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  • Why Won't You Apologize?

  • Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts
  • Written by: Harriet Lerner PhD
  • Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
  • Length: 4 hrs and 36 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (61 ratings)

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Why Won't You Apologize?

Written by: Harriet Lerner PhD
Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
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Publisher's Summary

Renowned psychologist and best-selling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language - I'm sorry - and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust.

Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies - and why some people won't give them - for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we've inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Listeners will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful "I'm sorry" and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury.

Why Won't You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party - the one who has been hurt by someone who won't apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.

©2017 Harriet Lerner. All rights reserved. (P)2017 Simon & Schuster

What listeners say about Why Won't You Apologize?

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Why won’t you Apologize

This book is exceptional. It gives you a wide variety of different situations and ways to conduct yourself if any of them apply to you. It gives you both size of tough communication examples. The real life examples really hit home and can resonate with more than one.

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Another beautiful book to help us heal

I’m grateful for the knowledge. I’m encouraged by Dr. Lerner’s courage to show her own vulnerabilities and acknowledgment that she also makes mistakes. But it’s never too late to recognize our failings and give a heartfelt apology for the part we have played in a ruptured relationship. Thank you always for your help.

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Probably a good read for everyone

While most of this novel's contents may not be groundbreaking, they are excellent reminders of how important relationship ruptures and repairs are. Excellent read for anyone looking to become a better person.

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Everyone should read this!

I first listened to Harriet Lerner and Brené Brown’s podcast: Why Won’t You Apologize. It was the most helpful piece of self-care/relationship literature I had read so far about the importance of a good apology.

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A Life Skill

This book should be taught to children in schools and if it were the world would be a better place.

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EVERYONE needs to read this book.

I chose this book on a whim. The idea of a whole book talking about the complexities of apologies and what they mean intrigued me. This book has helped me immensely with interpersonal conflict, and understanding why people do things a certain way. It made me face some things that I was doing when I apologized that unhelpful and not really an apology. This has been such an impactful book for me, so I will definitely be reading other books written by this author.

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