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Believing Me

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Complex Trauma

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Believing Me

Written by: Ingrid Clayton
Narrated by: Ingrid Clayton PhD
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About this listen

"Why don’t you come sit on my lap, so you don’t have to crank your neck?"

I didn’t have bruises.

She never left him.

He didn’t actually rape me.

Maybe I wasn’t worth believing.

Maybe it wasn’t that bad.

What if emotional abuse is so hidden that its effects remain unchallenged for decades, masquerading as personal failings?

Believing Me is an emotionally gripping memoir that gives language to the hidden and ineffable nature of childhood trauma and how it can imprint on a person, resulting in fractured self-esteem, addictions, perfectionism, and a string of abusive relationships.

Ingrid Clayton had been in the pursuit of healing for a lifetime including becoming a clinical psychologist and trauma therapist, but she never fully understood what she was healing from. Growing up in a fog of gaslighting made her question her reality. It wasn’t until she sat next to Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score) as he shared a case study so similar to her life that a seed was planted. “Trauma” might be a word that was personal to her.

When her stepfather died, Ingrid felt a calling to write her story, and these were the truths reflected in her words. By recounting vivid childhood memories, she wrote her way through patterns of lies and denial that had infected her entire family. She came to face the feelings she had minimized for so long.

By reclaiming her story, Ingrid transcended the role of healer into someone becoming healed, showing us what real healing looks like in the process.

©2022 Ingrid Clayton, PhD (P)2022 Ingrid Clayton, PhD
Biographies & Memoirs Mental Health Personal Development Psychology
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a beautiful story of healing and hope. thank you

Dr. Clayton your book was so impacted, it was like you were telling MY story. it was so well written and read. I can not thank you enough. You have given me permission to see my true self for the first time.

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Healing

This book offered me words and descriptions for things I could never articulate. It is beautifully written, and I couldn’t put it down. Her story offers validation and opportunities for healing to others.

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Reading this book is a profound act of healing.

Just an incredibly laid out journey of healing. The humility and honesty allow the reader to understand their own relationships in powerful new ways and open new doors to self healing. I am awestruck.

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Validating Me

Poured through this in a weekend and journalled over 30 pages and added bookmarks through the glossary with my own takeaways. I love a good biography of "people who have it worse" (one of my own flight /dissosiative responses to trauma) I gleamed so many lessons to apply to my own healing. While my childhood "was not that bad", while listening to Ingrid's story, I also began to see the insidiousness of these trauma bonds I've created in my adult relationships and have many more tools and ideas to break this cycle for myself and my child. Many thanks go to the author for this book and her Instagram which have shone light into dark corners of my being and helped me find some hope and healing.

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Seeing myself in your story

Thank you. I struggle with allowing myself to believe that my own painful experiences were truly traumatic. So many people watched and said nothing when I was held hostage in my home by my parents and psychopathic (18-year-old) boyfriend at age 15. They later shamed me for ending up pregnant at 16, even after my baby girl was stillborn at 8 months the gaslighting and shame/blaming continued. I'm thankful to be alive and feel the waves of grief and sadness wash over me daily. Hearing you struggle with your own validation helped me reinforce mine. The more we share, the more we heal.

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Like looking in the mirror

This was a simultaneously validating and heart breaking read. Thank you for the vulnerability and bravery to share your story. I look forward to whatever you publish next.

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