rub: can something as complex and culturally embedded as “being a good person” be reduced to a single rule? Kant thought so. Then again, who can say for sure? I didn’t know the guy, and people still debate his meaning. Anyway, cultural psychology gives us a far more nuanced picture.Universal Ethics or Cultural Relativism?Kant's categorical imperative demands universality. Lying isn’t just wrong because it’s inconvenient; it undermines the rational agency of others, a principle Kant believed should hold across all contexts.But cultural psychology tells us that morality isn’t always so clear-cut. Research by Richard Shweder and colleagues on cultural variability in moral systems suggests that what counts as “good” behaviour often depends on the society in question. Shweder identified three primary moral ethics:* The Ethics of Autonomy: Common in individualistic cultures like the U.S., where morality is tied to individual rights and harm prevention.* The Ethics of Community: Found in collectivist cultures like India, emphasizing loyalty, duty, and hierarchy.* The Ethics of Divinity: Prominent in many religious societies, where morality centres on purity and sanctity.Take lying, for example. In Kant’s view, it’s always wrong. However, studies in collectivist cultures show that lying to protect family harmony might be seen as not only acceptable but morally necessary. Also, if you’re interested in learning about how my IBS resulted in a situation which would be frowned upon in all three ethical constructs, check out Shared Washrooms.What Goodness Looks Like Around the WorldThe idea of what it means to "be good" shifts dramatically across cultures.* Japan: The concept of amae, or the dependency and acceptance of another’s benevolence, guides social behaviour. A "good" person harmonizes their desires with the group’s needs.* Greece: The ancient concept of areté (virtue) focuses on excellence and fulfilling one's potential, tying goodness to individual achievement and societal contributions.* Indigenous Cultures: Among the Lakota Sioux, being good centers around woohitika (courage) and wacantognaka (generosity), reflecting a deep interdependence with community and nature.Kant’s emphasis on universal rationality might resonate in some cultures, like those shaped by Enlightenment ideals, but it can clash in contexts where morality is relational and contingent.Rationality as Sacred, But Whose Rationality?Kant argued that the defining feature of humanity is our capacity for rationality—the ability to weigh options, make decisions, and act consciously. Without it, he claimed, the universe would be “a waste in vain and without purpose.”Yet modern thinkers like Jonathan Haidt argue that our moral decisions are driven less by cold rationality and more by emotional intuition. His Social Intuitionist Model suggests that we justify our moral choices post hoc, meaning that what feels good to us culturally and emotionally often precedes rational explanations.For example, in Western societies, prioritizing individual rights over communal obligations feels “rational” because it aligns with cultural norms. But in East Asian cultures, where harmony often trumps individual expression, rationality might favour decisions that preserve group cohesion.However, our emotions cloud how we perceive what is rational. Some people think Jordon Peterson is a rational thinker, whereas he’s also playing on the emotions of disenfranchised f**k boys (I’ve got sucked in from time to time). Some people think Astrology is rational because Astronomy wasn’t their forte, and they need a sense of control in a chaotic world. I thought asking a ...
