The holidays are marketed as the ‘most wonderful time of the year,’ but for many of us, they’re filled with stress, awkward moments, and the impossible pressure to make everything perfect. In this episode, we’re flipping the script and focusing on what really matters—connection.

I’m sharing my own holiday journey, from rebelling against the traditions I felt trapped by to finally finding balance. Plus, we’ll explore:

•Why perfection is overrated and connection is everything.

•How to navigate awkward moments with humor and curiosity.

•Tips for managing family dynamics without losing your mind.

•The small, meaningful moments that make the season special.

•How to set boundaries and prioritize your joy, too.

This episode is packed with real talk, laughs, and actionable tips to help you not just survive the season, but actually enjoy it. So grab a cup of cocoa—or your favorite holiday snack—and let’s get into it!

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

•The truth about holiday expectations and why they set us up for disappointment.

•Strategies for handling uncomfortable family conversations and dynamics.

•Simple ways to prioritize connection over chaos.

•How to embrace the season in a way that feels authentic to you.

Thank you for listening! If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend or leave a review. I’d love to hear your favorite holiday moments—or how you’re finding ways to prioritize connection over perfection this year.

Would you like any tweaks or additional resources added to the notes?

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In today’s episode, we’re uncovering a powerful strategy for stopping arguments before they even begin. It’s all about recognizing that two perspectives can coexist—yours and your partner’s—and that both can be valid, even if they’re different. Too often, we get caught up in defending our experience as the only experience, but there’s a deeper connection to be found when we make room for both truths.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

•Why so many arguments stem from a lack of curiosity about each other’s experience

•The concept of “two truths” and how it can shift relationship dynamics

•A real-life example from Meg’s own relationship that illustrates the power of this mindset

•Practical tips to help you stop an argument before it starts by listening without defending

Listen now and discover a new approach that can bring more understanding and closeness to your relationship!

•Connect with Meg on Instagram & Facebook

•Check out this previous episode on breaking the cycle of repetitive fights

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review! Your feedback helps me reach more people who want real, lasting connection in their relationships.

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In this episode, we dive into a crucial aspect of relationships—understanding the difference between reaction and response, or put another way, conscious action versus impulsive reaction. I break down what these terms really mean and how we often get caught up in reactions driven by our emotional triggers, which can lead to conflict and disconnection in our relationships.

We explore emotional triggers using a relatable analogy: triggers are like pressure cookers—building over time until something small causes them to release all that pent-up pressure. I share my personal experience of being triggered in a conversation with my partner, and how understanding the underlying emotion helped me respond more thoughtfully.

Tune in as I offer five practical tips for recognizing when you’re reacting instead of responding, and how you can use that awareness to create more intentional and supportive interactions with your partner. If you’ve ever found yourself feeling out of control in the heat of the moment, this episode is for you!

Key Points:

•The difference between reaction (emotion-driven) and response (awareness-driven)

•Understanding emotional triggers and the pressure cooker analogy

•My personal story of being triggered and how I learned from it

•Five practical steps to shift from reacting to responding in your relationship

•The importance of pausing, reflecting, and creating space between your emotions and your actions

Practical Tips:

1.Check Your Body – Notice physical signs of stress (tightness, clenching, racing heart).

2.Pause and Breathe – Practice breathing techniques to calm your nervous system.

3.Identify the Trigger – Ask yourself what just happened and why you feel this way.

4.Reflect Before Responding – Take time before responding to think clearly.

5.Practice Mindfulness – Incorporate habits like meditation and journaling to increase self-awareness.

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In this episode I dive into how our perceptions and the stories we create in our minds can control our behavior and reactions in relationships. Often, we’re not responding to what’s actually happening but to the narrative we’ve built around it. I share a personal example from my relationship with Walt, where I realized I was reacting to a story rather than what was happening in the moment. I'll explore how to recognize when you’re caught in a narrative, why releasing that story is essential for closeness, and how you can step back into the present moment with your partner. I’ll also share a few practical tips to help you break free from those stories and foster a deeper connection.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

•How the mind creates stories that distort reality.

•The impact these stories have on your behavior and reactions in relationships.

•How to recognize whether you’re reacting to a story or the present moment.

•Tips for letting go of your story to stay connected with your partner.

•Why releasing your own narrative is key to building closeness and trust.

Episode Highlights:

• A personal example from my relationship with Walt and how I realized I was reacting to a story, not reality.

• How to recognize the signs of being caught in a mental narrative.

•Tips to let go of your story and stay present with your partner.

Tune in and learn how to break free from the stories in your head and build a more present, connected relationship.

Are you ready to improve your relationship???

Click here to book a free discovery call, and we can talk about how you can begin TODAY!

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In this episode, I’m sharing a personal story about a moment in my relationship that challenged me to rethink how I show up with affection and vulnerability. When Walt brought up how I was responding to his attempts for affection, my initial reaction was resistance and blame. I’ll walk you through the feelings that surfaced, how I realized my judgments were based on old memories and past fears, and the breakthrough that came from leaning into vulnerability.

