Pain Killer
A Memoir of Big League Addiction
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Narrated by:
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Brantt Myhres
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Michael Landsberg
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Written by:
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Brantt Myhres
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Michael Landsberg - foreword
About this listen
Number one best seller
"This book is at times startling, yet very real and down to earth.... I saw [Brantt] in all phases of his life and his career. I consider him a friend and an ally. Pain Killer sends a strong message." (Darryl Sutter, former NHL player, coach, and GM)
From the only player to be banned for life from the NHL, a harrowing tale of addiction, and an astonishing path to recovery.
Brantt Myhres wasn't around for the birth of his daughter. Myhres had played for seven different NHL teams, and had made millions. But he'd been suspended four times, all for drug use, and he had partied his way out of the league. By the time his daughter was born, he was penniless, sleeping on a friend's couch. He'd just been released from police custody. He had a choice between sticking around for the birth, or showing up for league-mandated rehab. He went to rehab. For the fifth time.
This is his story, in his own words, of how he fought his way out of minor hockey into the big league, but never left behind the ghosts of a bleak and troubled childhood. He tells the story of discovering booze as a way of handling the anxiety of fighting, and of the thrill of cocaine. In the raw language of the locker room, he tells of how substance abuse poisoned the love he had in his life and sabotaged a great career. Full of stories of week-long benders, stripper-filled hot tubs, motorcycle crashes, and barroom brawls, Pain Killer is at its most powerful when Myhres acknowledges how he let himself down, and betrayed those who trusted him. Again and again, he fools the executives and doctors who gave him a second chance, then a third, then a fourth, and with each betrayal, he spirals further downward.
But finally, on the eve of his daughter's birth, when all the money was gone, every bridge burnt, and every opportunity squandered, he was given a last chance. And this time, it worked.
It worked so well, that not only has he been around for his daughter for the past 11 years, in 2015 he was signed by the LA Kings as a "sober coach": a guy who'd been there, a guy who could recognize and help solve problems before they ruined lives and made headlines (as the Kings had seen happen three times that season). Not only did Myhres save himself, he saved others.
Unpolished, unpretentious, and unflinching, Myhres tells it like it is, acknowledging every mistake, and painting a portrait of an angry, violent, dangerous man caught in the vice of something he couldn't control, and didn't understand. If Brantt Myhres can pull himself together, anyone can. And he does, convincingly, and inspiringly.
©2021 Brantt Myhres and Michael Landsberg (P)2021 Penguin Random House CanadaYou may also enjoy...
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What the critics say
“This book is at times startling, yet very real and down to earth. As troubled as Brantt was, he was still a great teammate and a player I enjoyed being with. I worked with him in San Jose, Calgary, and LA, so I saw him in all phases of his life and his career. I consider him a friend and an ally. Pain Killer sends a strong message.” (Darryl Sutter, former NHL player, coach, and GM)
“A devastatingly honest account of one man’s struggle with seemingly insurmountable demons. Through a combination of raw talent and hard work, Brantt Myhres finally realizes every Canadian boy’s dream of playing in the NHL only to throw it all away at the mercy of drugs and booze. An enforcer throughout his career, it’s his battle with addiction that proves him to be the ultimate tough guy. Pain Killer is a knockout.” (Will Arnett, actor)
“I met Brantt when he was working with the LA Kings Organization and he was open about his story from day one. In LA, he was a mentor for the players that found themselves going down a dark path, similar to what he had gone through. It speaks volumes about someone’s character when they can hit rock bottom, pick themselves up, and then help others up: that’s Brantt. This book makes his story accessible to everyone, not just players. I’m grateful for his courage to share and hopeful that it will help many others inside and outside of the hockey world.” (Paul “Biz Nasty” Bissonnette, broadcaster and former NHL player)
"Pain Killer is not your typical hockey autobiography; there are no championships or heroic on-ice moments. It is a rare glimpse into the dark side of professional hockey that concludes with a somewhat happy ending - certainly happier than that one might expect.” (Winnipeg Free Press)
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What listeners say about Pain Killer
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Mac
- 2022-10-02
One of the best audiobooks I’ve ever listened to
You can’t help but feel as if you personally know Brantt Myhres after listening to the book. His story, from childhood to adulthood is incredibly open and honest. Gave me a better understanding of addiction and the power it can have over someone. Ultimately, he conquered it and i hope he continues down the path to remain sober. So many good things i want to share in this review but it’s best to just listen and be hooked by his humility and love! What an awesome guy!
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- Matt
- 2021-03-12
Listen to this!
Fantastic listen! Great mix of history, humor, and genuine storytelling. Well worth your time! Keep it metal!
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- Rod Klassen
- 2022-12-07
Amazing Book
I worked as a drug cop for the better part of my career and this book would reflect on so many. Very happy that it turned out so well
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- Anonymous User
- 2021-05-01
A STORY OF RECOVERY AND REDEMPTION
I worked two high school summers for Brantt Myhres at the Greater Strides Hockey Academy. He was the first San Jose Shark I ever met and he signed my jersey. His memoir 'Pain Killer' is about fighting tough guys like Georges Laraque on the ice and fighting an even tougher opponent off of it: drug addiction. After being suspended four times for failed drug tests, Brantt became the only player to ever receive a lifetime ban from the NHL, proving he's a tougher tough guy now than he was back then. Sober for thirteen years and counting. This is a story of recovery and redemption that will help other lost souls wanting to change.
- Isaiah Berra
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- Mike Jaczko - Skateguard
- 2023-03-09
Must read for young players
Parents of young aspiring athletes. Read this book for sure! Message is real citing the dangers aspiring athletes face.
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- Julie
- 2021-06-18
Total Honesty
Brantt was always someone that I thought about when any of my friends would talk about hockey. Since I did not really follow the sport it was the only way I could ever feel like I was a part of their conversation. "I have a 2nd cousin who is in the NHL" I would say, and when I had no real follow up information the conversation would go on without me. Having only met Brantt once I never really knew anything about him other than he was an NHL enforcer. Listening to his story I was blown away by his struggle. His honest approach to his story is powerful and I cannot recommend it enough. I couldn't stop listening and finished it over a 24 hour period.
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- Anonymous User
- 2021-02-21
honest and genuine
Very authentic from start to finish. This book has the tools to help many with similar struggles. Thank you Brantt for your story!
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- Anonymous User
- 2021-06-02
A Real Look at Addiction
Excellent book which gives a straightforward explanation of addiction. There are many lessons to be had.
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- Tammy Brown
- 2021-02-27
I had all the emotions listening to Painkiller.
Listened to this book in record time. Both my husband and I had OMG's, laughter and some tough to get through moments.
Nelson Mandela's quote fits Brantt perfectly "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear but the triumph over it..."
I don't know what would have taken more courage for Brantt...facing Georges that last time, going to rehab 4 times or writing this book and releasing it for all the world to read.
"...The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid,, but he who conquers that fear."~Nelson Mandela
This book is humble, vulnerable and triumphant, everyone should read it and/or listen to it. Enjoyed it from the Foreword to the Epilogue.
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- marty
- 2021-03-22
Myhzie is a legend. He should be in a high position with the NHL
Myhzie is a legend. He should be in a high position with the NHL
Unteal story and test of strength and toughness to fight this everyday.
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