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    12 min
  • Letting Go of a Toxic Relationship Across Cultures

    Letting Go of a Toxic Relationship Across Cultures
    Dec 26 2024
    People who have already subscribed to Born Without Borders received the written and podcast versions on Tuesday. I’m releasing this video version to play around with Substack’s new tools and see if the algorithm favours video uploads.Also, for those of you who didn’t know, Substack automatically creates captions clips, and you can sync the videos directly to your Youtube channel. Letting go of a toxic relationship and the trauma bond it created isn’t just about “fixing” yourself—it’s about untangling the web of manipulation, unmet needs, and misplaced self-worth. Let’s explore this journey that left me heart feening and pecker retreating.Recognizing the CycleTrauma bonding thrives universally on a loop of kindness and hurt—a toxic rollercoaster of validation and betrayal. In every culture, this cycle creates confusion and reinforces emotional dependency. However, how people recognize and address this cycle often reflects cultural attitudes toward relationships and conflict.* Individualistic Cultures (cultures prioritizing the individual over the collective group—common in the West): The recognition process often begins with open dialogue and self-reflection, facilitated by therapy or personal writing. Survivors are encouraged to dissect patterns objectively, often finding clarity through cognitive-behavioural approaches that separate emotional reactions from facts.* Collectivist Cultures (cultures that emphasize harmony, duty, and interdependence—common in the East): The cycle might be less openly discussed due to societal pressures to maintain harmony or protect the family’s reputation. Reflecting on this dynamic often involves seeking wisdom from elders or trusted confidants, emphasizing relational wisdom over individual analysis.Regardless of culture, writing about the moments of love and betrayal—whether privately or as part of a shared healing practice—remains a transformative tool. Psychologists also note that articulating the narrative helps survivors reframe their experiences, creating distance from the abuser's control.However, I’m not sure “abuser” is the right word. For one, I’m not into the whole victimhood narrative. Two, viewing the insults, cheating, and betrayals as products of someone’s past, not their true character, made it easier to forgive. Three, the happy memories: all the laughter, travel, intimacy, the effort they put into gifts, the way they reflected my soul, shared past-life dreams—Sometimes, the “survivor” can’t let go and becomes their own abuser.Setting Boundaries That StickCutting ties is easier said than done. Trauma bonds often create an illusion of “unfinished business,” making survivors feel guilty for trying to leave and absolutely worthless if they get left.* Western Perspectives: Boundaries are viewed as empowering acts of self-care. Tools like blocking on social media or ceasing all communication are common, reflecting a belief in the individual’s right to peace.* Non-Western Perspectives: Setting boundaries may involve more subtle or indirect strategies to avoid open conflict. Survivors might limit interactions while maintaining formal politeness, especially in cultures where direct confrontation is discouraged.For both, the challenge lies in consistency. Research suggests that having an accountability partner—someone who supports you in maintaining these boundaries (in my case, my bro telling me I sound like a heroin addict)—can significantly reduce the likelihood of relapse into unhealthy dynamics.Replacing the AddictionTrauma bonds mimic addiction. Breaking the cycle requires finding healthier, more fulfilling replacements.* Western Approaches: Activities like therapy, exercise, and journaling are emphasized as steady sources of joy.* Non-Western Approaches: Spiritual practices, community service, and traditional healing methods often take precedence.Research shows that consistent engagement in nourishing activities rewires the brain, reducing the emotional dependency created by trauma bonds. However, for those of us who exercised and ate healthy long before the trauma bond, it’s not much of a replacement, unfortunately.Reclaiming Your IdentityRebuilding your sense of self after leaving a toxic relationship is central to recovery. This process often intersects with cultural narratives about identity and purpose.* In Individualistic Cultures, identity is often framed in terms of personal achievements and preferences. Survivors might be encouraged to rediscover hobbies, career goals, or creative outlets. For instance, journaling and art therapy are popular tools for expressing and reclaiming identity in Western contexts.Unfortunately, writing as a career requires recognition to succeed, and when you have an unhealthy need for recognition, it can turn toxic, too. So, if you’re anything like me, I recommend the collectivistic culture approach.* In Collectivist Cultures, identity is closely tied to ...
