Today’s episode brings us the first of three parts of an exciting interview with Valerie Porr, Author and Founder of the Treatment and Research Advancements National Association for Personality Disorder (TARA4BPD), a non-for-profit organization founded in 1995. We unpack why BPD, after 30+ years of research, is still so stigmatized by psychiatrists, clinicians, and mental health providers. You don’t want to miss her breakdown of how BPD differences are not recognized as advantages in today’s world.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Valerie Porr

• Website: https://www.tara4bpd.org//

• LINK FOR VALERIE'S AWARD-WINNING BOOK: "Overcoming Borderline Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 3:45 How She Unpacked Patterns in How PwBPD Respond to Their Loved Ones?

• 7:35 Is it BPD Manipulation or Survival?

• 11:21 Why Everyone Should Take A Closer Look at BPD Hypervigilance?

• 15:30 Why BPD Differences Are Not Recognized as Advantages in Today's World?

• 19:29 Are You Having A BPD Reaction or A Human Reaction?

• 23:39 How to Connect with Valerie

• 27:20 Closing

(End of Interview)

• 28:40 Closing Statement & BPD Daily Mantra

• 29:40 Outro

Episode Resources:

• Press Pause, Inc.’s Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

o Free & low-cost BPD resources and support, including career coaching

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole presspause4grace@gmail.com

Music Producer: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Support The Show:

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1w8Al9kFeNskbt8COjJifi?si=b83e472252bd4175

Pandora:https://pandora.app.link/aidOtuflGJb

Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/c5a7d061-0a9a-42d8-a264-f28364ebc40d/i-can't-even-kill-myself-right

iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-i-cant-even-kill-myself-ri-174364401

Today’s episode brings us an exciting interview with Dr. Courtney Tracy (known as 'the truth doctor'), a licensed clinical social worker and doctor of clinical psychology with over 2 million followers worldwide. Dr. Tracy shares her personal journey with substance abuse and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD),

Dr. Tracy emphasizes the importance of psychoeducation and understanding the brain's functioning in BPD treatment. She also mentions her upcoming book 'Your Unconscious is Showing,' which adapts the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous into 12 Steps of Consciousness for mental health struggles. Tune in for wisdom, healing strategies, and an empowering approach to overcoming emotional challenges.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Dr. Courtney Tracy, Website: https://www.thetruthdoctor.com/

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 3:36 What Led You to This Type of Work?
• 7:25 How Do You Define Recovery?
• 7:12 Is BPD Recovery Possible?
• 10:56 The Blurred Lines Between Being Borderline and Being Human
• 17:51 The Importance of Psychoeducation About The Body & The Brain
• 21:14 Messages to Dr. Tracy’s Younger and Older Selves
• 27:16 How to Connect with Dr. Tracy
• 30:22 Closing

(End of Interview)

• 30:51 Closing Statement & BPD Daily Mantra
• 31:28 Outro

Episode Resources:

• Dr. Courtney Tracy: https://www.thetruthdoctor.com/

https://www.instagram.com/the.truth.doctor

Link to her book: Dr. Courtney's Book

• Press Pause, Inc.’s Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

Connect with the Host: Nicole: presspause4grace@gmail.com

Credits: Music Producer: DJtheIII, Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

In this special episode, we’re celebrating the season by bringing you a seamless playlist featuring all the incredible songs from past episodes of Press Pause! Whether relaxing at home, taking a winter stroll, or just needing a moment to unwind, this music compilation is designed to provide comfort, inspiration, and joy.

Sit back, press play, and let the melodies take you on a reflective journey through Season 1. It’s the perfect way to revisit the musical highlights from the show and create meaningful moments during the holiday season.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

(Beginning of Playlist)

• • 1:07 Intro to The Holiday Playlist• 1:50 “Free Mind” – Tems: • 3:02 “Healing” by Computer Data: • 4:23 “Ion Like That” by Jane Handcock: • 5:46 “Wasn’t Looking” by Eliza: • 7:07 “[Who?] Keeps Changing Your Mind (Daniel Bowie and Roy Rox Mix)” by South Street Player: • 8:30 ‘What You Afraid Of (DJ Spen & Thommy Davis Disco Phobia Mix)” - Ziggy Funk feat. Taliwa: • 9:56 “Who Am I” by Boddhi Satva Feat. Athenai & C.Robert Walker: • 11:23 “Free” by Stephanie Mills: • 12:45 “Lonely Days” by CocoSA: • 14:05 “Little Things” (Remix) by Jorja Smith ft MayDay: • 15:29 “Gold” by Austin Millz: • 16:51 “Every Word” – Temika Moore: • 18:14 “I Might Do Something Wrong” (Osunlade Lonely Mix) by Tortured Soul: • 19:36 “Acceptance” by Synkro: • 21:00 “When I’m In Your Arms” by Cleo Sol: • 22:22 “Keep Going” (Chosen) by Sevena - • 23:42 “Breathe” by Timi: • 25:08 “Northface” by Sinazza x Kagan: • 26:28 “Stressed’ - Doechii: • 27:50 “Self Love” - Ari Lennox Bas & Baby Rose: • 29:11 Closer by Goapele: • 30:35 “Surely Slowly” by Jill Scott: • 31:57 “FREQUENCY” by Stella: • 33:19 “Thinking Less” by Sinead Harnett Music: • 34:40 “Xorberax”- I Know: • 36:02 “Get Dressed” by NXTLVL4L: • 37:25 “I Am” by Beautiful Chorus featuring India.Arie: • 38:47 “Find Me Here” by Sherwin Gardner: • 40:11 “Forgive Them” by Jane Handcock, Harry Simmons: • 41:33 “Deep End” by Fousheé: • “Say Something (A Great Big World)” - Jacob Banks:

(End of Playlist)

• 44:18 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 44:42 BPD Daily Mantra
• 44:58 OutroConnect with the Host: Nicole Darby: presspause4grace@gmail.comFree BPD Support Resources : https://www.showmegrace.org Credits:Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIIISound Engineer: Stefan MitroiResearch Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

In today’s episode, Nicole Darby sheds light on co-morbidities and their impact on mental health. She explains the significance of the term and explores how understanding co-morbidities can lead to better self-awareness and informed care decisions. Next she discusses using audio and video journaling to help regulate emotions.

Following Tool Time, relax with a Mindful Moment featuring a guided meditation on manifesting your future self. This reflective practice encourages clarity, intention, and personal growth, helping you envision the life you aspire to create.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Tool Time With Nicole Darby)

• 1:07 Intro to Tool Time
• 1:45 Term of The Day: Co-Morbidities

(Beginning of Tool Time With Nicole Darby)

• 3:00 Intro to Tool Time - Audio and Video Journaling

(Beginning of Mindful Moment)

• 5:16 Intro to a Mindful Moment
• 5:32 Beginning of Meditation on Manifesting Your Future Self

(End of Mindful Moment)

• 19:33 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 19:55 BPD Daily Mantra
• 20:11 Outro
• 21:31 “Say Something (A Great Big World)” - Jacob Banks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqbqY_Yiyys

Episode Resources:

• Grow With Guri’s 15-Minute Manifestation Meditation: Manifest Your Future Self”: https://youtu.be/H3TqC60UGoU?si=JF4IJuchQmh-rFiH
• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
  • Career Coaching: https://www.showmegrace.org/about-3

  ❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby: presspause4grace@gmail.com

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

In today’s episode, Nicole Darby introduces Tool Time, focusing on radical acceptance and its role in understanding self-perception. She provides actionable advice for finding the right therapist and shares a helpful checklist of 10 essential questions to guide your search for the best therapeutic fit.

Following Tool Time, unwind with a Mindful Moment featuring a guided meditation on accepting uncomfortable feelings, fostering self-awareness, and emotional growth.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:07 Intro to Tool Time
• 1:45 Term of The Day: Radical Acceptance
• 4:27 Find the Right Therapist
• 5:45 Checklist: 10 Questions to Use

(End of Tool Time With Nicole Darby)

(Beginning of Mindful Moment)

• 8:00 Intro to a Mindful Moment
• 8:16 Beginning of Meditation on Accepting Uncomfortable Feelings

(End of Mindful Moment)

• 19:10 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 19:31 BPD Daily Mantra
• 19:48 Outro
• 21:06 “Lonely Days” by CocoSA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNPLKvVXVqU

Episode Resources:

• Soothing Pod’s Mindfulness Meditation on Accepting Uncomfortable Feelings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_k2y6EQoBk
• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
  • Weekly Support Group: https://www.showmegrace.org/the-brain
  • Career Coaching: https://www.showmegrace.org/about-3

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby: presspause4grace@gmail.com

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle:

In today’s episode, Nicole Darby, Melanie Jones, and Dr. Gregory Serfer delve into affective instability, a core symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Dr. Serfer defines affective instability, explores its traits, and distinguishes it from moodiness and bipolar disorder. Nicole and Mel share personal experiences with instability, shedding light on common triggers and the challenges they face. Dr. Serfer also highlights the importance of accurate diagnosis and how medical professionals can improve evaluations to reduce misdiagnosis.

