Showing results by author "Dan Gutman" in All Categories

Coke and Pepsi McDonald didn’t want to jump off a cliff. They didn't want to get hit by poisoned darts from blowguns either. And they certainly don't want to get locked in their burning school, thrown into a pit at the top of a sand dune, or drowned in a vat of liquefied Spam. But what are you supposed to do when you’re being chased across the country by your insane health teacher and two guys in bowler hats who are trying to kill you? One thing's for sure, it'll be a snap for Coke and Pep to write their essays on "How I Spent My Summer Vacation."

Coke and Pepsi McDonald never asked to be geniuses. They never asked to get lowered into a basket of boiling french fries, either. And they certainly never asked to be frozen in soft-serve ice cream, stampeded in a wild stadium riot, or kidnapped on a high-speed roller coaster. But that's what happens when a red-haired villain named Archie Clone is chasing you across America. This just might be the most dangerous road trip in history - and the most awesome!

Just when they think they are safe, theMcDonald twins are chased by an evil Elvis impersonator, trapped in a pool of flesh-eating soda pop, nearly pulverized in a giant shredder, and crushed in a turbo-charged carnival ride. Worst of all, no one believes them! Will they make it out alive? Will they ever find out who's really after them? All bets are off in this explosive third book in the Genius Files series.

Disaster reigns when A.J. participates in the school's holiday pageant celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.

Miss Small, the gym teacher, is teaching A.J., Andrea, and the gang to juggle scarves, balance feathers, and do the Chicken Dance! Is this any way to stay in shape? Whatever happened to good old dodgeball? In fact, all the grown-ups at A.J.'s school seem to have something wrong with them. What's going on here? What are A.J. and the kids in his class going to do? They've got to convince Miss Small to act her age before the end of the year! Never before has school been this mixed up -- or this much fun.

Something weird is going on! A.J. and his friends are afraid that Ms. Todd, their substitute teacher, has killed their regular teacher and is trying to take over her job. They’re going to have to do the detective work to get the goods on her. But it won’t be easy! Ms. Todd is the weirdest substitute teacher in the history of the world!

Every day is an adventure for A. J. and the gang. Now your favorite holiday hijinks are available in a single audio collection! Summer is almost over, and you know what that means - time to head back to school! But when a tropical storm ends A.J.'s vacation earlier than expected, he and his family have to stay at Andrea's house. Ugh, disgusting! Soon after, everyone in the house starts getting cabin fever, and even back-to-school shopping won't calm the kids down. So, Andrea and A.J. are sent to Camp Ockatollyquay. The catch? It's a camp to get kids ready for school!

The wackiest road trip in history continues in book four of the New York Times best-selling Genius Files series, following twins Coke and Pepsi as they dodge villains and visit weird-but-true landmarks from Texas all the way to Roswell, New Mexico. With the real-kid humor that has earned him millions of fans around the world, and featuring all-new weird-but-true locations around America, From Texas with Love is absolutely batty!

With over one million copies of his books in print, New York Times best-selling author Dan Gutman is a hit with young readers thanks to his energetic stories tinged with uproarious humor. Mrs. Kormel Is Not Normal! introduces Ella Mentry Elementary School's zany bus driver. Mrs. Kormel has been driving everyone crazy lately, and it's up to AJ and his buddies to figure out why.

What could be weirder than a mad science teacher who invents a car that runs on potatoes and wants to take over the world? How about a bus driver who can't even "find" the weirdest school on the planet?

Will the twins make it back home to California in one piece, or will they fall off the top of the Golden Gate Bridge? It's all coming to an end with this fifth book in the Genius Files series. You'll have to listen to believe it!

Something weird is going on! Ms. LaGrange talks funny and she's from some other country called France! She thinks the vomitorium is a fancy restaurant! She grows her own food right out of the ground! Yuck! Plus, she's writing secret messages in the mashed potatoes!

Something weird is going on! Miss Suki is a famous children's book author - and she's coming to A.J.'s school! She lives in the rainforest and writes about endangered animals. But when her pet raptor gets loose in the classroom, it's the kids who are going to be endangered! Yikes!

A.J. and the other students at Ella Mentry School brave trick-or-treating at the school secretary's house, even though it is supposedly haunted. Mrs. Patty, the secretary, gives out the best Halloween candy in the history of the world! But her house is haunted! People say she's a witch and her husband is a ghost. Is it worth A.J.'s risking his life for the best candy ever?

Mr. Macky dresses up as Abraham Lincoln to get the students at Ella Mentry School excited about their Presidents' Day oral reports.

It's Poetry Month and Ms. Coco, who runs the gifted and talented program, is poetry crazy! She cries when she sees a sunset! She thinks boys should have feelings! She talks in rhyme! All the time! Will A.J.'s life ever be normal again?

Valentines Day is just around the corner, and Mr. Louie, the hippie crossing guard, wants everyone to fall in love. So he puts a secret love potion in the water fountain. Will A.J. have to kiss Andrea?

Some kids want to be President when they grow up. Twelve-year-old Judson Moon wants to be President right now! "Grown-ups have had a thousand years to mess up the world," Judson explains. "Now it's our turn." But running for President is hard. You have to kiss a zillion babies and shake a zillion hands, and say a zillion 'hellos'."

Something weird is going on! Mrs. Yonkers, the computer teacher, is the nerdiest teacher in the history of the world. She can type with her feet! She buys foam cheeseheads off eBay! She even puts a Webcam on a turtle! Is she trying to take over the planet?

Prolific and popular author Dan Gutman launches a fun new series with this tale about second-grader A.J. and the unusual school he attends. On the first day of class, A.J. tells Miss Daisy he loves football and video games but hates school. Then Miss Daisy tells him she hates school, too, and the students think their teacher just might be an impostor.