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    12 min
  • Letting Go of a Toxic Relationship Across Cultures

    Letting Go of a Toxic Relationship Across Cultures
    Dec 24 2024
    Letting go of a toxic relationship and the trauma bond it created isn’t just about “fixing” yourself—it’s about untangling the web of manipulation, unmet needs, and misplaced self-worth. Let’s explore this journey that left me heart feening and pecker retreating. Recognizing the CycleTrauma bonding thrives universally on a loop of kindness and hurt—a toxic rollercoaster of validation and betrayal. In every culture, this cycle creates confusion and reinforces emotional dependency. However, how people recognize and address this cycle often reflects cultural attitudes toward relationships and conflict.* Individualistic Cultures (cultures prioritizing the individual over the collective group—common in the West): The recognition process often begins with open dialogue and self-reflection, facilitated by therapy or personal writing. Survivors are encouraged to dissect patterns objectively, often finding clarity through cognitive-behavioural approaches that separate emotional reactions from facts.* Collectivist Cultures (cultures that emphasize harmony, duty, and interdependence—common in the East): The cycle might be less openly discussed due to societal pressures to maintain harmony or protect the family’s reputation. Reflecting on this dynamic often involves seeking wisdom from elders or trusted confidants, emphasizing relational wisdom over individual analysis.Regardless of culture, writing about the moments of love and betrayal—whether privately or as part of a shared healing practice—remains a transformative tool. Psychologists also note that articulating the narrative helps survivors reframe their experiences, creating distance from the abuser's control. However, I’m not sure “abuser” is the right word. For one, I’m not into the whole victimhood narrative. Two, viewing the insults, cheating, and betrayals as products of someone’s past, not their true character, made it easier to forgive. Three, the happy memories: all the laughter, travel, intimacy, the effort they put into gifts, the way they reflected my soul, shared past-life dreams—Sometimes, the “survivor” can’t let go and becomes their own abuser. Setting Boundaries That StickCutting ties is easier said than done. Trauma bonds often create an illusion of “unfinished business,” making survivors feel guilty for trying to leave and absolutely worthless if they get left. * Western Perspectives: Boundaries are viewed as empowering acts of self-care. Tools like blocking on social media or ceasing all communication are common, reflecting a belief in the individual’s right to peace.* Non-Western Perspectives: Setting boundaries may involve more subtle or indirect strategies to avoid open conflict. Survivors might limit interactions while maintaining formal politeness, especially in cultures where direct confrontation is discouraged.For both, the challenge lies in consistency. Research suggests that having an accountability partner—someone who supports you in maintaining these boundaries (in my case, my bro telling me I sound like a heroin addict)—can significantly reduce the likelihood of relapse into unhealthy dynamics. Replacing the AddictionTrauma bonds mimic addiction. Breaking the cycle requires finding healthier, more fulfilling replacements.* Western Approaches: Activities like therapy, exercise, and journaling are emphasized as steady sources of joy.* Non-Western Approaches: Spiritual practices, community service, and traditional healing methods often take precedence.Research shows that consistent engagement in nourishing activities rewires the brain, reducing the emotional dependency created by trauma bonds. However, for those of us who exercised and ate healthy long before the trauma bond, it’s not much of a replacement, unfortunately. Reclaiming Your IdentityRebuilding your sense of self after leaving a toxic relationship is central to recovery. This process often intersects with cultural narratives about identity and purpose.* In Individualistic Cultures, identity is often framed in terms of personal achievements and preferences. Survivors might be encouraged to rediscover hobbies, career goals, or creative outlets. For instance, journaling and art therapy are popular tools for expressing and reclaiming identity in Western contexts.Unfortunately, writing as a career requires recognition to succeed, and when you have an unhealthy need for recognition, it can turn toxic, too. So, if you’re anything like me, I recommend the collectivistic culture approach.* In Collectivist Cultures, identity is closely tied to family, community, and traditions. Rediscovery may involve reconnecting with cultural roots or communal activities that reinforce a sense of belonging. Practices like traditional dance, music, or storytelling can serve as personal and communal healing forms.In summary, months of therapeutic advice have come down to the following: dance, sing, show kindness to everyone, connect with ...
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    12 min
  • Is Culture Really Just for Humans?

    Is Culture Really Just for Humans?
    Dec 17 2024
    Then God said, ‘Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth."— Genesis 1:26F**k that s**t. We see ourselves as complex, symbolic beings, while animals, we assume, are just instinct-driven beasts over which we have dominion. And by “we,” I mean those influenced by Judeo-Christian rhetoric, not those from the wisdom societies who understood everything is connected before scientists had to prove it. Luckily, the more we learn (or rather unlearn), the more it seems other species also have their own “cultural” quirks. So, are we actually that special, or are we just the only ones pretentious enough to debate it? What Even Is Culture?First off, what qualifies as culture? If we define culture as using symbols to create shared meaning—a sort of private language club for each species—then yes, humans have it in the bag. No other animals seem to use abstract symbols or grammar. But this definition is a bit like setting the rules of a game so only humans can win.A broader definition could just mean “learning behaviours from others in your group.” And if that’s the bar, then humans are not alone in the cultural game. Many animals show cultural learning—just maybe without the existential monologues.Meet Some Animal Culture Stars* Chimpanzees: Our close cousins use sticks to fish for termites and stones to crack nuts, with different communities showing distinct tool-use habits. It’s like local cuisine for chimps—some are into the bark-peeling technique, and others are more of the twig-fishing variety. They’re even known to learn from each other, which sounds suspiciously like cultural transmission—the way a “person” learns about a new culture by engaging and immersing themselves in culture.)* Dolphins and Orcas: Dolphins are another species that seems to enjoy DIY culture. In certain areas, dolphins use marine sponges as “gloves” while hunting to avoid scratches. Orcas, on the other hand, develop unique vocal “dialects” and specialized hunting strategies that are passed down through generations. They don’t just live in the deep—they live in pods with distinct traditions.* Macaques: In one famous case, a young macaque named Imo figured out that washing sand off sweet potatoes in the water made them taste better. Soon, her friends and family were imitating her—and just like that, sweet-potato-washing became the hottest cultural trend on the island. This didn’t happen overnight, but hey, they didn’t have the marketing budgets human trend-pushers have. * Birds and Fish: Some songbirds learn regional tunes, while certain fish follow food-finding strategies from others. It’s not jazz night at the village bar, but it does show that animals are doing a little social learning and passing it down.Don’t worry. I still think you’re special. Animals have learned behaviours passed down socially. But here’s where humans shine: we do it faster, more widely, and with a unique twist called cumulative culture. In human societies, it’s not just about copying someone else; it’s about building on each new idea to reach a new level—essentially making us the kings and queens of the "cultural snowball effect."Take language, for instance. Vervet monkeys have a few calls to warn each other about predators, but there’s no “syntax” in their system. Meanwhile, humans have languages with rich vocabularies, grammar, and syntax—all evolving and expanding over generations. Sure, animals have their dialects, but so far, nothing comes close to the complexity of human language. Why Are Humans Obsessed with Imitating the “Cool Kids”?Another human specialty is our “prestige bias.” We’re constantly on the lookout and, thanks to advertising and Hollywood, bombarded with people who have what we want—status, money, and sex. We tend to copy those who have these things more than the 40-year-old virgin living in their mom’s basement. This strategy is super efficient: rather than reinventing the wheel, we watch the “best” people do it and borrow their methods. Case in point: a study found that kids are more likely to imitate a “prestigious” adult model than a random one. Unfortunately, many of these “best” people—the billionaire celebrities—are self-interested psychopaths. However, in the animal kingdom, it’s mostly an “anyone will do” approach. Macaques, for example, don’t seem to care if the potato-washer they’re copying is a star in their community or just the neighbour.So, What’s the Verdict? Are We Just Fancier, Wordy Chimps?It’s clear that many animals have behaviours that spread through social learning, which is essentially culture in a broad sense. But humans crank this up a notch with complex language, fast and ...
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    8 min
  • Why Are We So Obsessed with War?

    Why Are We So Obsessed with War?
