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High Conflict

Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out

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High Conflict

Written by: Amanda Ripley
Narrated by: Amanda Ripley
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When we are baffled by the insanity of the “other side”—in our politics, at work, or at home—it’s because we aren’t seeing how the conflict itself has taken over.

That’s what “high conflict” does. It’s the invisible hand of our time. And it’s different from the useful friction of healthy conflict. That’s good conflict, and it’s a necessary force that pushes us to be better people.

High conflict is what happens when discord distills into a good-versus-evil kind of feud, the kind with an us and a them. In this state, the brain behaves differently. We feel increasingly certain of our own superiority, and everything we do to try to end the conflict, usually makes it worse. Eventually, we can start to mimic the behavior of our adversaries, harming what we hold most dear.

In this “compulsively readable” (Evan Osnos, National Book Award-winning author) book, New York Times bestselling author and award-winning journalist Amanda Ripley investigates how good people get captured by high conflict—and how they break free.

Our journey begins in California, where a world-renowned conflict expert struggles to extract himself from a political feud. Then we meet a Chicago gang leader who dedicates his life to a vendetta—only to realize, years later, that the story he’d told himself about the conflict was not quite true. Next, we travel to Colombia, to find out whether thousands of people can be nudged out of high conflict at scale. Finally, we return to America to see what happens when a group of liberal Manhattan Jews and conservative Michigan corrections officers choose to stay in each other’s homes in order to understand one another better, even as they continue to disagree.

All these people, in dramatically different situations, were drawn into high conflict by similar forces, including conflict entrepreneurs, humiliation, and false binaries. But ultimately, all of them found ways to transform high conflict into good conflict, the kind that made them better people. They rehumanized and recatego­rized their opponents, and they revived curiosity and wonder, even as they continued to fight for what they knew was right.

People do escape high conflict. Individuals—even entire communities—can short-circuit the feedback loops of outrage and blame, if they want to. This is an “insightful and enthralling” (The New York Times Book Review) book—and a mind-opening new way to think about conflict that will transform how we move through the world.

Featuring audio highlights from actual interviews, town hall meetings, and podcasts. Conflict Management Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Social Sciences Violence in Society Career Liberalism Middle East Michigan Social Conflict
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there's lots of good information in this book but most of it is in regard to gangs and that does not relate to the average person who perhaps is listening to this book. In my case, I'm a therapist and I would love to have learned more about small interpersonal conflicts and marriage and relationship issues. These things were covered in a small way in the book as compared to the huge amount of time she gave to the conflict between groups and gangs.

Informative

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I enjoy listening this audio book I hope a second release is on the way by this author.

Awesome!!!!!

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We see and experience conflicts. What can be done about them? Using memorable and engaging examples, Amanda Ripley shows options where none seemed possible. The concept of a "conflict entrepreneur" (someone who benefits from conflicts) sticks with me.

Ripley narrates the book herself, which adds a more personal touch. I'm planning to listen to more of her books.

Engrossing

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Ripley uses a brilliant, albeit grim analogy of California’s La Brea Tar pits: it’s the source of one of the biggest collections of Ice Age fossils in the world, including those of Woolly mammoths and sabre-toothed tigers. For thousands of years, the pits became death traps to unwitting animals who wandered in and attracted predators with their struggle to escape. Much like the millions of creatures who became trapped in that murky goo, when we’re lured into a feud, we become helpless against the pull of high conflict.

Listen to my complete review on the Audiobook Reviews in Five Minutes podcast

Poignant and practical

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Je ne comprends pas à quoi sert ce livre… aucune analyse, que une série d’histoires. Quelle déception.

Ce livre n’a pas de sens. On n’apprend rien,

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