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Why Won't You Apologize?
Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts
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Narrated by:
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Cassandra Campbell
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Written by:
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Harriet Lerner PhD
About this listen
Renowned psychologist and best-selling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language - I'm sorry - and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust.
Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies - and why some people won't give them - for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we've inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Listeners will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful "I'm sorry" and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury.
Why Won't You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party - the one who has been hurt by someone who won't apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.
©2017 Harriet Lerner. All rights reserved. (P)2017 Simon & SchusterYou may also enjoy...
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"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.
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very insightful
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Unhappiness, says best-selling author Harriet Lerner, is fueled by three key emotions: anxiety, fear, and shame. They are the uninvited guests in our lives. When tragedy or hardship hit, they may become our constant companions.
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From a clinical psychologist who served as a clinical supervisor in the Department of Psychology at Yale University, received the CPA’s award for Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology, and has treated couples and trained therapists for over four decades, this newly updated, award-winning book provides concrete, proven strategies for those who seek to survive their partner’s infidelity and to rebuild the relationship after an affair. This new third edition of After the Affair helps guide both hurt and unfaithful partners through three stages of healing.
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Must Read! Very Accurate! Exactly what both Hurt and Unfaithful partners need to read
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When The Dance of Deception was published, Lerner discovered that women were not eager to identify with the subject. "Well, I don't do deception" was a common response. We all "do deception", often with the intention to protect ourselves and the relationships we depend on. The Dance of Deception unravels the ways (and whys) that women show the false and hide the real - even to our own selves. We see how relationships are affected by lying and faking, by silence and pretending and by brave - but misguided - efforts to tell the truth.
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- Written by: Harriet Lerner
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- Abridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In her most affirming and life-changing book yet, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say).
-
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informative
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Written by: Harriet Lerner
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The Dance of Intimacy
- A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships
- Written by: Harriet Lerner Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Harriet Lerner
- Length: 2 hrs and 52 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Dance of Intimacy takes a careful look at relationships where intimacy is most challenged by too much emotional distance, too much intensity, or simply too much pain. In clear, direct, and dramatic terms, Dr. Lerner illustrates how we can move differently in these relationships, be they with a distant or unfaithful spouse, a depressed sister, a difficult mother, an alcoholic father, an uncommitted lover, a dying parent, or an estranged family member.
-
-
Missing content
- By Anonymous User on 2025-01-26
Written by: Harriet Lerner Ph.D.
-
The Dance of Anger
- A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships
- Written by: Harriet Lerner
- Narrated by: Barbara Caruso
- Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.
-
-
very insightful
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Written by: Harriet Lerner
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Fear and Other Uninvited Guests
- Tackling the Anxiety, Fear, and Shame That Keeps Us from Optimal Living
- Written by: Harriet Lerner, Ph.D
- Narrated by: Harriet Lerner
- Length: 3 hrs and 44 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Unhappiness, says best-selling author Harriet Lerner, is fueled by three key emotions: anxiety, fear, and shame. They are the uninvited guests in our lives. When tragedy or hardship hit, they may become our constant companions.
Written by: Harriet Lerner, and others
-
After the Affair, Third Edition
- Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful
- Written by: Janis A. Spring
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From a clinical psychologist who served as a clinical supervisor in the Department of Psychology at Yale University, received the CPA’s award for Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology, and has treated couples and trained therapists for over four decades, this newly updated, award-winning book provides concrete, proven strategies for those who seek to survive their partner’s infidelity and to rebuild the relationship after an affair. This new third edition of After the Affair helps guide both hurt and unfaithful partners through three stages of healing.
-
-
Must Read! Very Accurate! Exactly what both Hurt and Unfaithful partners need to read
- By Desmond Soon on 2021-11-15
Written by: Janis A. Spring
-
The Dance of Deception
- A Guide to Authenticity and Truth Telling in Women's Relationships
- Written by: Harriet Lerner PhD
- Narrated by: Harriet Lerner
- Length: 2 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When The Dance of Deception was published, Lerner discovered that women were not eager to identify with the subject. "Well, I don't do deception" was a common response. We all "do deception", often with the intention to protect ourselves and the relationships we depend on. The Dance of Deception unravels the ways (and whys) that women show the false and hide the real - even to our own selves. We see how relationships are affected by lying and faking, by silence and pretending and by brave - but misguided - efforts to tell the truth.
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Following a unique format perfect for today's world, the renowned author of The Dance of Anger gives us just over 100 rules that cover all the hot spots in long-term relationships. Marriage Rules offers new solutions to age-old problems ("He won't talk"/"She doesn't want sex") as well as modern ones (your partner's relationship to technology.)
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Performance
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Based on entirely new research - including a detailed questionnaire completed by five million people in 33 countries - Why Him? Why Her? will change your understanding of why you love him (or her) and help you use nature's chemistry to find and keep your life partner.
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Very informative!
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Performance
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The #MeToo movement brought worldwide attention to sexual violence, but while the media focused on the fates of a few notorious predators who were put on trial, we heard far less about the outcomes of those trials for the survivors of their abuse. The conventional retributive process fails to serve most survivors; it was never designed for them. Renowned trauma expert Judith L. Herman argues that the first step toward a better form of justice is simply to ask survivors what would make things as right as possible for them.
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What listeners say about Why Won't You Apologize?
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Claudia Orellana
- 2022-12-17
Another beautiful book to help us heal
I’m grateful for the knowledge. I’m encouraged by Dr. Lerner’s courage to show her own vulnerabilities and acknowledgment that she also makes mistakes. But it’s never too late to recognize our failings and give a heartfelt apology for the part we have played in a ruptured relationship. Thank you always for your help.
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- Kathy Nix
- 2020-09-29
EVERYONE needs to read this book.
I chose this book on a whim. The idea of a whole book talking about the complexities of apologies and what they mean intrigued me. This book has helped me immensely with interpersonal conflict, and understanding why people do things a certain way. It made me face some things that I was doing when I apologized that unhelpful and not really an apology. This has been such an impactful book for me, so I will definitely be reading other books written by this author.
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- Anonymous User
- 2022-08-04
Probably a good read for everyone
While most of this novel's contents may not be groundbreaking, they are excellent reminders of how important relationship ruptures and repairs are. Excellent read for anyone looking to become a better person.
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- Anonymous User
- 2021-03-21
Everyone should read this!
I first listened to Harriet Lerner and Brené Brown’s podcast: Why Won’t You Apologize. It was the most helpful piece of self-care/relationship literature I had read so far about the importance of a good apology.
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- Ashlin
- 2020-10-17
A Life Skill
This book should be taught to children in schools and if it were the world would be a better place.
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- Robyn
- 2023-09-18
Why won’t you Apologize
This book is exceptional. It gives you a wide variety of different situations and ways to conduct yourself if any of them apply to you. It gives you both size of tough communication examples. The real life examples really hit home and can resonate with more than one.
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