    Nov 26 2024
    Video VersionThink back to history class. Or don’t—you probably remember enough about humans constantly clobbering each other since the dawn of civilization. Fast-forward to today, and you’d think we’d have figured out that tribalistic (which, in many ways, is synonymous with populistic) thinking leads to war. Instead, we’re still witnessing power plays and territorial disputes, only now with nukes and a couple of social media battles thrown in.This raises a reasonable question: why are we so obsessed with war? What’s the deal? Let’s unpack some of the theories and sprinkle in a little skepticism.Evolutionary Theory: Blame It on the GenesEvolutionary psychologists tell us that our DNA might just be the bad influence egging us on. The story goes like this: our “selfish genes” want us to stick around as long as possible to replicate, and one way to ensure this is to grab resources and defend them from others. So, if some other group wants our food, water, women, or land, guess what? They’re a threat to our genes, and we need to smash them before they smash us.But then why do we still fight when we’ve got plenty of food and resources? When it’s not about survival, what’s the excuse? Also, if war is in our DNA, why do we see some groups that live in harmony?Testosterone & Serotonin: Blame It on the BiochemistryMost men have a higher dose of testosterone, which might turn them into the caveman archetypes we see on the Joe Rogan podcast, the Trump administration, and me during my workouts. Testosterone has been linked to aggression, so naturally, war becomes an extension of manly urges gone wild, right? And when serotonin (the “chill out” chemical) runs low, the aggression spikes even more.But let’s give testosterone a break—it might make me hairy, horny, and hunky, but it’s not the magic key to why we wage organized, tactical war. Besides, the historical evidence doesn’t show ancient men throwing stones at each other all the time. In fact, for thousands of years, societies lived quite peacefully.The Myth of Ancient WarfareDespite what some textbooks suggest, not all early human societies were obsessed with violence. Anthropologists like Douglas Fry and Patrik Soderberg studied 21 modern hunter-gatherer groups and found very few deaths by group violence. Most conflicts were small-scale disputes, not full-blown tribal wars. The archaeologist R. Brian Ferguson also showed that warfare, as we know it, is barely 10,000 years old—a flash in human history.The point? Big, organized wars aren’t exactly coded into us. They’re more like an acquired taste, like oysters, scotch, and the other luxuries politicians enjoy while they send young men to bomb innocent women and children. Psychological Perks of War: Because Life’s Just Too BoringHere’s a curveball: what if we go to war because it makes us feel good? The great psychologist William James explored this idea, suggesting that war has some addictive qualities. War shakes things up like group sex. It makes people feel alive and united, bringing them together against a common enemy. James wrote that war helps people transcend the humdrum of everyday life—like a high-stakes game where the whole community gets a rush of purpose, honour, and courage. And as bizarre as it sounds, it offers individuals something to fight for, filling life with meaning (and probably a lot of adrenaline).Historically, wars also fuel what James called “discipline.” In other words, everyone’s suddenly on their best behaviour, all chipping in to support the cause. The “war effort” unites everyone—from soldiers on the front lines to civilians rationing food. However, I experienced all this while volunteering in the devastating aftermath of DANA in Comunidad Valencia. Here, no matter one’s political or religious beliefs, people came to help. Well, aside from the politicians, of course. They’re too busy stirring up division. Which brings me to…Nationalism, Group Identity, and the “Us vs. Them” SyndromeLet’s not forget how much we love a good “us vs. them” narrative. SPORTS! Humans have a deep-seated need to belong to a group—it’s practically a survival mechanism. Unfortunately, this sense of belonging often mutates into nationalism, religious fervour, or plain old ethnic rivalry. When people latch onto a group identity, they often fall into a “we’re better than them” mindset. Think about it: Crusaders vs. Muslims, Catholics vs. Protestants, East vs. West, Drake vs. Kendrick, take your pick. Once that switch flips, people feel justified in treating “them” as enemies, stripping them of empathy and respect.This is what psychologists call “moral exclusion.” Basically, we see the “other” as less human, making it easier to exploit or even annihilate them without a second thought. We draw the line around who’s “worthy” of rights, respect, and life itself, creating a moral free-for-all outside our ...
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    10 min
  • Why are People in the North of Spain Happier?

    Why are People in the North of Spain Happier?