The episode concludes with practical strategies, treatments, and therapies to help manage affective instability, offering actionable steps for recovery and emotional regulation.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guests:

• Dr. Gregory Serfer: contact@gregoryserfer.com

Book: “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Quora: https://www.quora.com/profile/Gregory-Serfer

• Melanie Jones: emmjay993@yahoo.com
• Handsome Dan

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:07 Beginning Pleasantries and Dr. Serfer’s New Introduction
• 3:52 The Definition of Affective Instability and Its Traits/Attributes
• 8:15 Difference Between Affective Instability and Moodiness
• 11:35 Difficulty of Affective Instability
• 13:56 What is the Reason Behind It?
• 20:03 Mel’s Experience with Instability
• 21:59 Nicole’s Experience with Instability and Certain Triggers
• 38:43 How Does Instability Differ From Bipolar Disorder?
• 48:59 Misdiagnosis & How Should Medical Professionals Conduct Evaluation?
• 52:45 Mel and Nicole’s Experience with the Cycles with Instability
• 1:00:56 Useful Strategies, Treatments, Therapies, Steps Towards Recovery

(End of Interview)

• 1:08:38 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 1:09:00 BPD Daily Mantra
• 1:09:16 Outro
• 1:10:36 “Wasn’t Looking” by Eliza: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nplzEY0IXA&list=RDMM&index=29

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby: presspause4grace@gmail.com

Credits:

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

In today’s episode, Nicole Darby presents Tool Time, exploring schema therapy and unpacking BPD’s four dysfunctional modes; The Abandoned Child, Angry Child, Punitive Parent, and Detached Protector, while emphasizing the goal of a balanced Adult Mode. Then, Nicole also discusses the impact of support systems on managing BPD, offering actionable tips for building a community through “BPD Buddies.”

Following Tool Time, immerse yourself and unwind with a Mindful Moment featuring a guided gratitude meditation for self-compassion and inner peace.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Tool Time With Nicole Darby)

• 1:07 Intro to Tool Time
• 1:45 Term of The Day: Schema Therapy
• 2:24 BPD’s Four Dysfunctional Modes and Adult Mode
• 3:42 The Abandoned Child Mode
• 4:24 The Angry Child Mode
• 5:04 The Punitive Parent Mode
• 5:49 The Detached Protector Mode
• 6:30 The Goal: Adult Mode
• 6:55 True or False: Support Increases Improvement In Synonyms of BPD
• 7:44 Tool & Techniques: BPD Buddies & Ways for Success

(End of Tool Time With Nicole Darby)

(Beginning of Mindful Moment)

• 10:16 Intro to a Mindful Moment
• 10:44 Beginning of Gratitude Guided Meditation

(End of Mindful Moment)

• 19:27 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 19:50 BPD Daily Mantra
• 20:06 Outro
• 21:23 “I Am” by Beautiful Chorus featuring India.Arie: https://youtu.be/4gUY9QshcVQ?si=U1UVrfBsMprgc6-v

Episode Resources:

• Gratitude Guided Meditation - Female Voice by YaleUniversity: https://on.soundcloud.com/cSAsMux6cCexg5yi7

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby: presspause4grace@gmail.com

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

In today’s episode, Nicole, along with Dr. Gregory Serfer and Melanie Jones, dives into the true meaning of impulsivity in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and its impact on those affected and their supporters. They explore what impulsivity means for people with BPD (pwBPD), how to differentiate it from ADHD, and whether it can be destructive. Also, they examine theories behind impulsive behavior, discussing how it often manifests in those with BPD and the underlying drivers behind it. They discuss coping mechanisms, the impact on daily functionality, and how impulsivity often affects friends and family. Finally, they highlight how impulsivity connects to many defining traits of BPD, offering insights and support strategies throughout.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Dr. Gregory Serfer: contact@gregoryserfer.com

Book: “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

• Melanie Jones

Email: emmjay993@yahoo.com

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:07 Beginning Pleasantries with Gregory, Handsome Dan, Melanie, and Nicole
• 3:48 Impulsivity From Mel & Nicole’s Perspective
• 6:30 The True Meaning of Impulsivity and Its Impact on People with BPD (pwBPD)
• 13:48 Theories Behind Impulsivity Behavior Occurs for pwBPD
• 16:19 Clarifying Question: How Do I Know If I Have BPD or ADHD?
• 21:00 Is Impulsivity Destructive? Coping Mechanisms and Masking Impulsivity
• 31:28 Does Different Coping Methods Lead to Low or High Functionality?
• 44:04 How Impulsive Behavior Impacts the Supporting Individuals Around pwBPD
• 48:46 Many Definitive Criteria of BPD Are Connected Through Impulsivity
• 53:09 Mel’s Final Words and Nicole’s Perspective on Impulsivity
• 57:17 Dr.Gregory’s Final Words: The Effect of Alcohol on Impulsivity

(End of Interview)

• 1:02:31 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 1:02:52 BPD Daily Mantra
• 1:03:09 Outro
• 1:04:25 “Little Things” (Remix) by Jorja Smith ft MayDay: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xA9byN3fzks

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby: presspause4grace@gmail.com

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle