Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace

Auteur(s): Becky Kolb Estrangement and Relationship Coach
  • Résumé

  • Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace Podcast is hosted by me, Becky Kolb. I help parents who are estranged from their kids - whether a small child or adult. Estrangement is often called the silent epidemic because people bury their emotional pain deep inside. It's difficult to talk about and you don't want to burden your friends with your sad story. And you may feel guilt and shame like I did and that just exacerbates the issue.

    You struggle to make sense of a child you loved and cared for since birth has abandoned a relationship with you. And you may also battle family (or ex-family) who sides against you and contributes to the estrangement. In either case, you are blamed.

    My estrangement came in two instances. As an infant when my biological father left me and my mother and later in life when I divorced and gave up an adopted daughter. And then post-divorce, my ex-husband was killed in a one car rollover and I was blamed. Wrought with guilt and shame, the estrangement lasted 7 years and my son and his family are still distant.

    Growing up in a Christian family, I struggled with some of the decisions I made and even more so with family who judged and rejected me. I felt God was judging me and had also abandoned me. But it was during that estrangement that God pursued me and overwhelmingly poured out his love and mercy and forgiveness.

    The God I thought rejected me was standing with arms wide open waiting for me to turn around. Consequences from some of my decisions lingered but his love and forgiveness carried me through. It was a relationship God wanted with me. Not religion. It was life changing. And it's what brought about reconciliation and restoration of my family. Relationships today that are stronger than ever before.

    I felt a strong sense or call to share my story. God seemed to be impressing upon me that I had suffered guilt, shame and estrangement and so do others. He wanted me to share his influence with me and how he could help others like you too.

    My own story of estrangement is steeped in my faith and the amazing things God did for me and my family as we reconciled. I share that story in podcasts and blogs, but it isn't something I push on anyone. I coach people with other faith beliefs too and have a deep respect for everyone's decision and right to religious freedom.

    CONNECT with me at www.beckykolb.com
    DOWNLOAD my story at: www.beckykolb.com/guide

    © 2025 Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace
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Épisodes
  • 20: New Beginnings and Estrangement
    Jan 4 2025

    Happy New Year! We all love new beginnings, right? Out with the old and in with the new is a familiar motto for ringing in a new year. And not much as changed. You’re still estranged from someone you care about. A child, grandchild, sibling, or someone else.

    You’re hoping that this may be the year it all turns around. The relationship is healed and restored. No more heartache. Same song but different verse.

    Well, I want to encourage you to shift your mindset and open to the possibility of new beginnings whether that happens. The truth is that relationships may never be restored. It feels like a sore that never heals. Let’s explore some encouragement and hope to make this a truly blessed and hopeful year for you.

    Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/20.

    Becky Kolb helps people with estranged relationships find peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn to live with the relationship as it is, overcome a shredded self-esteem and develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contact

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    11 min
  • 19:Rise Above Estrangement and Adversity
    Dec 29 2024

    It’s a new year. Are you ready to rise above estrangement and adversity and chart a new path for yourself? I’m not talking about establishing new years resolutions. I am talking about revolutionary changes.

    Change can set your heart free from anxiety and worry about anything and everything. There has never been a better time than now. You’ve just come out of the holidays and may have experienced sadness over loss of relationships.

    I reached that point in my life and discovered the #1 relationship that could transform all others, and I’ll talk about that and offer some strategies for you in today’s episode.

    Are you ready to close the door to the things that cause you grief, sadness, shame, and worry? Are you ready to rise on the winds of adversity? Let’s roll!

    Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/19.

    Becky Kolb helps people with estranged relationships find peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn to live with the relationship as it is, overcome a shredded self-esteem and develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contact

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    13 min
  • 18: A Gift for the Estranged
    Dec 15 2024

    I have a gift for the estranged in today’s episode. After all, it’s the gift giving season, right? Estrangement creates sadness and accentuates that we feel unloved and unwanted. I am hopeful that you’ve read my story of estranged relationships. It’s on my website.

    Would it surprise you to know that not all my relationships have been restored? Like you, I struggle at this time of year when families gather. We see and hear about families gathering with laughter, hugs, and happiness. And we think we’re the only ones suffering with estrangement.

    First, that’s a lie. 70 million people live with estrangement. Secondly, social media is not your friend. People only post what they want others to see. No one posts about their crazy aunt and her disturbing antics.

    Or the father who failed to show for his kids. Or the drunk relative who always makes a scene. So, grab your favorite beverage, sit back, and unwrap the gift I want to give you today.

    Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/18.

    Becky Kolb helps people with estranged relationships find peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn to live with the relationship as it is, overcome a shredded self-esteem and develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contact

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    13 min

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