    Sep 24 2024
    In lands where sunny breaks are at the whim of Celtic and Animistic deities, you’ll find the happiest people in Spain. Modern meteorologists might prove useless, but feeling spirits in the rivers and mountains doesn’t. I’m talking, of course, about the North of Spain. Isolated from the sun, frequent transport networks, and major cities, these people are happier than those living the Mediterranean life, according to the Happy City Index. The index focuses on quantitative research in 24 different areas of activity, divided into five key categories: Citizens, Governance, Environment, Economy, and Mobility. Of course, happiness is subjective, and the somewhat arbitrary selection always causes Europe's cold, rainy, and expensive cities to come out on top. Yet, unlike the Northern Europeans who flock to the South when SAD (Seasonal affective disorder) kicks in, many of us who live in sunny Spain escape to the Northern regions when the sun’s summer rays strip us naked and triple our energy bills. That’s one reason I wasn’t shocked when Pais Vasco’s capital, Bilbao, came up on top in 2023. However, Galicia’s most industrial and blue-collar city, Vigo, taking the lead in 2024 was more surprising, yet equally useless for those not using the happiness index for their real estate and tourism sales.Although most towns and small cities don’t make it into the Happy City Index, other methodologically problematic but nonetheless entertaining happiness studies confirm that Spaniards living in northern autonomous communities are happier than those in the south. The study also highlights that urban areas remain the ideal place to live, with a higher degree of happiness in cities that aim to reduce pollution and improve mobility. However, despite the appeal of urban areas, rural areas with resources, adapted to technological innovation, and offering nature and proximity have a higher happiness index than cities.Other studies point to Andalusia (the southern region that’s hot as balls) having the happiest towns. So, before we get to the academic argument where we hurdle papers and studies at each other, let’s turn to what humans base their decisions and opinions on—an emotional experience told with passion, charisma, and unearned conviction. The trip started in Andorra, a little tax haven with cheap alcohol, cigarettes, and accessible mountain lakes you’re not supposed to swim in—legally, that is. Aside from the capitalistic hell where brand logos further destroy the graffiti-free and soulless capital, the building-code regulations make for beautifully quaint towns tucked into the majestic yet suffocating mountains. Three days was more than enough for me since I’m not an influencer or YouTuber cheating Spain’s oppressive tax system.Even if I were, I’d gladly keep flushing half my salary into the s**t-talking mouths of corrupt Spanish politicians if it meant being on the Spanish side of the Pyrenees. Here, where the rich must scheme to avoid taxes and the poor must pay extra to truncate their lives with tobacco and booze, the world feels real. The mountains are equally high but less closed in, giving you room to breathe. The towns not only accommodate tourists looking for an escape but raise people who have called the mountains and rivers home since birth. There’s a sense of community where people share their struggles and pleasures in a way a tax haven can never replicate. Yet, even here, where my fellow white-water kayakers and adventure lovers could start their days with traditional bakeries and end their nights sharing world-class tapas, I knew it wasn’t a place I would live. I craved staring out at the horizon where the bleeding sun drips behind the ocean.That’s where the party was.With a ‘camperized’ van, my partner and I unwittingly drove into San Sebastian’s Semana Grande (Aste Nagusia in Basque)—a festival held annually in San Sebastián, Spain, during the week of August 15th. The tradition dates back to the 19th century and celebrates the city's patron saint, the Virgin of the Assumption.Highlights include nightly fireworks competitions, concerts, traditional Basque sports like stone lifting and wood chopping, parades, and street performances. The most difficult street performance of all was finding parking. Every parking lot was full, and after an hour, we joined a lineup of cars entering an underground lot that said “full.” Somehow, we found a spot that allowed us to sleep for a few hours under the concrete slab and eerie video game music the security guard refused to turn off.So, at six in the morning, we headed towards Bilbao.To be honest, I didn’t realize we experienced Semana Grande (Aste Nagusia) until writing this article. That also explains why I had no idea the laid-back atmosphere we were hoping for was nothing other than naivety. It turns out that Semana Grande is also celebrated in Bilbao, and at a much larger scale, with marine-inspired parades, ...