Here’s what we’ll cover:

•The power of pausing and reflecting before reacting to your partner

•Why past fears can build walls in your current relationship

•How to shift from judgment to curiosity and openness

•The importance of being present and vulnerable to build trust and closeness

You’ll leave this episode with a new perspective on how your past experiences may be impacting your ability to connect with your partner, and how practicing presence and vulnerability can help rebuild trust and intimacy.

Listen now to learn how being present and vulnerable can lead to deeper connection in your relationship.

Key Highlights:

•The conversation with Walt that sparked this insight

•Why we often feel defensive when our partner asks for more

•How old memories can shape our present reactions

•What happens when we choose vulnerability over protection

If this resonates with you, and you’re ready to work on bringing more vulnerability and trust into your relationship, I’d love to help. Let’s have a conversation about how coaching can support you.

Schedule a call with me:

https://MegLamm.as.me/Discovery

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In this episode of This Isn’t Working, we’re diving into the idea of “unspoken agreements” in relationships—those expectations we carry around in our minds without even realizing it. We explore how these unspoken agreements can create tension and frustration when our partners don’t live up to the rules we’ve set in our heads.

I share a personal story about how these unspoken expectations showed up in my own relationship and the surprising lessons I learned. Plus, I’ll give you practical tips on how to bring these expectations out into the open, communicate more effectively, and build a stronger connection with your partner.

What You’ll Learn:

•What unspoken agreements are and how they can silently undermine your relationship.

•The importance of recognizing and communicating your expectations.

•Real-life examples of how unspoken agreements can play out in relationships.

•Actionable strategies for breaking the cycle of frustration and fostering better communication.

Reflection Questions:

•What unspoken agreements might you be holding onto in your relationship?

•How have these expectations affected your interactions with your partner?

•What steps can you take to communicate your needs and expectations more clearly?

Reboot your Relationship...

•Join the webinar Saturday, September 21st

Connect with Me:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/meg.r.lamm

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meg_lamm1/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@meg.lamm?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

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In this episode of This Isn’t Working, we explore the power of turning your focus inward when you find yourself reacting to your partner. Meg shares a personal story about a recent experience with her partner, Walt, where she found herself caught up in trying to control an external situation which really had nothing to do with her feelings.

Instead of continuing the cycle of reactivity, she realized the importance of shifting her attention back to herself, where she has control over her emotions and responses. This episode dives into how old patterns and stories from the past can trigger unnecessary stress and conflict in relationships—and how you can break free from that loop by taking responsibility for your own feelings.

**Key Takeaways:**

- How focusing on external factors (like your partner’s actions) can increase stress and anxiety.

- The benefits of turning inward and taking responsibility for your own emotions.

- How past experiences can create stories that drive reactivity, and how to recognize when this is happening.

- Practical questions you can ask yourself to shift from reacting to reflecting.

**Reflection Questions:**

To help you on your journey of self-awareness, here are some key reflection questions mentioned in this episode:

1. What am I feeling right now, and why?

2. What part of this situation is triggering me?

3. What story am I telling myself about my partner’s actions?

4. Am I making assumptions about my partner’s intentions?

5. How can I show understanding or compassion in this moment?

**Download the Full List of Reflection Questions:**

Want to dive deeper? Click here to download the full list of reflection questions to help you turn inward and take control of your emotional responses.

**Listen & Subscribe:**

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to *This Isn’t Working* on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Don’t forget to leave a review and share this episode with someone who might benefit from it!

**Follow Me on Social for More Tips & Suggestions!**

https://www.facebook.com/meg.r.lamm

https://www.instagram.com/meg_lamm1/

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**Join the Conversation:**

Have thoughts on this episode? I'd love to hear from you! Join the conversation by leaving a comment below or connecting with me on social media.

Thanks for tuning in, and remember, you have the power to control your own emotions and choose your responses.

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The Trap of "Should": We explore how the tendency to behave in ways we think we "should" or that are "good" for others can lead us away from our true selves. This disconnection from authenticity is a major contributor to feeling lonely in a relationship.

People-Pleasing and Boundaries: Learn how actions driven by obligation, people-pleasing, or an inability to say "no" can create a barrier between who we really are and who our partners think we are. When we sacrifice our true selves, we compromise our emotional intimacy and connection.

The Illusion of Connection: Discover how our partners may unknowingly fall in love with our behaviors rather than our true selves, leading to a sense of loneliness and disconnection.

The Role of Integrity: We discuss the importance of integrity in relationships—acting in alignment with who we truly are rather than manipulating situations, even unintentionally, to control the reactions of others.

What to Do: This episode offers practical suggestions for how to reconnect with your authentic self and bring that into your relationship, creating a deeper, more genuine connection with your partner.

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