Derek Sivers is a TED speaker, an essayist, a businessman, a musician, one of my favorite thinkers on the planet, and the author of many books including his most recent, Useful Not True: Whatever Works For You.

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(00:00) Intro

(01:00) Your actions reveal your values

(03:25) Obvious to you, amazing to someone else

(05:19) How Derek thinks about money

(13:03) Deep happy vs. shallow happy

(21:00) Following an innate drive and desire

(24:07) 18 months of feeling adrift

(30:04) To find direction: read a lot and wait for energy

(31:18) The power of heroes and anti-heroes

(36:05) Egotists and hedonists

(40:00) Changing your mind and keeping your identity small

(44:37) Think of yourself as a student, not a preacher

(47:42) Personal growth over wealth growth

(53:00) Prioritizing openness

(56:59) What lifestyles or beliefs is Derek against?

(01:04:50) The downside of optimism in Derek's personal life

(01:14:24) Dating, marriage, and the role of women in Derek's life

(01:23:55) How to save a life with $2,000

(01:27:50) Derek's thoughts on philanthropy

(01:33:54) "Useful Not True"

(01:38:39) A prequel to "How To Live"

(01:41:13) "Useful Not True": the truth of many answers and perspectives

Anna Lembke is a psychiatrist, Chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic, and the author of "Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence."

This is a rebroadcast of episode 35, from 2022.

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(00:00) Intro

(00:57) Anna Lembke’s interest in studying addiction

(04:34) Defining addiction and the "gremlin theory" of addiction

(15:19) Characteristics of an addict

(23:48) The stigma around addictions

(26:46) Characteristics of a healthy person living today

(33:50) The importance and role of struggle in a good life

(41:04) The impact of modern addictions on society today

(46:54) Habit change ideas and the role of struggle in a good life

(52:11) How to know if you're becoming an addict

(58:45) The effective and ethical way to address addiction

(01:03:58) Workaholism as an addiction

(01:20:13) The connection between shame and a “never enough” attitude towards work

Russell Foster is a sleep expert, a professor of circadian neuroscience, a fellow of the Royal Society, and the author of Life Time.

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(00:00) Intro

(00:55) Views on sleep through time

(03:34) Why we have de-prioritized sleep

(05:39) Where should sleep rank in our health priorities?

(08:22) How do we know we're getting enough sleep?

(11:59) The historic and current cost of sleep deprivation

(17:44) Why does sleep exist?

(21:53) What is happening biologically while people sleep?

(27:59) Sleep and mental illness

(38:09) What those with mental illness can do to stabilize their sleep

(01:00:25) Sleep for new parents

(01:03:35) How would a healthy society approach sleep?

Nick Pollard, "The People Displeaser," is a speaker and life coach who advocates for honest, authentic living through mindful boundaries, free of people-pleasing.

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(00:00) Intro

(01:00) When Nick's was homicidal and suicidal

(04:09) Nick's father

(09:10) How Nick got his life together

(18:08) Why Nick focuses on people-pleasing

(23:25) Symptoms of a people-pleaser

(26:44) Why do people become people-pleasers?

(31:23) Your rules for life and a personal bill of rights

(37:23) Establishing personal boundaries

(42:39) Confronting fear and quotes from Jim Hollis

(49:16) People-pleasers often have few same-sex friends

(57:11) When should former people-pleasers leave relationships?

(01:09:15) Nick's relationship deal-breakers

Pico Iyer is a novelist, a travel writer, and the author of many books, including his most recent, "Aflame: Learning From Silence," which is the subject of this conversation.

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(00:00) Intro

(00:00) Intro

(00:58) Santa Barbara, June 1990

(04:25) The New Camaldoli Hermitage

(07:30) Pico's life when he first went to New Camaldoli

(11:08) Silence elicits gratitude, what's shared and what's essential

(16:10) Intentionally turning off technology

(22:39) Creating a wise amount of "cathedral time"

(25:53) Embracing silence as a non-religious person

(32:03) Leonard Cohen exploring his inner landscape in silence

(36:05) How Pico has developed from his 100+ hermitage visits

(41:35) Saying no in order to prioritize space for silence

(47:07) How to begin a life with more silence and contemplation

(50:41) Silence as an antidote to despair

(54:36) What Pico has learned from the Dalai Lama

Orville Schell is an author, a journalist, a China scholar, and the director of the Asia Society's Center on U.S.-China Relations.

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(00:00) Intro

(01:00) Orville's entering China in the 1970s

(07:10) Was was China like in the 1970s?

(10:09) The palpable fear in China in the 1970s

(14:55) The details of Mao Zedong the Cultural Revolution

(20:40) What preceded Communism in China?

(25:32) Why was Communism appealing to Chinese revolutionaries?

(30:11) China in the 1970s and how it reopened to the world

(37:10) Why did China not become free after the 1980s?

(41:39) 1989 and Tiananmen Square

(45:28) China in the next few years

(52:19) How might China become free?

(55:26) Why China matters

Joseph Goldstein is an author, the co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA, and is one of the most influential and important figures to bring vipassana meditation practices into the American mainstream.

A rebroadcast from 2022.

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(00:00) Intro

(00:45) How Joseph ended up in Asia a young man

(04:39) Reason for interest in Buddhism and meditation

(08:59) Immersing in the study of the mind

(12:41) The Buddha’s teachings

(18:52) Joseph's psychological state when first exposed to Buddhism and meditation

(21:01) The daily habits, discipline, and rituals to try to achieve Enlightenment

(27:14) Deciding to devote his life to meditation

(30:11) Communicating to his mother his desire to devote his life to Buddhism

(32:59) Metaphysical views pre and post meditation

(37:46) Buddhism is non-theistic

(40:14) What is the Dharma?

(44:48) Integrating Buddhist teachings with practice and The Noble Eightfold Path

(53:37) The first step to use mindfulness to ease psychological suffering

(01:01:24) Awareness versus the weather pattern of one's mind

(01:04:30) Using mindfulness to respond, rather than to react

(01:15:37) Dealing with grief

(01:24:50) How can we improve our lives by being mindful?

James Hollis is a psychoanalyst, one of the world's most prolific Jungian thinkers, and the author of many books, including "Living An Examined Life."

A rebroadcast from 2021.

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(00:00) Intro

(01:02) Jim's transition from academia to psychoanalysis

(06:24) The decision to pursue psychoanalysis as a full-time profession

(10:59) Gathering the courage to pursue psychoanalysis

(18:19) What about Jung’s work resonated with Jim?

(30:16) Jim's process of helping people navigate the transitionary phases of their lives

(41:31) The most pressing issues Jim sees facing Americans

(48:24) The primary blockers to growth and self-healing

(51:54) Discerning the difference fears you should avoid and fears you should face

(57:01) Exhausted relationships vs. relationships that need endurance

(01:09:02) The ratio of men vs. women seeking counsel and therapy and how it’s changed over the years

(01:13:21) Why most men tend to suppress their innermost emotions

(01:19:49) Jim's explanation of Joseph Campbell’s ‘hero’s journey’

(01:25:31) How to live an examined, authentic life