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    13 min
  • Self-Help Writers are Cult Leaders

    Self-Help Writers are Cult Leaders
    Sep 10 2024
    Self-help writers are the socially acceptable cousins of cult leaders, religious gurus, and influencers. They (We?) sell the idea of personal transformation, peddling hacks to success or eternal happiness. Like cult leaders, they thrive on charisma and a knack for creating a devoted following, except their rituals involve buying books and attending workshops instead of spiritual ceremonies, drugs, and group sex. They’ve perfected the art of crafting a sense of community around their transformative wisdom, convincing followers that their unique insights are the path to a better life. The testimonials, success stories, and endorsements serve as the modern-day equivalent of divine miracles. In essence, self-help writers are merely the highbrow and less physically vain version of Instagram influencers.So, take all the advice I’m about to dispense with a grain of salt. Unlike those who have made a living writing, I can’t further capitalize on my success by writing about how to succeed. However, I can tell you why I keep writing for an audience while cheerfully hemorrhaging money.It’s therapeutic. Nobody knows for sure why writing is therapeutic. The underlying mechanism is likely to be complex and multifactorial. One theory is that the mere act of ‘getting it off your chest’ is a powerful therapeutic agent. Writing may facilitate the cognitive processing of traumatic memories, resulting in more adaptive, integrated representations about the writer themselves, their world, and others. It’d also be possible that the development of a coherent narrative over time will help find meaning in the traumatic experience.Now, this might be true when writing for yourself. But what about when you’re writing for an audience? Writing for an audience doesn’t always mean writing for an income. If you write for the market, you sell your freedom while turning your passion into a product. It turns the creative process into labour instead of play, which might be worth it when it results in a financial goal, but I’m unfamiliar with the particular outcome. I’m not yet privy to the lives of those who make a living by creating what their hearts desire. Nor have I experienced the thrill when thousands of people like your work. Yet, I still prefer writing for an audience than keeping a diary. For those of us writing about our lives, keeping an audience in mind can make the act of writing even more therapeutic because it makes you look from the outside in. It forces you to examine where the greatest forces of antagonism are coming from, which flaws are of interest, whether the characters’ desires are getting in the way of their goals, if you see the people in your life as complex human beings, whether the narrative includes a character arc, and so on. So, why is the archetype of a writer a self-loathing alcoholic? With all this reflection, you'd think we’d be stable and content, yet we’re often anything but. Writing about yourself, like reading self-help books, requires paying too much attention to yourself—a depressing process when you take yourself too seriously.Whether fiction or nonfiction, all writers draw on their lives in one way or another. Sometimes, a mystical intervention outside of ourselves opens us up to the universe, retires the ego, and leaves a sense of fulfilment. Even then, we’re just tools that filter the information based on our lived experience. So, don’t delude yourself into thinking that buying into our words grants you a magical blueprint for life. Writing, at its core, is a reflection of the messy, complicated world we all share—not a golden ticket to enlightenment or success. If you’re inspired, great. If you feel compelled to support us, even better. Personally, I’d love it. Just don’t confuse a guru, influencer, or religious leader’s advice for your truth, and don’t mistake our stories for a shortcut to living your own.Born Without Borders is a reader-supported guide to the craft of nonconformity, cultural psychology, travel writing and how to salir de las fronteras que impone tu mente. Both free and paid subscriptions are available. If you want to support my work and help me upgrade to more than one cabin bag, the best way is to take out a paid subscription.Born Without Borders is only $5/month or $30/year now! Related Articles This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bornwithoutborders.substack.com/subscribe
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    5 min
  • Hamburg, Germany Makes You Smarter & More Liberal.

    Hamburg, Germany Makes You Smarter & More Liberal.
    Sep 3 2024
    Within seconds of stepping out of the train in Hamburg, I saw bearded people in dresses, women in Abayas, hippies, and business professionals smoking weed, downing beers, making deals, laughing, and, best of all, mixing.Hamburg was a refreshing breath of diversity after two months in Poland. The progressive air continued to breeze throughout my entire trip, thanks to my couch surfing host. We walked the streets where anarchists plotted their plans and vagrants pissed their pants, window-shopped the alternative fashion designers, and entered the second-hand shops where clothes became affordable. We sailed through the waters that bring fresh seafood to this otherwise sausage-ridden land, cruised bikes through the tree-shadowed paths where millionaires enjoy the coolness of lakes, and spoke of all the other ingredients that make Hamburg a home for people from all walks of life.This guide isn’t for all walks of life, though. This is for those who want to save money while enjoying the sea, rivers, art, fashion, and gay-friendly football. Born Without Borders is a reader-supported guide to the craft of nonconformity, cultural psychology, travel writing and how to salir de las fronteras que impone tu mente. Both free and paid subscriptions are available. If you want to support my work and help me upgrade to more than one cabin bag, the best way is to take out a paid subscription.Rivers & SeaMy first impression of Germany was Bavaria, the region where every town claims to have the best sausage. It also happens to be the most conservative region. Although I don’t know the exact correlation coefficient between sausage intake and political disposition, I believe the cause is being too far away from the sea or, better yet, ports. Hamburg's port is the third-largest in Europe, following Rotterdam in the Netherlands and Antwerp in Belgium. Although stats and the current political climate show that these aren’t the most liberal cities, if you get your head out of the numbers and into the streets, you’ll notice these cities vibrate with diverse, artistic, and forward-thinking communities. The same goes for other European cities with ports, such as Barcelona, Copenhagen, and Stockholm, although the latter two don’t feel nearly as diverse as Hamburg. Obviously, not all port cities are liberal, but there’s no doubt that the variety of food, goods, people, and drugs that ships bring impact an open mind and progressive thinking. Plus, there’s no denying that eating fatty fish is healthier for your brain than fatty sausages. Am I saying progressive thinking takes more brainpower than traditional and conservative thinking? Of course. Progressive thinking often involves considering multiple perspectives, integrating new information, and adapting to changing environments. Higher openness is also linked to greater neural activity in areas of the brain involved in processing new information and making connections between disparate ideas.Progressive thinking often involves more complex moral reasoning, which can involve balancing competing ethical principles, considering the welfare of diverse groups, and being open to changing one's views in light of new evidence. But let’s get back to the travel writing conservatives can enjoy, too (and let’s remember we’re all conservative relative to what we like). The sea might bring you the people that broaden your mind and the fish to keep it working, but it’s Hamburg’s lakes and canals that bring it peace. Thanks to Danish NGO GreenKayak, you can paddle them for free while collecting waste from the waste from the Alster—Hamburg's second most important river. The first is the Elbe River, which is known for its international importance as a tidal waterway and its susceptibility to flooding.That’s why you have buildings like the Elbphilharmonie, the iconic concert hall that allows water to flow underneath the building through specially designed openings and channels, ensuring that the water does not flood the surrounding streets.From here, you’re only a ten-minute bike ride (which is free with Stadtrad, Hamburg’s city bike-sharing system, since it takes under 30 minutes) from Hamburg’s most famous neighbourhood, St. Pauli.Art & FashionMy first stop in St. Pauli was the former Nazi bunker transformed into a hip green space for artists and musicians with panoramic views of the city. A few minutes from here, you have the Repabahn, the street known as the "sinful mile.” As with all Red Light districts, we shouldn’t deny that they support sex traffickers and drug dealers, but from the people I interviewed, it seemed most were there by choice. One woman happened to be a kindergarten teacher saving up for a downpayment through horny dudes.Not only does the street fulfil the salacious desires of cisgender fuckboys, LGBTQ+- activists, swinging couples, curious minds, and drunken souls, but it’s also a place the pious, bourgeoisie, and high-culture seekers can ...
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    10 min